children??

Well left out, I will tell you, My child was nine and I pledged. In my interview, they never asked if I had childen. I was 31 years old, but looked about 22 as I still do today.
When we were accepted for membership, everyone basically told there background(family,home,age, kids, etc). After they found out they were all anxious to meet my child. They now refer to my daughter as their neice and she calls all my line sisters her Aunts. My daughter and husband understood and supported me in the fact that I would not be home all day for a period of time and that there would be many late nights, but when I got my letters they were just as happy for me. When you have babies, it is very hard and you should devote your time to them. Older kids are workable depending on the school. However, most organizations shun single, unmarried mothers because it goes against most of the virtues they look for and uphold in their members. Of course, get a baby sitter for the greek parties, but hey community events are fun for all ages and instill values in youn people. Come to think of it, it was my nine year old who encouraged me to go to our first line greek outing because she said "I should not let my sisters down" and it might be fun.

I forgot. Left out remember- there is always alumnae entrance after you receive your degree. Sometimes this road is a little easier not having to juggle classes and pledging.

[BlueReign]

Left Out, I am becoming extremely unpleased at the last few posts but please do not let this stop you. Life is harder and more demanding after your undergraduate days. Believe me. When you start holding down a 9-5 and trying to stay on top of your bills and advance in your field you will almost forget that you had interest in any sorority. I know I did. That is why it has taken me from from 1985 to recently to re-think this and to act on it. I am proud of the fact that I juggle all of this. Don't listen to people who tell you what is too much for you. Only you can be the judge of that!!!! Everyone's limits are different!!!!

The day of my induction ceremony my 8 year old son looked at me before I walked out the door and smiled and said, "Mommy, I am proud of you." My 5 year old daughter does my sorority's hand-sign and call (although I repeatedly tell her not to . My 7 year old son is my silent supporter. It feels good to share this with them.

I didn't mean to rattle on like this but one of the reasons I made this decision at my age is because MY CHILDREN made me think about the world we live in and about giving back to the community.

Ms. Left Out, seeing what you are about I think any organization would be proud and honored to have you as a member. I really mean this!!
Also, Blue Theatrics -- thank you for your compliment!!



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BE POSITIVE!!!

[Discogoddess]

Left Out:

I thought I was pretty clear in my last message, but if you would like to discuss this issue further with me, I would be happy to do so via email. Since I don't have your email address, you are welcome to use mine.

[This message has been edited by Discogoddess (edited June 22, 2000).]

[prettygyrl]

Discgoddess with all do respect I know no one has any rights to a memebership just because they meet qualifications BUT at the same time someone that has children does not have any less of a right to join a sorority than someone who does not! I am sorry that you would probably vote against a single mother in your sorority, you may be losing a great sister by doing that. The good thing is though that the world does revolve around what you think so since its not gospel everyone should continue to work for their goals no matter what their situation! If its being part of a sorority that a single mother wants to do then more power to her. If she crosses, as your soror what are you going to do shun her or tell her that she is not a good role model? Unfortunately the young lady did ask for opinions, but I am sure she was not expecting to be judged by anyone. We all come from parents and would any of you think less of your mom if she was a single parent? Would you think she did not deserve something that someone else had the opportunity for just because you came along? I highly doubt it. I am not going to go back and forth with this one though. I have learned that faceless people should not warrant such energy. I will continue in my quest, and I hope you do also Left Out! Much love peeps

[Eclipse]

Since I started this 'firestorm' with my question I so very much want to respond, but I have been out of the office since Tuesday doing training at a remote site. I will add my 2 cents to the dicussion later.

Eclipse

p.s. Oh..and for those people who feel that I (and others) are being 'judgemental', please realize that there is a difference in disagreeing, believing something is right, etc. and judging. See ya later

[DELTABRAT]

blu_theatrics,

I saw your picture on the site (with your Sorors)...since we're on the topic...is whose baby is that on the picture?

CUTE

[blu_theatrics]

I understand exactly where you are coming from and want to tell you to keep up the great work and any sorority should be proud to have you as a member.

Originally posted by Left out??:
For clarification, I am a single/unwed mother. I gave birth at the ripe old age of 15! I understood that I had made a bad choice in my life and it took me a long time to realize the plan God had for my life. My son is 8 years old and over those 8 years: I've rededicated my life to God and, in presenting my body as a living sacrifice to him, I've been celibate for 3 3/4 years. I counsel teenage mothers and speak at my former high school regarding teenage parenting and sex. I tutor inner-city children twice a week and I am the Director of the Young Adult Ministry at my church. I do all of this, plus attend school full time, work part time, and am a full time mother AND father to my 8 year old. I am well aware of who is charge of my life. As long as God is the Head of my life, my steps are ordered! I KNOW that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me and as long as what I do is for His glory, I can handle anything.

I thank and praise the Almighty God for giving me the strength and the ability to live the life that I live. I think it's time-out for peer condemnation. We should not look at people and think that, "because she is unmarried and has a child, she will be poor representation of my organization." I believe that I am a testimony. We all are. We should live as such.

Thanks for ALL responses!

[blu_theatrics]

Sorry, It's not mine, I have a boy, but that is my soror Keisha's daughter and before anyone asks, yes she is married and yes she had the baby after pledging angd getting married. However, the girl the baby is in front of is pregnant and due any day (not to mention my pledge mom..so watch your commente...lol) and the three girls in the upper left corner are my sands and all three have little boys (6,3 and 2 years old)
And I beleive that by being members of SGRho (or any org) we have more support in raising our children.

Thanks for cheacking out my page

Originally posted by DELTABRAT:
blu_theatrics,

I saw your picture on the site (with your Sorors)...since we're on the topic...is whose baby is that on the picture?

CUTE

[prettygyrl]

I have a question for al those who would have a problem with a single mother pledging their sorority. If someone has already crossed and then has children out of wedlock is she now no longer worthy to wear her letters? Should she become inactive and focus on her kids now? Or will you love her and support just the same? Just wondering

[darling1]

Left out I really don't have anything to add to the topic but there was something that struck about one of your original posts. You mentioned that hsving your child at 15 was a bad choice. I just want you to know that it wasn't a bad choice particularly since the end result brought you such a wonderful blessing that is your child, and a reconnection with God . Whatever you decide, I wish you much luck. Godspeed sista'!!!!

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Never cast your pearls before swine Matthew 7:6

Darling1,

Thank you so much for your encouragement! Just to clarify, the bad choice I was speaking of was not having my son. I was talking about the fact that having premarital sex is wrong in the eyesight of God and doing so was a sin. I don't regret having my son even though he is here because of an act of sin. I've been set straight by God and I lift my son up to him as my offering of love and dedication to His will. Hope I was a little more clear this time.

[blu_theatrics]

Nice Question

Originally posted by prettygyrl:
I have a question for al those who would have a problem with a single mother pledging their sorority. If someone has already crossed and then has children out of wedlock is she now no longer worthy to wear her letters? Should she become inactive and focus on her kids now? Or will you love her and support just the same? Just wondering

[Finer Woman10-A-91]

The point I believe Discogoddess is trying to make...and to some degree...I agree is PLEDGING is NOT a priority..raising a child is...and the environment of sorority life in college is not exactly child care friendly.

No one should have to compromise taking care of their child over ANY Sorority activities. In grad, Sorors are more sensitive to family life. But hey, people ultimately will do what they want to do.

Whatever you decide good luck...and may God bless you.

Originally posted by Discogoddess:
Prettygrl:

No one is asking you to justify your choices or get defensive about them, but I believe the young lady who started the thread was seeking people's honest opinions. And honestly, I think that people should realize that joining a sorority is not a right, and no one deserves membership simply because they have met the requirements and/or overcome adversity, such as single parenthood. Membership must be extended by those already in the group, based on educational, community service, and character assessments. And like it or not, there are members in these groups who disagree with the notion that single, unwed mothers in undergraduate school should be focusing on attaining sorority membership. I must disagree with my sisters here and say that I think young mothers should direct their attention toward receiving their undergraduate degrees and raising their children before seeking sorority membership. AKA, DST, ZPhiB, and SGRho will all be there waiting for them once they graduate and establish themselves in their respective careers and communities.

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Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated...Every Finer Woman's Dream!

[blu_theatrics]

I agree, I always say that my son was not a mistake, he was a surprise. A mistake is something you regre, while a surprise is something you didn't know you wanted or needed until it got here. And now you can't even realize how you lived with out it.

I think alot of the people who are posting negatively to left outs choice are not parents (Notice i did not say all)
But until you have a child, you don't understnad how much of an inspiration that child is for everything you do. When ever I start something now, I truly try to finish and do it to the best of my ability ( not that I was a lazy bum beforehand, though) It's just that I know I have someone looking up to me and I want to always do what will make him proud of me and I also want to show him how to be a better human being and what better way than being a part of an organization that is striving to uplift the community.

Sorry, I know I can be long winded at times, but I had to get that out

Originally posted by darling1:
Left out I really don't have anything to add to the topic but there was something that struck about one of your original posts. You mentioned that hsving your child at 15 was a bad choice. I just want you to know that it wasn't a bad choice particularly since the end result brought you such a wonderful blessing that is your child, and a reconnection with God . Whatever you decide, I wish you much luck. Godspeed sista'!!!!