Random Wedding Thread - Page 97

psusue · #**1441** 10-25-2011, 12:14 AM

My mom told me she'd give me $5000 for a wedding present. How I spend that is my decision. I could elope and save most of it or spend it on the wedding. But she's made it clear that that's the situation and I'm really grateful for it. She and my dad had a small ceremony and reception in their backyard and were married 16 years before my dad passed. With my stepfather they were married at the Justice of the Peace and have been married for 10 years this December. An expensive wedding does not a good marriage make, and I want to be as prudent as possible and decide early on what foot my marriage's finances will start. I hope that as I get closer to that point in my life I can keep my head on straight and realize what is most important for me at that time.

NinjaPoodle · #**1442** 10-25-2011, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psusue

My mom told me she'd give me $5000 for a wedding present. How I spend that is my decision. I could elope and save most of it or spend it on the wedding. But she's made it clear that that's the situation and I'm really grateful for it. She and my dad had a small ceremony and reception in their backyard and were married 16 years before my dad passed. With my stepfather they were married at the Justice of the Peace and have been married for 10 years this December. An expensive wedding does not a good marriage make, and I want to be as prudent as possible and decide early on what foot my marriage's finances will start. I hope that as I get closer to that point in my life I can keep my head on straight and realize what is most important for me at that time.

groovypq · #**1443** 10-25-2011, 01:14 PM

I had an interesting conversation with my mom recently about registries and wedding gifts. She thinks registries are getting out of hand... "in her day" you registered for the things you needed to get your household established. She thinks people ask for some ridiculous stuff nowadays and it should be about what the givers want to give you.

Personally, I don't think it's *that* bad. (We didn't even talk about honeymoon/cash registries... I bet she'd hate those!) I certainly didn't feel entitled to anything on my registry. We followed the "guidelines" and tried to pick things in a price range. We've both had homes for almost 10 years now and I don't need to "establish a household." So there were non-traditional things on the registry. I think people appreciate knowing what the couple wants rather than trying to guess.

Then again, some of my favorite gifts were the more creative ones, like the folks who gave us wine from where they're living now. But not everyone feels they're very creative and it's just easier to go on a registry and say, "I want to spend $50. Ah, this is $50."

Of course, this also stemmed from a story about my sister trying to buy a wedding gift and the couple's registry had really expensive basics such that one glass was $50....

Munchkin03 · #**1444** 10-25-2011, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by groovypq

I had an interesting conversation with my mom recently about registries and wedding gifts. She thinks registries are getting out of hand... "in her day" you registered for the things you needed to get your household established. She thinks people ask for some ridiculous stuff nowadays and it should be about what the givers want to give you.

Personally, I don't think it's *that* bad. (We didn't even talk about honeymoon/cash registries... I bet she'd hate those!) I certainly didn't feel entitled to anything on my registry.

I think I mentioned somewhere in this thread my friends who registered for really really really expensive things. It was ridiculous--lululemon pants? A $1,200 espresso machine? I'm sure it was a way to get cash instead of gifts but it was really transparent (then again, he's a doctor who chainsmokes so maybe they have a few screws loose).

Non-traditional stuff is fine. For example, one of my friends registered for camping stuff since they were outdoorsy. That's totally fine--I'd rather pay $100 for something that I know they're going to love and use instead of a way for them to get cash in a sneaky way.

christiangirl · #**1445** 10-25-2011, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I think I mentioned somewhere in this thread my friends who registered for really really really expensive things.

Maybe it was to get a discount? When my cousin had her baby shower, she had a lot of really expensive things on her registry but it was only because she got 20% off of the items no one bought. However, she made sure that everyone knew it was only for the discount and so they should feel free to skip straight over those items. (Though she lucked out and someone actually bought the mega-expensive carseat).

Munchkin03 · #**1446** 10-25-2011, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

Maybe it was to get a discount? When my cousin had her baby shower, she had a lot of really expensive things on her registry but it was only because she got 20% off of the items no one bought. However, she made sure that everyone knew it was only for the discount and so they should feel free to skip straight over those items. (Though she lucked out and someone actually bought the mega-expensive carseat).

That's what I thought...until I saw in the comments for the treadmill that they said that they'd totally be fine with a used one.

GeekyPenguin · #**1447** 10-28-2011, 11:00 PM

Sent a wedding gift to the Conservinator's cousin in August 2010 when they got married. We got our thank you Wednesday. She said they are enjoying being married so much that thank yous were at the bottom of her list.

KSUViolet06 · #**1448** 10-28-2011, 11:10 PM

^^^Wow. I'm sorry. I think that's rude. If you had waited over a year to send her gift, she'd think you were the rudest person on the planet.

No excuses with the Thank You notes, peeps. They come WITH your invitation suite so it's not even like you have to buy them separately. They're there just waiting for you to fill them out.

I understand that you may not have time RIGHT after your wedding (like, you're probably not going to sit down the day you get back your honeymoon and do them,) but it shouldn't take a year.

4-6 weeks after is a good timeframe. If you take a 2 week honeymoon, you can come back, take a week to relax, and if you have 200 guests, you can do 20 a night after work and have them ready to go by a month after your wedding.

GeekyPenguin · #**1449** 10-29-2011, 12:22 PM

I'm even willing to allow up to 3 months - in this case the bride and groom had an extremely old-fashioned courtship (5 months living in different states) and she moved almost 600 miles to move in with him after their wedding. I'm sure they were enjoying getting to know each other

and were busy working their ranch, but they cashed our check the week after their wedding. My mom always told me you shouldn't cash a check until you write the thank you.

I think it really stood out because the thank you came the same day as the thank you from my bff sorority sister for a present for her second child - which she had mailed in three weeks despite having two kids under two!

honeychile · #**1450** 10-29-2011, 01:37 PM

re: registries. One of the ones I'm using actually told me that I don't have enough items over $250 on my list!

Bottom line, it's more DF's friends & family than mine, and I didn't think that they were the over $250 type, and let's face it, I have most of what we need.

They really surprised me at the shower last week, though. One person came through with an entire set of Caphalon! We were delightfully spoiled - we couldn't fit everything in my Outback!

And... The invitations FINALLY came!! Woo Hoo!!

KSUViolet06 · #**1451** 11-08-2011, 10:21 PM

Super random, but it looks like my love of weddings/wedding planning is actually going to make me some extra money over the next few weeks/holiday season. Going to be working on some events with a friend who owns a planning co. in So Cal (and needs some extra eyes to put together ideas her clients might be interested in.)

FSUZeta · #**1452** 11-09-2011, 06:54 AM

like!

twinkle555 · #**1453** 11-09-2011, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

^^^Wow. I'm sorry. I think that's rude. If you had waited over a year to send her gift, she'd think you were the rudest person on the planet.

No excuses with the Thank You notes, peeps. They come WITH your invitation suite so it's not even like you have to buy them separately. They're there just waiting for you to fill them out.

I understand that you may not have time RIGHT after your wedding (like, you're probably not going to sit down the day you get back your honeymoon and do them,) but it shouldn't take a year.

4-6 weeks after is a good timeframe. If you take a 2 week honeymoon, you can come back, take a week to relax, and if you have 200 guests, you can do 20 a night after work and have them ready to go by a month after your wedding.

I agree..I got married last weekend and am already itching to get the thank you's done. I couldnt imagine waiting more than a month to get started!

Psi U MC Vito · #**1454** 11-09-2011, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Super random, but it looks like my love of weddings/wedding planning is actually going to make me some extra money over the next few weeks/holiday season. Going to be working on some events with a friend who owns a planning co. in So Cal (and needs some extra eyes to put together ideas her clients might be interested in.)

We've been saying for a while you should become a wedding planner.

honeychile · #**1455** 11-10-2011, 12:46 AM

Officially one month today!