You Know You're a New Yorker When...

[tunatartare]

*You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.
*You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning, just because there are seats available. You and the other three passengers look at each other and know you have pure grit.
*You are going home from work by subway and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the stairways at your home station.
*You refuse to eat any pizza slice that can't be folded in half so that you can eat it while you walk.
*You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas
*Paying 7 dollars for cigarettes will eventually seem reasonable.
*You get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road (speed limit, turn signals, etc)
*Someone passes out on the train you mistakenly think he is dead and think, "Why does he have to die on MY train because this is going to make me late for my appointment."
*You cross the street anywhere but in the corners, yelling at the cars for not respecting the fact.
*You move 8,000 miles away...spend 10 years learning the local language and yet when you open your mouth to speak people still say, "you're from Brooklyn aren't you?"
*You return after 10 or more years living outside NYC, and the first foods you want are real pizza and White Castle sliders.
*You start thinking that a 500 square foot apartment is large.
*Your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot house in the suburbs that was the same price as your 500 square foot apartment that you commute 35 minutes by subway to... And you think: "sucker."
*You know the differences between the various Ray's Pizza establishments.
*You see Harrison Ford walking down the street and nobody seemed to care to look at him.
*You know who Dr. Z is... (inside joke...us NYCers get it)
*You have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which you have neither ordered from nor even heard of.
*You long for Manhattan's pre-Giuliani openness, even if it meant crack smokers in the subway and the homeless peeing in the hallway.
*You are in another city and stop by what appears to be a "deli" and ask for an Italian hero with the works. They look at you funny--you walk out angry...and hungry.
*You know that the off the shelf insecticides work as laughing gas to the super resistant cockroaches in your building.
*You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the 4 major food groups: Chinese, Mexican, Cuban or Indian.
*You wouldn't dream of going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
*You ask someone, can you tell me what time is it or should I just go *&%# myself!!
*Your internal clock and daily calendar are permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are suspended or in effect.
*You know what a bodega is.
*You lose patience with those who say St. Louis is a world class city.
*You freak out because a stranger says hello.
*You learn how to fold the New York Times in-half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.
*You think people from Joy-zee talk funny.
*Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.
*You pay no attention to the nice lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with herself.
*You pay "only" $230 a month to park the car.
*You cross the street, almost get hit by a bicycle, and instead of being worried, curse the bicyclist.
*You watch the show "Sex and the City" as a documentary about the people you know.
*You visit friends out of town and you can't get to sleep because the quiet freaks you out.
*You remember Kung-Fu Saturday afternoons on pre-FOX Channel 5 and Abbott and Costello Sunday mornings on on pre-WB Channel 11.
*You remember Matt Lauer before he co-anchored the Today show.
*You think $1200 a month for a small studio is a steal!
*You are willing to pay a 18% broker's fee just to get ahead of the competition...and all he did was unlock the door.
*Having a window in your apartment is considered a luxury and not a necessity.
*You are willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.
*Your dog is bigger than your living room.
*Your reaction to a presidential visit isn't "oh boy, what an honor" but "oh no, what a pain traffic is going to be."
*The mere thought of a blueberry or chocloate chip bagel is an insult.
*The names Crazy Eddie, Tom Carvel and Joe Franklin bring a smile to your face.
*When as the announcemnet comes on the PA on the subway platform you turn your head, cock your ear, and when it's over you walk to the stairs to a chorus of, "Wait! Wait! What did she say??!"
*You're annoyed, instead of excited, that they're making a movie on your block.
*You can take a catnap on the subway and wake up when your stop is announced.
*You looked forward to riding the subway to read the next installment of Marisol and Julio.
*The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it is beer.
*You understand that the plural form of you is youse.
*You cheerfully make left turns from the right-hand lane and give old ladies the finger as they cut you off in traffic, but would NEVER make a right turn on a red light.
*You know that if a parking space looks too good to be true, it is.
*You're making $70,000 and you're "scraping" by.
*You find yourself fantasizing about apartments listed on the Douglas Elliman website.
*Nothing is north or south, it's uptown or downtown.
*Almost everyone you know has a story about how they finally got home after the WTC fell.
*You take harsh criticism of the city by a non-New Yorker as a personal insult, but readily accept and often agree with the same criticism coming from a fellow New Yorker.
*You think the kid selling M&M's for his basketball team for $1 is a rip-off, yet you don't think there is anything wrong with paying $15 for a martini.
*You can read all the posts here, and find yourself nodding with understanding and agreement (to most of them)...

[Peaches-n-Cream]

*NOD*
Right now I am looking at the Brown, Harris, Stevens website instead of Douglas Elliman, but it's the same idea.

[PhiPsiRuss]

That is so true. The only part of pre-Giluiani New York that I long for is for Times Square to lose the Disney crap, and get its edge back. Walking down 42nd, between 7th and 8th, used to feel like Russian Roulette.

[AlphaSigOU]

Ahhhh... the city so nice, they named it twice!

"O'im on da toid flowah o da Noo Yawk Stadla. Can oi hab a cuppa cawfee anna glazza wattah?" - The winning phrase of a 'Talk Like A New Yorker' contest held at a Houston, TX radio station. Won by John Occhiogrosso, a Brooklyn native exiled in Houston.

New York pizza... it's gotta be the water!

Born in Flushing, Queens, grew up in the unofficial Sixth Borough (aka ''The Borough of Beaches"), better known as South Florida in the wintertime. Growing up there I heard plenty of New Yorkese (and its maligned cousin, Brooklynese).

[aephi alum]

I grew up on LawnGuyland but I'm still smiling and nodding at these!

I could add a few off the top of my head:

- You're waiting on the subway platform. The train pulls in and every car is jammed except one, which is empty. You know better than to get into the empty car.
- You know you can't get a real bagel anywhere but New York.
- You don't own a car and don't see the need to.
- You know how to navigate a sidewalk.

[PhiPsiRuss]

About paying $230/month tp park a car. It would have to be a crappy neighborhood to get that rate. Its $500/month in a decent area.

[josh8o]

very cool...part of the reason why i want to move there

[Rudey]

Originally posted by josh8o
very cool...part of the reason why i want to move there

You should check out Chelsea.

-Rudey

[VIOLETGRL24]

When everybody says hello to you and you are like WHAT DRUGS ARE THEY ON?

You know every curse word in the book and in every language.