Sisters needing help connecting and respecting one another

[jmc6199]

I'm on the executive board of a chapter that has a unique group of sisters. We are all involved in different things and for the most part, we have always been really supportive of one another in that aspect.

Lately a few of my sisters have been coming to me stating that they have felt disconnected from the chapter and that they feel disrespected. I have been noticing myself some disrespect given from one sister to the next, rumors being spread within the group, and so on.

We have had issues like this before, however it hasn't happened for about a year. When we talk to the girls about it, they don't seem to get much out of it. How can I help address the problem in a different way that will get through to them better?

[tld221]

Disconnected and disrespected are two different issues, though im sure the disrespect can lead to feeling disconencted.

i always find that having an outside intermediary helps to talk things out. My undergrads have selective hearing - they take whatever they want to hear from me and the rest is white noise. I invited a couple of sorors from my graduate chapter to talk issues through and it was helpful.

The "feeling disrespected" often is chalked up to miscommunication and different living styles. Living with one roommate is hard enough, but a house full of sisters is bound to cause non-stop drama and feelings being hurt.

When i was an RA years ago, our staff created a 48-hour rule: if you are feeling disrespected or slighted in some way, take 48 hours to think on it, and if you still feel the same, address it then. this way, you dont get people in screaming matches over "remember when you did X 4 months ago? i was so mad!"

As for disconnected, simple events indoors are fun-watching TV shows together, a few sorors in my chapter started a book club, another group started a dinner club. Or, you could try doing events with nearby chapters. I know this doesnt often happen in NPC houses often (and someone can correct me if im wrong) but maybe some friendly fun with sisters that arent in the house? you can do crafts together, teach each other house chants, etc.

Ok that's all i got. Just know that its not just on you to work out chapter issues. Push people to solve their own issues, and dont be afraid to involve others when necessary.

[33girl]

You might want to edit your profile a lil bit to not give so much info away.

It sounds like you've embraced a really diverse bunch of people, and that's great. The flip side of that is sometimes people don't feel they have enough in common with each other and if people don't "get them" as they wish, they feel like they're being dissed.

If there's a sisters living in house/living out of house disconnect, make it a point to get together at the house before going to mixers or other campus events and arrive there as a group. (No, I don't mean pregaming.) If everyone just kind of "trickles in" on their own, there can be people who don't speak to each other all night.

Try having seating charts at meetings so different people sit together rather than the same cliques being together all the time.

I'll think of more later.