I'm starting to hate my roommate and we're in the same sorority...

[Skgreen1283]

I am a senior with 4 roommates in an apartment. I get along fine with three, but there's one who I absolutely cannot STAND.

We were close last year and she helped me through a couple rough patches. But, we moved in together this year. She's so passive aggressive, and when she does confront me about issues she just attacks me so I immediately go on the defensive. She belittles things that I am interested in. I've told her that sometimes things she says offends me and that I will speak up when they do, but at this point, I don't want to do that because I don't want to save our friendship. I'm not the type of person who will cling to a relationship that isn't working anymore.

I think that she's upset because we were close last year and now we're not, but based on how she is treating me, I don't know if she really wants to salvage this friendship either. Honestly, at this point, I really feel like it's beyond repair anyway. But we are both still friends with our other roommates, and we're all in the same sorority. I'm not sure if she talks shit about me behind my back, although earlier I heard her whispering to one of my other roommates that I might have driven home drunk (for the record, I walked home with friends because I was drunk, but she clearly thinks very highly of me). I try to limit who I talk about her with to my big, who graduated and isn't friends with her anyway, and one of my best friends who I don't live with.

I basically am so mad, and with this being senior year and me trying to figure out what I'm going to do next year, I'm really too stressed out to deal with her bullshit. I don't want to be her friend anymore. I'm just done. BUT, at the same time, we are in the same sorority and we are still friends with our other roommates. I'm trying to just be cordial because I know I'll never have to see her again when the year is up, but she's making it really difficult. Have any of you dealt with this?? I'm really not sure what to do anymore.

[Titchou]

Just be polite. You never know...there may be something going on in her life that is causing her to be this way. A little politeness goes a long way. You don't have to hang out with her - just be polite. There are 5 of you there...surely you aren't alone with her all the time. Just limit your interactions and be polite when you have to be around her. You'll be stuck with unpleasant people in your adult working life and this is an opportunity to learn how to manage that.

[33girl]

This just goes to show that good friends don't always make good roomies.

I agree with Titchou in that she may have other things going on in her life...it may also be that while helping you, she opened herself up in ways she regrets and that took her places she didn't want to go. Because of that she's pushing you away and becoming hostile. It's like a defense mechanism.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by 33girl

This just goes to show that good friends don't always make good roomies.

Shout it from the rooftop!

That includes Line Sisters and Chapter Sorors.

[DubaiSis]

Welcome to senior year. I hate to tell you, but it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. Keep your eyes on the prize, minimize contact. Don't say or do anything to feed the problem, to the extent you can help it anyway. And try to not have your roommates be the majority of your social life. You are all going through what is probably the most stressful 12 months of your life. You know one door is closing but you are not even seeing any light peeking out from under another one. And you're not alone. The goal is to not take it out on each other. Because it's not you - it's SENIOR YEAR. This too shall pass.

[WhiteRose1912]

Have you tried talking to her in a non-confrontational way about your concerns? Not calling her out when she does something hurtful, a la...

I've told her that sometimes things she says offends me and that I will speak up when they do, but at this point, I don't want to do that because I don't want to save our friendship.

...but a serious, sit down, one-on-one talk where you express concern that your friendship may be deteriorating and that you'd like to take steps to fix it. Even if you don't want to fix it, the goal is to be back on at least cordial terms until your lease is up.

[WCsweet<3]

I could have written this my senior year except that there were only two of us in our apartment. Don't have much to say other than I'm sorry and it sucks. It didn't turn out well for me so yeah, good luck!