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  #1  
Old 10-10-2011, 07:33 AM
Cen1aur 1963 Cen1aur 1963 is offline
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Joint account or separate account

I was hanging out with a group of friends over the weekend -the group I was telling y'all about. We had a deep discussion about this. I'd rather have two separate bank accounts. Is that selfish or do some of y'all feel me on this?
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  #2  
Old 10-10-2011, 08:24 AM
BluPhire BluPhire is offline
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Whatever you are comfortable with. There is no right answer. Joint works for some marriages, separate works for others. That's one of those dealbreakers that needs to be discussed before saying I do.
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  #3  
Old 10-10-2011, 08:40 AM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.
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  #4  
Old 10-10-2011, 09:57 AM
AnotherKD AnotherKD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.
That's what I have. After my husband and I were married, I frankly wanted to have one account, as that's what I grew up with and that's what my parents did. But, after thinking about it, of course they did, because my mom was (is) a homemaker. But my husband and I both work. I like being able to go to Saks and buy what I want without him hassling me.
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  #5  
Old 10-10-2011, 10:09 AM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherKD View Post
That's what I have. After my husband and I were married, I frankly wanted to have one account, as that's what I grew up with and that's what my parents did. But, after thinking about it, of course they did, because my mom was (is) a homemaker. But my husband and I both work. I like being able to go to Saks and buy what I want without him hassling me.
Indeed and couples need to agree on this before getting married.

The largest percentage of incomes go into the joint account and the rest go into the separate accounts.

My significant other and I don't need to ask each other whether we can buy/afford to buy some new shoes. And, aside from discussing our calendar of events, we don't need to ask whether we can afford to go on golf trips or vacations with friends. Individual expenses are individual expenses. But, tread lightly and keep paperwork (I'm a stickler for outlining monthly expenses) because individual expenses do not trickle down to the joint account. Don't go into debt and get all crazy to the point where your investments and monthly deposits can't cover your individual expenses.
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  #6  
Old 10-10-2011, 10:19 AM
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
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Single account. My husband does the money. I make most of the money. I spend money how I see fit, and he let's me know if we're getting low for the month and won't make our savings goals. It works for us. We've had a single account since we were dating (what were we thinking?) and used to fight all the time about money when we both paid bills and managed the account. I get an update now so I know where the money has gone, but not micromanaging our money has saved us tons of strife.
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  #7  
Old 10-10-2011, 10:23 AM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Originally Posted by AOII Angel View Post
Single account. My husband does the money. I make most of the money. I spend money how I see fit, and he let's me know if we're getting low for the month and won't make our savings goals. It works for us. We've had a single account since we were dating (what were we thinking?) and used to fight all the time about money when we both paid bills and managed the account. I get an update now so I know where the money has gone, but not micromanaging our money has saved us tons of strife.


I commend couples for doing what works for them (meaning, both of them). I must also tip my Feminist Hat to you for being the primary breadwinner.
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  #8  
Old 10-10-2011, 10:33 AM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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My system is similar to AOII Angel's except I handle the money and he earns the majority of it. I was counseled by my mother that when you make a lifetime commitment, you have to commit all the way, including your finances. Of course, having a separate savings account for yourself is never a bad idea. But I just find it weird when I hear friends discussing who's paying for dinner or whose turn it is to pay for this or that bill. On the other hand, peoples' marriages are all VERY different and whatever works for you is what you should do. If I didn't control the finances in my marriage, we'd be homeless, lugging around mountains of overpriced junk.
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  #9  
Old 10-10-2011, 10:36 AM
agzg agzg is offline
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We (as cohabitators that live in sin) have a joint checking account but separate savings and personal checking. We keep the amount in there pretty low but we go through the same bank so we can transfer money in and out easily. It's worked well for us for almost 4 years and I could see the only change after we get married would be adding a joint savings account.

Since we live in a larger city with a pretty high cost of living most of my money goes into the joint account anyway, since we pay 50/50 on everything. We've talked about adjusting for our relative incomes but I actually like paying my half even though it means I might have to pinch pennies sometimes. It just makes me feel like if we were ever to break up I'd be able to take care of myself.
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  #10  
Old 10-10-2011, 10:53 AM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.
This is how we do it, too. But yeah, there is no right answer to the question.
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  #11  
Old 10-10-2011, 11:34 AM
ree-Xi ree-Xi is offline
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Before we were married (in the Catholic Church), we went to Pre-Cana wedding counseling. They covered all sorts of everyday conflicts, and forced us to discuss it. Even if we didn't end up with an answer that day, it gave us the opportunity and guidance to start discussing it. Since the answer varies for every couple, it's hard to say that what I think is the better way, but we have found what works for us.

We do discuss purchases that would affect the household (regardless of cost) such as a new vacuum cleaner, as well as bigger-ticket items like upgrades to our computers. We also like to ask each other for opinions on things. We really trust each others eye for fashion. In other words, we both know what looks good on the other person.

Hence why everyone who's seen my hubby's new jeans (that I picked out) have made positive comments on them, with several of my girlfriends telling him that he needs to take their hubbies shopping.
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  #12  
Old 10-10-2011, 11:47 AM
Jill1228 Jill1228 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
Both.

Joint accounts for joint expenses. Separate accounts for separate expenses.
Yes this!
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  #13  
Old 10-10-2011, 12:10 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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Putting my counselor hat on:

So many couples ignore talking about money when they're engaged (or even seriously dating.)

That's why it's important to seek some sort of premarital counseling because it forces you to talk about this stuff with a neutral party.

Ex: You're going to have a problem if you find (after marriage) that your hubby is all about having control of all money/spending decisions and handing you a $2o allowance per week when you would rather have a joint account.

There's a reason why money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Two people probably had TWO different views on money/saving/spending.

You need to know before you get married if your fiance's idea of financial security = payday loans from Cash O Rama.
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  #14  
Old 10-10-2011, 12:23 PM
ADqtPiMel ADqtPiMel is offline
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Married four years, I make more than he does. We have separate checking accounts and a joint savings account. He's responsible for paying the rent and his student loan payment; I cover everything else -- bills, trips, fun money, etc. He uses a credit card for small stuff (lunch at work, new clothes, etc.) that I pay off in full each month. Whatever's left over out of our checking accounts at the end of the month goes into the joint savings account.

My parents have always had separate accounts so I never really considered a joint checking account. I think it's important for everyone to have a little bit of their own money...just in case.
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  #15  
Old 10-10-2011, 12:35 PM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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All our money goes in the same pot, but all our accounts are in my name. Husband is stereotypical Latino that doesn't like banks. He's got a credit card, but prefers to use cash for everything anyway.

Our finances work just fine because he feels like I make more, so I should be able to spend more, and I just consider it all "our money". This will get interesting when I'm in school and have ZERO income for 9 months. At least our living expense money is coming from the equity in the house which is in my name, so I'll feel like I'm contributing...maybe?
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