Does anyone else think this is wrong?

EPTriSigma · #1 01-13-2005, 12:17 AM

My roomate gave a key to our apartment to our apartment to her boyfriend without asking me first. They have only been together for eight months and she is his first girlfriend. I have found him at times in our apartment alone when I get home.

aurora_borealis · #2 01-13-2005, 12:29 AM

Yeah that is rude as hell.

I live alone, but I always discussed that, and other situations with roommates before we signed a lease. If he is there and if he is using your parking space, utilities, eating your food, and arriving unannounced or infringing on your space (in the bathroom and you need to take a shower to get ready for work), perhaps you may want to discuss this before it gets out of hand. You're paying half the rent, but sharing the space with two people at times, doesn't seem fair or respectful. Plus how creepy is it to come home and find someone there or be walked in on?

However, you should check your lease or rental contract and make sure by her doing that she didn't breach it. You could be royally screwed over if your landlord has issues with that, and it could cost you a lot of money. I had three friends that moved into together, one gave a key to her boyfriend, he was practically living there, the other two roommates said something because it violated the lease, and the girl moved out and they were stuck paying for her part of the rent and couldn't renew their lease.

texas*princess · #3 01-13-2005, 12:59 AM

i totally agree w/ aurora_borealis. that is majorly creepy and super rude.

I had a situation similar to that.. and even after talking to my roomie about it, it still continued... so then I basically told my roomie and her boyfriend that if he had a key and was living there & using utilities etc. we were going to begin splitting the rent/bills 3-ways instead of 2.

he disappeared very soon after that.

I didn't want to be rude, but seriously.. having visitors is one thing.. having a live-in boyfriend or some guy who randomly comes and goes as he pleases as if he lived there is another situation entirely.

EPTriSigma · #4 01-13-2005, 01:02 AM

It gets worse (outside of the boyfriend issue)....

She doesn't like to pay bills on time, she is always having money problems, and my stuff keeps growing legs and walking away!

aurora_borealis · #5 01-13-2005, 01:15 AM

Get out NOW. If your stuff is missing and she can't pay the bills, MOVE.

texas*princess · #6 01-13-2005, 01:29 AM

no kidding. that is an all-around bad situation.

moe.ron · #7 01-13-2005, 02:29 AM

I would move out now. Your credit rating might suffer because of her.

EPTriSigma · #8 01-13-2005, 02:45 AM

Yea I know! I lucked out in that most of the bills are in her name.

winneythepooh7 · #9 01-13-2005, 06:54 AM

I know that it's easier said then done, but if you can get out, go for it. I have been through similar experiences and it sucks and can be very draining on your overall sanity. That's why I finally moved on my own. Now I have to watch my expenses but there is nothing better than coming home to my own apartment after a hard day at work and not having an annoying roommate to deal with.

mmcat · #10 01-13-2005, 07:52 AM

run don't walk away....
this sounds nothing but bad and creepy.

DZTUBAGIRL · #11 01-13-2005, 08:09 AM

I have a similar problem...I moved in with one of my sorority sisters that I am not too close to. Well she is a certain fraternity "groupie" and and her boyfriend is in it. She never even mentioned to me that her boyfriend has a key. I have known him for a while and he is the one who told me. Well not only does he come in when we aren't there but his brothers do too. I wil come home and a bunch of her friends are sitting in the living room and she is nowhere to be found. I ask them where she is and they say, "she's in class." I think to myself, why in the H@## are you here then??? She even leaves the door unlocked when she leaves so her friends can come in when they feel like it. I don't really want to complain because she never spends the night there and she is good about paying her half of the bills. I guess I will have to get over it.

About your situation, if she isn't paying the bills and her boyfriend is pretty much living there, you should find somewhere else to live. It isn't worth being miserable. I hope you can work it out.

kappaloo · #12 01-13-2005, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by EPTriSigma
It gets worse (outside of the boyfriend issue)....

She doesn't like to pay bills on time, she is always having money problems, and my stuff keeps growing legs and walking away!

If you can leave - LEAVE.
If you can't leave - change the doorknob on your bedroom door to one with a lock. Put everything you love dearly in there. Lock it whenever you are not in the room.

_Opi_ · #13 01-13-2005, 11:35 AM

Did you talk to her about these issues?

Because if you did, and she is still behaving the same, I would take the advice of the above posters...and find another roommate!

honeychile · #14 01-13-2005, 11:54 AM

This happened to me, but since I couldn't stand the bastage, I told him to give me the key or I'll have the lock changed. He gave me "a" key - so I moved out.

There is no possible good that can come out of this situation.

SSS1365 · #15 01-13-2005, 03:20 PM

Are you living with my old roommate? Kidding, but seriously it sounds just like this woman I used to live with. I only lasted 4 months in that house before I had to get out.