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Old 09-05-2007, 09:51 PM
Lightning Bug! Lightning Bug! is offline
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New Retro Recruitment!

Hi ladies!

I went through rush back in the nineties, and I’ve been having a wonderful time procrastinating from work by reading all of these stories. I feel like I should pay everyone back with my own story. It's a LONG post, so save it for when you want to do some serious procrastinating! I had to wait until my husband went out of town to post this, because he would have teased me to no end if he saw what I was doing!
I went through rush at a southern state university. I was from out-of-state, and, as everyone knows, this can work for you or against you. I was *thrilled* not to have all the pressure on me that my high school friends were having at our home state university, also in the south. But I was still going through rush at a southern school, with a southern mother and a southern grandmother, both sorority alumnae, PLUS I knew that when I went home for Christmas, sorority comparisons were bound to be fierce - who had gotten in where. And I knew that all of the in-state girls at my soon-to-be university had spent the summer going to alumnae teas and picnics (this was back when you could get away with this), and I didn’t know a single person at my new school. My mother and I went through the rush book to prepare recs. The houses were:

French Vanilla
Belgian Chocolate
Strawberry
Peach Sorbet
Cookies and Cream
Coffee
Rocky Road
Butter Pecan
Mint Chocolate Chip
Fudge Ripple
Cookie Dough

I assure you, there’s absolutely no significant correspondence between flavor and sorority. And I won’t reveal any houses, because the Greek system at this school is having a rough time, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s rush. Plus a few of the houses don’t even exist anymore, and some new ones have been started. My grandmother was a Butter Pecan, and my great-grandmother had been a founding member of a Butter Pecan chapter. I had great recs for this house. My aunt was a Cookies and Cream, so I had some recs from her and her friends for this house. My mother was a Belgian Chocolate, so I had great recs for this house! Several of my mother’s friends were Strawberries, which was a great chapter at my home state university, so I had lots of recs here. I had one French Vanilla and one Rocky Road rec. The other houses weren’t very well represented in my hometown, so no recs for these. And unfortunately, none of these was from members of the actual chapters at this school, except for Cookies and Cream. The rush book doesn’t give you much information, and this was in the days before GreekChat, so I knew NOTHING about any of these houses ahead of time. My only stereotypes were formed from the chapters at my home state university. I got to campus prepped with some cute outfits and a good case of nerves, seeing as how I didn't know anybody. My roommate, who turned out to be a junior, not in a sorority, immediately started telling me what people thought about the different houses. I also started talking to fellow freshman in the dorms, and in my rush group, and I learned the following: Some houses heavily favored girls from The Big City in that state. That wasn’t the case in my home state, so this was news to me. Butter Pecan was the most cut-throat house on campus, Rocky Road was the richest, Belgian Chocolate was known for having lots of campus leaders, French Vanilla hazed, Cookies and Cream had all the athletes, and Cookie Dough was the super cute sorority. All of the houses were pretty good, except for Strawberry, Fudge Ripple, and Coffee. Unfortunately, I had lots of recs for Strawberry, since it was such a good chapter at home, but I was willing to go into all of these houses with an open mind. I have to tell you about another girl in my rush group whose mother, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, etc., were all French Vanillas from this chapter. This girl, Robin, had the advantage of being from The Big City, but she was still SO nervous. She told us all that she HAD to be a French Vanilla, or she couldn’t go home at Christmas. Unfortunately, French Vanilla, which was the house that hazed, was a very popular house, and they had a bad habit of getting revenge on girls they had gone to high school with by either inviting them back through house tours and then cutting them or putting then at the very bottom of their bid list after being super sweet to them and getting them to cut other houses.

Round One: I loved French Vanilla, Belgian Chocolate, Strawberry (in spite of the reputation, they turned out to be really nice), and I liked Mint Chocolate Chip. Butter Pecan and Cookies and Cream were okay. I found the other houses really boring. Belgian Chocolate had really lively girls, and I was so impressed by their super-cute membership chair and the fact that they used an indie-rock song, instead of the ubiquitous Grease rendition or disco music! French Vanilla girls were just really down to earth and cool. The Strawberry girls were really cute, and I didn’t know why they weren’t more highly regarded on campus, and they rushed me really hard. Mint Chocolate Chip was fine, not super special, until a girl who had been a few grades ahead of me at my high school came up and said hello – I had no idea she was even there, and even though we weren’t really friends at home, she was so nice to me, and we clicked right away!

Round Two: I got invited back everywhere, and when I saw poor Robin practically hyperventilating before getting her invites, I was so glad I didn’t have that pressure on me, even though I had enough of my own! I was getting reports from my mother about rush cuts at our home state school, and it was really nervewracking. Now I had to cut three houses from my lists. I selected Rocky Road, where I had the most BORING conversation of all time, Fudge Ripple, which lacked all sophistication whatsoever, and Coffee, which was a newer chapter at the time, and I was too scared to give them a chance (lesson to potential rushees -- they turned out to be a GREAT chapter, quite quickly! give new chapters a chance!). My Rho Chi, who, weirdly enough, also had a class with me, started arguing with me, saying “Are you sure?” She and I had gotten along really well to that point, so I didn’t understand why she was being so weird. But I was sure. She kept asking me why Rocky Road, saying, “You know they’re a really good house…” I started to get the feeling that she might be a Rocky Road, and I felt really bad and almost changed my mind, but I had hated the girls there so much, that I decided that I should stick to my guns. Robin DID get invited back to French Vanilla. Cookies and Cream had the cutest skit of all time, but the girls who rushed me there kept talking about how hungover they were and how much they couldn’t wait to crawl back into bed! When I was on the other side of rush, there were many times I wanted to get more sleep too, but I would never have admitted it to a rushee! I got a VERY weird vibe at Butter Pecan, where I had the great recs. First they asked me “where I summered,” which I took to mean, “How much money does your family have,” although I could be wrong. When I told them I had gone to France the summer before (which was true, but it was a class trip, not a family outing to a chateau or anything like that), they suddenly broke rotation and brought some other sisters in to talk to me. They were so nice, but I got the feeling that they were trying to make a big decision whether to cut me. This was an extremely popular house, and they had lots of in-state legacies and girls from The Big City who were already friends from home, so I knew that they had really limited spots. At Belgian Chocolate, I met the cutest girl of all time who was majoring in the same thing I wanted to major in, which was a really weird and unusual major, so it would have stood out. She and I had an instant bond, and I was happy to tell my mother that I LOVED this house. I had a really great, laid back time at Mint Chocolate Chip, with the friends of the girl from my high school, and we sat out on the terrace and had a really down to earth conversation about what we liked to do for fun, and we sort of tentatively talked about going to the beach together once rush was over. I had fun again at French Vanilla too, although the hazing rumors were freaking me out, plus I found myself in the back of the house alone with six sisters – a big no-no that felt really weird. I wasn’t sure if they were rushing me really hard or if it was just a fluke. And I was having second thoughts about Strawberry – the girls were still really nice, but they just didn’t have the energy the other houses had.

Round Three: I got cut at several places this round, but I ended up going back to my favorites, French Vanilla, Belgian Chocolate, and Mint Chocolate Chip, as well as Strawberry and Butter Pecan. I got a VERY weird vibe this time at both French Vanilla and Butter Pecan – at French Vanilla, I was taken to an upstairs room with two other rushees and four sisters who were obviously VERY high and were, as a result, very mellow and not talking a whole lot. I had no idea what this meant about my standing with the house, but it was really uncomfortable for all of the rushees in that room. Robin was still rushing French Vanilla, though, so I felt good for her, although I was worried, because she was WAY overdressing for this house -- they were very casual, and she was in very fancy designer skirts and jewelry during rounds where the rest of us were wearing simple khaki skirts and polos. I continued to have a great time at Belgian Chocolate and Mint Chocolate Chip, and I felt like I would fit in really well at either house and that the girls liked me. Although I was a legacy at Belgian Chocolate, I didn’t know about the legacy policy that gave me an advantage if I made it through the initial rounds – my mother didn't want me to know about this until after rush. And I knew lots of girls who had been cut at Belgian Chocolate, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Also, at Mint Chocolate Chip, I was worried because the girl who had been rushing me so hard there was a senior, and perhaps the underclassmen wouldn’t care about her opinion so much because she would be leaving anyway. I KNEW I was getting cut at Butter Pecan, because several girls talked to me about how much they loved meeting me, and they hoped for the best, but the matching process was so hard when you had so many legacies coming through. And when I later found out about the legacy thing, I realized that they had to cut me that round, before pref night, or I would have been guaranteed a spot on their list. Strawberry was turning out to be a big disappointment – I think because of all the great recs I had, they had sent some of the cutest, peppiest girls in to rush me hard in the beginning, but as I met more of the sisters, I realized that most of the house was sort of grumpy and lacking energy and commitment.

Pref Night: Sure enough, Butter Pecan cut me, and I had been cut by French Vanilla also – fortunately Robin hadn’t, although she was so nervous, she could barely walk -- and she even knew about the legacy thing and was still worried that something would go wrong. I was very excited about Belgian Chocolate and Mint Chocolate Chip, but not so excited by Strawberry. The first cute girl who had rushed me so hard in the beginning was chosen to pref me at Strawberry, but all she did was show me, sort of half heartedly, every single picture in this photo album that she had obviously just put together for pref night, saying “This was this mixer, this was this mixer, this was this party, etc.” Maybe she was trying to de-pref me (make me not want to pledge there), but I got the feeling instead that she felt like I was “in the bag,” which is not the feeling you want on pref night, especially when she kept reminding me that out-of-state girls were at a disadvantage – I felt like it was a threat – you had better choose us, because we’re your only hope! But the other two houses were great. First I went to Belgian Chocolate. I had a HUGE soft spot for this house. My mother was a Belgian Chocolate, she had talked about Belgian Chocolate all her life, and I had connected with several girls there, plus I felt they were a very special group, very individualistic and extremely smart and poised and confident, as well as being adorable and classy and obviously bundles of fun, and they had such a good reputation on campus, from Greeks and non-Greeks alike. Two girls I had really connected with talked to me that night, and both told me how they had fought over pref-ing me until they decided to split the pref down the middle, and there was just so much happy and positive energy at that house -- almost like it wasn't pref but a big celebration! I felt like I was at home already during the pref, and I left really wanting to join that house but scared to get my hopes up in case they didn’t want me. But then I had an AMAZING time at Mint Chocolate Chip – their senior testimonies made me tear up in a way that I hadn’t at Belgian Chocolate, and I didn’t know what that meant -- they all seemed so attached to each other and so genuinely appreciative of their sisterhood, and I wondered whether the crying and the candlelight was what a sorority experience was all about -- things had been much more peppy and upbeat and less sentimental at Belgian Chocolate. At Mint Chocolate Chip, the girl from my home town was being SO sweet to me, telling me how much she had enjoyed getting to know me better, and how much fun we were going to have next week when I joined Mint Chocolate Chip. I felt very sentimental toward Mint Chocolate Chip when I left. I walked back to fill out my bid card in silence. I didn’t know what to do. I knew that Strawberry would be at the bottom of the list, but I was so conflicted about Belgian Chocolate vs. Mint Chocolate Chip. I was worried that my mother’s love for Belgian Chocolate was influencing me too much, and I was maybe feeling something that wasn’t actually there, because I had developed bonds at Mint Chocolate Chip that had nothing to do with legacies or reputation. But I felt pressure from the girl I knew at Mint Chocolate Chip – she and I had really clicked, and she clearly saw us as future sisters, and I knew I’d feel terrible letting her down and having to see her around campus for the rest of the year -- she must have pulled some strings to get me a rec from a Mint Chocolate Chip alumna back home, because I didn't have one for that house. The other thing I was feeling was confusion about what I should feel toward potential sisters. I knew I’d feel at home at either house, and I felt very affectionate towards the sisters at both houses, but at one house, I really admired and looked up to the girls and I knew that I’d have to live up to their very high standards, which I didn't think was a bad thing at all, and at the other house, I felt like I’d fallen into a group of friends who just wanted to hang out and have fun and bond and support each other. This isn't to say that the first group wasn't deeply attached to each other or that the second group didn't have high standards -- they just had different styles. And I wasn’t certain of getting a bid at either, and I didn’t want to pin all my hopes on a house that was going to reject me. And I knew that the moment I signed my bid card, I’d be giving into one set of feelings toward a house, and if I got rejected from my top ranked house, I’d be crushed and feel like I was settling.

So what I can tell you now is that Robin DID get a bid from French Vanilla and was not rejected forever by her insane family, and my Rho Chi WAS a Rocky Road and had really talked me up to the chapter (totally against the rules -- and I knew she was a Rocky Road before Bid Day because I saw her sneaking into the house after the second round) and was embarrassed when I cut them so early on. And in case any of you are wondering, Panhel has cracked down on all the rush infractions since my day, Butter Pecan was put on extended social probation for dirty rushing, and the hazing rumors about French Vanilla were true -- fat circling at a frat house (I saw the marks on some of their pledges back in the dorms). And Robin went on to become president of French Vanilla but spent most of her time involved in other extracurricular activities because she never clicked with her sisters.


What happened to me?
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  #2  
Old 09-05-2007, 10:08 PM
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honeychile honeychile is offline
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ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What DID happen to you?!??!!?!?!?!?
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  #3  
Old 09-05-2007, 10:09 PM
SWTXBelle SWTXBelle is offline
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spill!
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  #4  
Old 09-05-2007, 10:13 PM
Lightning Bug! Lightning Bug! is offline
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I want to get some guesses before I tell what happened ... I'm always interested in what other people would have done. Obviously it was based largely on emotion, and no one here can get in my heart and in my head in that moment in time, but I have given you all the things I was weighing ... I'll tell tomorrow towards the end of working hours -- I want to give back to all the posters who have given me so much procrastination joy...
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Old 09-05-2007, 10:18 PM
Benzgirl Benzgirl is offline
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Since you didn't suicide, you got a bid. And since you didn't give us many details on Strawberry, I would say you got number 1 or 2.
I'll go take Belgian Chocolate for $200.
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  #6  
Old 09-05-2007, 10:35 PM
Katmandu Katmandu is offline
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Great story! I will go with Mom's legacy sorority, mainly coz I wish I had a legacy and it sounds like the legacy factor meant something special to you.....

You said you went through in the 90's. Was it Big-Mall Hair 90's or later, more elegant 90's?
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Old 09-05-2007, 10:43 PM
Lightning Bug! Lightning Bug! is offline
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Mid 90s -- no big hair, but I am APPALLED at some of the clothes I wore during rush! I don't think individually any one part of my outfit was bad, but it was at that awkward time in the 90s when nothing really coordinated well. Or at least I didn't coordinate that well. Everyone wore shorts and tennis shoes to round one of rush, which was such an unthinkable no-no in my home state that I was totally unprepared. I had to dress-down all of my rush outfits at the last minute, and I don't think anything ended up working out well except for my GREAT pref dress -- a poison green sheath! Anyway, I am SO impressed how nice all the girls look these days -- I think they've really gotten down the elegant classy sundress or blouse and skirt combo.
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Old 09-05-2007, 10:46 PM
AlwaysSAI AlwaysSAI is offline
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Nope, nope.

I think it's Mint Chocolate chip.

(But watch-she's gonna tell us that she got a bid from Strawberry, joined, loved every minute of it and has served as Nat'l President.)

Haha, just a wacky thought.
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  #9  
Old 09-05-2007, 10:47 PM
SWTXBelle SWTXBelle is offline
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I vote Belgian chocolate - yum.
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Old 09-05-2007, 10:47 PM
Benzgirl Benzgirl is offline
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Lightning Bug,
I want to go to bed. Can you give us a hint?
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  #11  
Old 09-05-2007, 10:52 PM
Lightning Bug! Lightning Bug! is offline
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Oh, I would love to give you a hint, but that would compromise my goal of waiting until all of the working women have gotten to weigh in. Check back tomorrow late morning-early afternoon ... maybe one hint ... when I was making my choice, I thought a lot about why I was at university, what I wanted out of it, and how a sorority and a sisterhood would help me achieve those goals.
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Old 09-05-2007, 10:54 PM
Benzgirl Benzgirl is offline
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So I take it that you didn't just jump into the hot fudge. I'll check back with you tomorrow.
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  #13  
Old 09-05-2007, 11:00 PM
Fleur de Lis Fleur de Lis is offline
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This is CRUEL!!

I guess you put down Mint Chocolate Chip because you got emotional and looked up to the sisters. But you ended up at Belgian Chocolate because that's where you belonged and felt at home!

BTW, I love the idea of prefs being a celebration!

Can't wait to find out if I'm right.
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  #14  
Old 09-05-2007, 11:08 PM
Ocalagirl Ocalagirl is offline
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I think you put down Mint Chocolate as 1 and Belgain as 2, but got a bid to Belgian and never regretted getting the bid!!
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  #15  
Old 09-05-2007, 11:48 PM
sarasmile sarasmile is offline
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Originally Posted by Ocalagirl View Post
I think you put down Mint Chocolate as 1 and Belgain as 2, but got a bid to Belgian and never regretted getting the bid!!

I'm not sure which one I think she put first. I'm with you in thinking that she didn't get her first choice, but has never regretted getting her second choice.

(How could you regret it, if you had such a difficult time deciding between the two to begin with? Its like a win-win situation...well, unless you get the 3rd choice of course.)
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