What to tell overconfident PNMs

[OldOleMiss]

What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

[Lovethesand]

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss

What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

I'm definitely like you - an over-preparer - while my Debbie isn't. Drives me absolutely crazy that she isn't and I'm sure it drives her crazy that I am.

I really think it goes back to you don't know what you don't know. I'm pretty sure once she gets to teas the other PNMs will open her eyes to SEC Greek reality.

[OldOleMiss]

I hope you are right love!! BTW I just finished reading Debbie's rush story and by far one of my faves!!!!

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss

What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

I think they don't bother with recs for a couple of reasons:

1. It is just SOOOOOO much work (done with that dismissive tone that teenagers excell at)

2. Special Snowflakes think the rules don't apply to them because they are just... so... SPECIAL

3. Teenagers seem to think that if you can't do it via Instagram or Snapchat, it is ancient and trivial.

Yes, I am being a bit snarky today. Latest run in with a couple of little twits used up all of my restraint.

[pinksequins]

ThetaLady-- correction to #2: SOOOOOO SPECIAL : )

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by pinksequins

ThetaLady-- correction to #2: SOOOOOO SPECIAL : )

I agree SOOOOOO completely, Pinksequins!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

But keep in mind, too, that northerners might be getting "WTF, you don't need that" responses from alumnae who they ask.

[HQWest]

Maybe the thing to explain then is "you wanted to go to Alabama to do sonething different right? It is really different! To do your best and have the most choices -you NEED recs there"
I would say that for most SEC schools

[als463]

Originally Posted by AOIILisa

Yes, or even from the POV of northern greeks who aren't on this site. Before I came here, I wouldn't have known how different SEC rush is from anywhere else and would have probably been just as nonchalant about getting recs as your friend.

As a reference: my alumnae chapter was just reviewing its goals for the year and one of them was to write at least one MIF (our term for a rec). We wrote.. exactly one, for someone who was going to a big SEC school. (There was a collective sigh around the room over what the poor kid is going to experience going through recruitment there!). Penn State and all the other PA schools just don't use recs, for the most part. Yet I am sure there are other AOII alum chapters that write hundreds!

I bolded what you said because it's a great point! I write recs for girls going through schools now as an involved alumna and a few of my girls have gone Phi Mu. I'll never forget when I was in college and we had a southern girl going through recruitment. We got a rec for her. Since I had never seen them used in recruitment, I thought it was a sign she really-really-really wanted to be a Phi Mu. I remember thinking, "Wow. This girl really wants to join our chapter. She even sent a headshot and a resume. She must really have her heart set on Phi Mu." I didn't know any better that this was common practice down south.

[HQWest]

Maybe the thing to explain then is "you wanted to go to Alabama to do sonething different right? It is really different! To do your best and have the most choices -you NEED recs there"
I would say that for most SEC schools

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I just don't understand...

Even if you (general you) think that you have recruitment figured out and a bid in the bag, why not get recs as a fail-safe?

The company I work for now is where my mom works. Her boss was essentially the person who hired me. I had met him a few times prior to my interview, and we always had great conversations. He told me a year prior when I was still living in northwestern PA (the company's home office is in Jersey) that should I ever decide to move, he would have a job waiting for me.

Guess what I did when I was told I had an interview..... I sent in my resume, brought one with me to the interview, wore a full suit (even though I was told business casual), gave them 2 letters of recommendation, 3 references, and followed it up with a thank you letter.

Nothing in life is guaranteed.

By jumping through the hoops, you show them that you take the opportunity seriously and are willing to do what it takes to get the job.

Recruitment is the same way. Even if you have strong connections to a chapter, you want the whole chapter to know that you take the opportunity to join them seriously. If you don't, there is a strong chance that people in the house are going to look at you and say "Y'all, I just don't think she cares that much about us. She didn't even bother to get a rec for us. She's not serious about joining XYZ. We should let her go because she is going to drop us. There are other women who are serious about XYZ who we need to focus on."

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by HQWest

Maybe the thing to explain then is "you wanted to go to Alabama to do sonething different right? It is really different! To do your best and have the most choices -you NEED recs there"
I would say that for most SEC schools

After you say that maybe you could send them some SEC links from this site.

[OldOleMiss]

oh Thetalady I sooooooo needed that snark this morning!!!! Too wonderful!!!


als463 I am in tears laughing thinking about southern girl coming through Pen Recruitment and ya'll looking at her rec wondering what to do with it-- again another wonderful perspective story on how it must be just as "fish out of water" for a southerner to come up north and rush as a northerner going down south to rush…

KDCat-- THIS!!! Y'all, I just don't think she cares that much about us. She didn't even bother to get a rec for us. She's not serious about joining XYZ. We should let her go because she is going to drop us. There are other women who are serious about XYZ who we need to focus on." This is wonderful!!!! and I think this is what I will pass along to friend after daughter goes to the teas--- "IF she likes them get her a rec to show them"---

Thanks everyone for chiming in on my "vent"--- you've made me more calm over the "situation" of special snowflake!

[pinksequins]

Great posts! Maybe we should call overconfident PNMs snooooowflakes. : D

[iamamom]

I want to throw my .02 in as my mid-atlantic daughter is going to an sec in the fall. Most of the women she's gotten to do her rec's had no idea about needing these forms filled out. She had packets made, printed off the recs, or sent links if they had to send them directly. I'd say she educated them on the process, not the other way around. Everyone has been flabbergasted by her resume, pictures, transcript, addressed envelope, etc whereas I see here is probably nothing compared to some of these southern girls packages.

If I didn't happen upon this site we wouldn't have known to do this. The information on the schools website and the information they provide tell a much different story than the reality.