children??

[1Babygirl2000]

The fact that you have a child should not hinder your chances of becoming a member of a sorority. One of my undergrad sorors/sands who just crossed is a full time student and a full time mother. Hope that gives you some inspiration!

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#1 Baby Girl
Spr. 2000
Alaska Alumnae

[Discogoddess]

Left Out??:

I would take some time to seriously weigh your responsibilities and decide whether you can devote a serious amount of time, money, and energy to the sorority of your choice, given your school and parenting duties. The four NPHC sororities have been around for decades and aren't going anywhere, so we'll be around whenever your life's responsibilities afford you the opportunity to apply for membership.

Also, I have a child. Would this present a problem when attempting to gain membership in a BGLO sorority? Thanks for any helpful responses.

[AKAtude]

Within my organization, it does not pose a problem or would hinder someone from seeking membership.

[BlueReign]

I am a graduate member of SGRho and I have 3 children!! I include them in my life as much as I can and take them to activities sponsored by my organization that are youth-oriented. Please don't feel that a child will hinder you. It's just a matter of making time for all of the things in your life that you feel are important. Plus I like the fact that I am exposing my children to greek life before they get to college.

Thanks for your replies and encouragement. I do not have a young child (he is 8 3/4)and I do have a very strong support system. My family is the greatest; they are always there when I need them. My question, I guess, was how would the members treat a situation as my own? Would they look at it like I am not responsible? or maybe, when I pledge, that I am abandoning my child all of the time? You know? Any feedback from this standpoint? What would you think of a single mother who was pledging your sorority?

Originally posted by Left out??:
Would they look at it like I am not responsible? or maybe, when I pledge, that I am abandoning my child all of the time? You know? Any feedback from this standpoint? What would you think of a single mother who was pledging your sorority?

I think you are setting a good example by demonstrating that you want to continue your education, and that you want to get involved in a sorority (and not for the parties, either). Having never met you, you may want to give a lot of thought as to whether you will be able to manage school, your son AND being dedicated to your sorority. It could be a tough squeeze on your personal time (you need time for YOURSELF, too, don't forget!). But if you think you can do it all, good luck to you (and remember to get plenty of sleep)!!

[ZetaAce]

Left Out?-

I had a single mother pledge my sorority. Her daughter was 5. We didn't look down on her at all! She always put her daughter first of course, but she has a strong support system and she participated in every event that she had to. As long as you are taking care of your obligations no one is going to feel like you are irresponsible. Becoming a member is not 'abandoning' your child. Don't think that someone is going to think you are wrong.

What's most important is how you feel about it. If you feel you have enough resources (time, money, support, etc.) to pledge then I say go for it! All sororities have plenty of people with different obligations (like motherhood, school, work, etc.) and still find time to become productive members. And like someone said before, if you don't feel the time is right, we will be here. (You can become a member when you are 90 if that's the best time for you! ) Good Luck!!

ZetaAce

I agree with dstbrat. There are just some places not suitable for young children.

Left Out,
One of my line sisters was 25 or 26 and she had 3 kids when we pledged and another one was 5 or 6 months pregnant when we began. Also, at my campus there were girls who joined other BGL Sororities and had a child or children. We didn't look down on them at all. We tried to help them out through baby sitting and we had a shower for our pregnant LS. It's all about time management for school, the organization of your choice, and your child.

[This message has been edited by c&c1913 (edited June 20, 2000).]

[Eclipse]

c & c 1913,
I know this is going to open up a can of worms, but were your linesisters married at the time?

Originally posted by Eclipse:
c & c 1913,
I know this is going to open up a can of worms, but were your linesisters married at the time?

In response to eclipse, I suppose one could also ask the nature of the question and why would you want to know?

[DELTABRAT]

Left out?

In my experience, it is not something that is frowned upon. Never once was it like, "Choose...the sorority or your son." Nor was it like "Oh, you have too many other responsibilities to pledge." Also it never was like "Because you haven't missed a function, you must be a bad mom...therefore..." If you choose a sorority chapter with positive, uplifting women, it shouldn't be a problem. On the other hand if yhe chapter is a bunch of women interested only in having errands run and "hazin" then it may be an issue. We are all women. We all would like to be married and have children...one day. Most of us understand sacrifice and committment. Many of us welcomeit as long as you can delegate time efficiently so that nothing seems to be getting "back burnered." God, academics and family should always come first. That's understood...by most.

Good luck. E-mail me personally if there are any questions you would like to know personally.

[DELTABRAT]

Eclipse,

"You knew the job was dangerous when you took it."
Superchicken theme song

Why is the marital status of these women an issue?

[Eclipse]

gloriajean said: In response to eclipse, I suppose one could also ask the nature of the question and why would you want to know?
_________________

gloriajean, I'm not sure what you mean by 'the nature of the question.' Could you clarify? As to why I want to know...their marital status would give me some indication of the support system that they had while undertaking such an endevour and like a lot of questions that are asked on this board I just wanted to know!

DELTABRAT said: "Why is the marital status of these women an issue?"
______________________

An issue???? I wouldn't say that it is an 'issue' for me, but I do think, if they were not married it should be an 'issue' for the sorority they were pledging.

If the next question is why would it be an issue...
1. I think a woman 5 months pregnant, married or not, should spend that time bonding with her baby to be, the father, etc., not trying to bond with her linesisters. That time is very important for the baby's devolpment. Plus, 3-4 months after she crossed she would probably be 'out of commission' for a while taking care of the baby, so what contribution could she make to the sorority? Of course, since I do not know the young lady in question, I am merely speculating.

2. As for the 25 or 26 with 3 children..time would certainly be a factor in my book! Plus, if you are a 25 year old single mother with 3 children,,,well, let me not go there!

3. In addition, I have heard many older members of sororities express distain for their younger sorors who are single parents because of the negative image that they may be sending to younger girls (in their youth or teen mentoring groups especially) that they might be mentoring.

I personally think society's standard regarding out of wedlock children has gotten too lax and that we must display the attitude that it is not o.k.

But in actuallity, all of this (my comments) are just general in nature, because I do not know the facts of the situation that c&c1913 spoke of.

Waiting for the floodgates to open....

p.s. Could someone tell me how to repost someone else's comments so they come bold and between the lines like gloriajean's did? Thank you!


[This message has been edited by Eclipse (edited June 20, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Eclipse (edited June 20, 2000).]

[Discogoddess]

Eclipse:

I agree with you that many sorority members look askance at younger unmarried mothers joining their organizations. I have VERY mixed feelings about it myself, that's why I urged the young lady to think long and hard about making such a commitment.

I do think that whether we want to admit it or not, we as sorority members give tacit approval to single motherhood by extending membership to unmarried mothers, ESPECIALLY on the undergraduate level. How do we tell our young mentees to avoid early motherhood when many of our own members have CHOSEN that route? It seems contradictory. And what's this about children at greek parties and step shows? WHY????????????????????? Call a babysitter!!! If you can't get one, then realize that's part of the price of CHOOSING to have a child while still young and single.

At one time, participation in debutante cotillions, sororities, and the like was considered the reward for girls who had stayed on the straight and narrow. If these activities are now open to those who CHOSE not to wait until marriage to have kids, what message does that send to young girls contemplating the same?

On the other hand, I can't judge someone for the choices they made, as I too have fallen short of the glory of God. However, women should realize that when they affiliate with an organization, they (the individual) become synonomous with the organization, and in fact they ARE the organization to most folks who come in contact with them. To answer your second question, Left Out??, I don't think I would vote positively on a young, single undergraduate mother. I would advise her to finish her studies, raise her child/children ('Oh Lawd' on the 25-year-old with three of 'em!!!), establish her career, and try at the graduate level.

Just my thoughts...