Hey HB,
Well I'm not really sure when the appropriate time to ask that would be. See my sorority does Rush a little bit differently. My sorority is not in the NPC or w/ all the "mainstream" greeks, so our Rush is designed slightly different. Before our Rush week starts, we have a pre-Rush informational meeting beforehand so that interested girls can come out and find out things about our sorority (ie, history, membership, philanthropy, etc, etc.) So at this time, it would be ok for a woman to ask what the time committment would be. In your case, I would say to maybe hold off until the second set of parties to ask this. I'm not really sure though. Maybe someone who is in a sorority and does things like what you describe would be more helpful. I would just guess and say that it would be cool to wait until the 2nd set of parties or rounds to ask this. To me, if you asked right away, you might come off as being a little too eager in terms of trying to find out the committment. They may think "geez this girl must be too busy for us" or that you may have other things that are way more important than the sorority. OR..they may think "hey, ok, she obviously wants to fit the sorority in her schedule b/c she wants to be a dedicated member, etc"
So like I said, I can't say for sure since my sorority does things differently. But I'm sure someone who's org does things like this can help ya out! Good luck w/ everything! I'm sure you'll do fine w/ asking the questions and all
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A Radiant Lady of
Zeta Sigma Chi Multicultural Sorority, Inc.
http://www.umich.edu/~zchi