For all the moms and daughters hurting after recruitment

[Hally]

I never post but think this might be a more positive story especially for the moms who have wonderful daughters and things didn't work out as they planned. Others be advised that I will try to condense it, but it will probably be a snooze fest for you! Sending daughter off to an extremely challenging school, everyone has everything going for them or they don't get in! Talked her into rushing if nothing else to meet people, this was a few years ago and I still use old verbage so bear with me. Rush is fairly competitive, but nothing like ACC or SEC. We all know how we feel about our daughters so for the Moms you so get it. Her best friend from home is also going to the same college and both her parents went there. She is a wonderful girl and also a legacy to a great house. My daughter is a double legacy to another house on campus. Just an aside my daughter's best friend and parents ran into a couple and their daughter at check in--all of the parents are friends from the same school from long ago and the daughter is in my daughter's dorm. Best friend's parents say oh my gosh you are in the same dorm as our daughter's best friend, keep an eye out for her. Move in day and a darling girl from next door asks if we have a hammer, of course get talking to parents and connecting. Home friends come over to see my daughter's room and wouldn't you know, next door girl is the daughter of their friends from college days. The girls really hit it off. Now rush comes, best friend from home and girl next door have dream rushes, my daughter's was ok, but one house is really the one she wants. Her legacy house is not one she is interested in, but keeps going back. Mom puts kabash on that--if you're not interested, don't feel like you have to go back! Pref night they can go to three houses. They all went to three. The three girls have one house in common--best friend's legacy house, girl next door is another legacy to a great house and is a little undecided, but decides on the house all three have been to pref. They rank the same house as number 1. My daughter decides to suicide even though she has two others from which to choose (know this is so not pc correct, but can't remember what suiciding is called now) the house that all three of them have. At this point, I'm not advising daughter. They have to make their own choices! Bid morning, best friend and girl next door get the house, daughter doesn't--calls crying, said her Rho Chis cried when they told her no bid. Mom feels terrible cause I'm the one who encouraged her to rush! I know people here say no snap bids when you do what she did, but she got two, Rho Chis' sororities. She didn't accept. Mom says you will be fine and just get invoved in other things. Honestly, she recovered much sooner and better than I did! This is already way too long so I will stop and continue later if anyone is interested--

[AOII BAMA MOM]

OH MY GOSH.

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. What a fine young lady to be able to handle this disappointment with strength and class. Does this school have spring rush? She should be encouraged to go out for it. She will now have friends who will be voting for her. Seriously this story hurt me so----I can so relate to this. I have heard of this same scenario happening over and over again. Bless you and your daughter---she is still young and can do it again and hopefully end up in the sorority of her dreams. The best of luck to you as a wonderful supportive mother and to your fine daughter.

[Hally]

Thank you for your thoughts--the post was so lengthy, but this happened a few years ago so know how you could have missed that detail! I'm a gabber as well as long winded as I write.

[xoheatherxo]

im sorry to hear what happened to your daughter, but maybe its a good thing that she suicided (no idea what the pc term is either...when i went through rush it was still being called that too and that wasnt that long ago!!). i mean it would have been great for her to get a bid, but if she truly didnt feel like the other two groups were a good fit for her, its probably better that she didnt just take a bid just to be in a sorority.

[Hally]

I just wanted to finish this. I promise it won't be so long. Since she had 3 choices and only put down one, she was not able to do anything for a year. Sophomore year comes around, daughter was very involved in lots of different activities so had many friends in many sororities. This time mom kept mouth zipped. She decided to go through formal again. (I'm thinking yikes, but just encouraged her to have fun) It was a whole different scenerio this time. She had so much fun and still met a lot of people that she didn't know. She was rushed hard by several and at preference went to her 3 top choices. She was wavering between her top last year and another. I didn't talk to her until after she received her bid so I had no idea what she did. Went with her heart and got her top choice for this year, the same as last year. So it had a very happy ending. She was an officer and loved it. I encourage all of you that are disappointed with your results to keep up your grades and get involved. Her freshman year also made her realize that you can still have a great college experience even if you're not greek. However, this was not an SEC school . . . .

[honeychile]

Thank you, Hally!

It always seems like the end of the world on those first few days when most of the PNMs are now wearing their GLO t-shirts, but handled correctly, a second recruitment can be the answer. Congratulations to your daughter for coming through this smelling like a rose!

To those who end up bidless: Life goes on. Bear in mind that you don't know what has happened behind the scenes, and the GLO of your dreams had to take someone ahead of you - you could have been the very next person on the bid list. Make friends, both greek & non-greek, find some fun activities, and work on your GPA. Yes, you are in college for an education!

In other words, make yourself known on campus - in positive ways. Should you decide to give Recruitment a second try, everything will be much more clean cut - and hopefully, much more successful!

[Hally]

Just wanted to clarify when I mentioned it wasn't an SEC school, I meant that rushing as a sophomore wasn't that big of a detriment.

[UGAalum94]

And sophomores can get bids at SEC chapters; it's just pretty rare for them to get them at chapters that released the same girl as a freshman. The PNM must make spectacular improvement to her resume and even so, some groups will cut her.

[Hally]

Thank you! That is what I wanted to say, you just said it better! BTW same daughter just graduated in May from UGA Law School and loved it--What a great school and Athens is such a fun town!