D&R Random

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Funny. Passive-aggressive, not nefarious or dirty. I'm a text book adult child of an alcoholic but I've worked a lot on resolving those issues. But at the time of meeting my husband I didn't have those issues under control.

Well, there really are people who assume they can change someone. And it's always self-deception to believe you can change another human being. See them as they are, and then decide if you can be with that person "as is" in a relationship. If you cannot, cut your losses before they get expensive. You can't miss what you never had, right?

And I'm glad you have those issues under control. I hope you meet that special someone who treats you like you want to be treated. Just make sure he's free and clear of excess appendages (that would be baggage). Even the airport charges extra money for heavy, extra bags.

[DubaiSis]

You are so right. Sadly, when you are in the middle of being a fixer you don't know that that's what you are doing. A book called The Language of Letting Go helped me quite a bit, as did some really helpful counseling.

Too bad we can't sit over cocktails and commiserate. Because man oh man, do I have some stories to tell! And anyone who spent much of their adult life single usually does.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

Too bad we can't sit over cocktails and commiserate. Because man oh man, do I have some stories to tell! And anyone who spent much of their adult life single usually does.

lol
I know, right? I'm all for dating stories because some of them (especially the ones on here) are hilarious!

One of my lvts at work always has stories to tell us about her dates, and they are too funny. Unfortunately, they never work out for her. Her relationships don't either. She told me once that she thinks she'll be single forever. I told her that being single is a gift. It truly is. Whether she lands the gift of singleness forever or eventually trades it in for the gift of a relationship or marriage with a good man, I told her that the key to enjoying whichever she presently owns is simply recognizing the value. Whether or not she realizes the significance of the gift that she has makes a huge difference in how she treats it. And I think this applies to many single women and men.

Well, just don't settle for "Mr. He'll Do". Keep your standards where they are, DubaiSis. Broaden your options, but never lower your standards (whatever those standards are). You're single now, and that's fine. Just live in the moment and make the best of it. Seasons do change. Wearing summer clothes in the middle of winter has never made summer come any sooner. Same thing applies to being single and in relationships.

Oh, and don't be afraid to post some of your dating stories here, if you feel comfortable doing so. I'm such a nosy bun!

[Diamond Girl]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

You're in Chicago, right? I know there are good bruhs in your area. Heck, probably even some decent Ques you could go out with. .......nah, scratch that Que part.

lol you are a mess. Yes, I'm in Chicago (Evanston). And you have a daughter, right? What if she said, "Dad, I've been dating this foine man, who treats me like a queen." Then, when she brought him home to meet her Alpha dad, come to find out he's a Que. You'd lose sleep that night lol. I know you'd give him a hard time about his frat every time he showed up at your front door lol.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Well, just don't settle for "Mr. He'll Do".

This! I know that's right! That's all I've been sayin'.

[TonyB06]

Originally Posted by Diamond Girl

lol you are a mess. Yes, I'm in Chicago (Evanston). And you have a daughter, right? What if she said, "Dad, I've been dating this foine man, who treats me like a queen." Then, when she brought him home to meet her Alpha dad, come to find out he's a Que. You'd lose sleep that night lol. I know you'd give him a hard time about his frat every time he showed up at your front door lol.

Two, actually. Nah, hopefully we talked in-depth enough that she wouldn't fall so far short of the mark in her choice of men. lol.

No. I don't lose sleep. The boyfriends lose sleep wondering what I might do to them....that's how that goes.

[DubaiSis]

I have started back into writing. So in lieu of juicy dating stories to tell, I'm making up better ones. Just so I don't start to believe the fantasy is real, right?

I had forgotten how much I like to write and how easily it flows. The story I'm working on now is a fictionalized version of my vacation this spring. It's good for me to get it out, even if half of it is made up Sadly, there was no fabulous guy who swept me off my feet during that week in Central Europe.

[tld221]

One of my RAs just gushed to me about asking a girl out. Well, he told her wanted to take her to lunch, and then they did. He was trying to play it cool but he seemed very excited.I wished him a good weekend of cutesy text messages full of emojis, because girls tend to like those sort of things.

If you like text messages and emojis, I suppose.

And then I lamented on the slim chances of me having a date in the near future. Womp.

[StealthMode]

A co-worker was gushing about her date tonight. As she was describing this "OMG amazing" guy, I realized it was the same guy she was complaining about last week. She had said he was creepy and was "Facebook stalking" her. She totally ripped him apart and now she's all giggly because he asked her out. I don't get it.

[KAPPAcino]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I have started back into writing. So in lieu of juicy dating stories to tell, I'm making up better ones. Just so I don't start to believe the fantasy is real, right?

I had forgotten how much I like to write and how easily it flows. The story I'm working on now is a fictionalized version of my vacation this spring. It's good for me to get it out, even if half of it is made up Sadly, there was no fabulous guy who swept me off my feet during that week in Central Europe.

You need some help. See if GC has a shrink available. I'm sure they do, seeing that GC is full of people in all kinds of professions.

[StealthMode]

Originally Posted by KAPPAcino

You need some help. See if GC has a shrink available. I'm sure they do, seeing that GC is full of people in all kinds of professions.

[KAPPAcino]

Originally Posted by StealthMode

Did you read her post???

[DubaiSis]

I said 1-I like to write and 2-I'm going to write a romance story/novella/novel. What part of that requires therapy?

I didn't realize you were designated authority on all that is normal and valid here.
I thought some people might like to hear that I'm turning my recovery period into something more fun. But hey, if you are so opposed to someone having an internal life, then you can just skip right past my posts. It seems you take everything I say out of context and as some sort of proposal OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. For dog's sake, I'm just talkin here.

And when I have a story worth sharing (and by the way, people LOVE my writing, especially when it gets to the juicy parts) I just will make sure you aren't included. You can pay full retail when I've completed the Great American Novel.

[DrPhil]

He was probably talking about the last sentence in your post.

I swear KAPPAcino is Iota Man's sock puppet. LOL. Iota Man made some GCers stop sharing their relationship experiences.

[DubaiSis]

Oh for god's sake. That's what the story is going to be about, and where real life diverges from fiction.

He may have that affect on me. I can't say one utterly benign thing without being accused of being either a man-hater or a crazy man-obsessed woman who can't live an independent life. At least if you're going to accuse me of something, pick a side and stick with it.

[DrPhil]

He's not the boss of you. Keep doing your thing.