Rush - What to NOT do or say - Page 6

sbhill2 · #76 08-02-2004, 11:18 PM

DO make eye contact with the rusher/rushee when talking. When I was rushing I was in a house talking to one of the sisters and she kept looking all around the room while I was talking to her. It made me feel like she didn't want me there. The same thing goes for the rushee.

Do go to all the parties you are invited to. Feelings change between parties. I know I wasn't crazy about DG after first round but I went back second round to give them another chance and I am so glad b/c I joined DG and have had the best time of my life! But like it was said earlier, if you really didn't like ABC at all then don't go back if you are going to miserable.

CASIGKAP · #77 08-02-2004, 11:24 PM

Also, don't forget that you want to forge new friendships regardless of what house you end up in. It's o.k. to not want to join a particular house but having friends at the houses is always a +

Lady-Z · #78 08-03-2004, 04:01 PM

I just wanted to say Thank you to all of the people who have posted on this Board. I am finding this information to be very helpful and calming. I want to rush on my campus and with all the researching I have done I've never even heard of Formal Recruitment. I not only need to do some more research I also need to stop being so Shy and start asking questions.

Thanks again.

KSUViolet06 · #79 01-08-2005, 02:32 PM

*bumping for spring PNM's*

neonsparkles · #80 01-10-2005, 04:54 AM

Important....
If you mess up (like spilling a drink all over the floor during first rounds

lol ) just laugh it off and try not to dwell on it. Everyone makes a mistake and you handling it with grace will leave a lasting impression on the sisters.

This actually happened to me during recruitment and I just played it off, but inside I just knew I would be cut. The next day I was so excited to see that those girls asked me back!

LauGh A Lot · #81 01-11-2005, 04:11 PM

but if you just laugh it off won't people think that's rude? i know that if someone spilt something in my house and just laughed it off.. i would be like what the heck? i don't know.. but my first instinct would be to apologize and help clean it up. is that not what i should do (if of coarse.. this happens to me during rush).

Little E · #82 01-11-2005, 04:20 PM

I think she ment yes, be helpful and apologetic if you spill, but don't get so tied up over it that you freak. Have some grace with your faux pax and move on.

33girl · #83 01-11-2005, 04:32 PM

Of course say you're sorry and offer to help clean it, but don't go running to the bathroom for a mop and start scrubbing on your hands and knees! They'll think you're psychotic.

Accidents happen, especially when food, drink and candles are involved. I'm sure doing crafts in the philanthropy round has brought up a whole new bunch of messy incidents.

ADPi Conniebama · #84 01-11-2005, 05:44 PM

OK something that I wish someone had told me when I was going through rush.

Everyone wants to talk about themselves or their house. Even if you don't think you are interested in that sorority at that time if you listen to what the "rusher" has to say maybe you would like that what you hear about that sorority or just that sorority girl you are talking to.

Also, a sorority is not going to give you a bid if you state through words and/or actions that you are not interested in that sorority. They would rather give a slot to a girl who is interested. SO, unless you are 100% sure that you ARE going to receive a bid from XYZ sorority that you have put on the top of your list (which no-one {NO ONE} is every 100% sure) then tell each and all sorority/ies that you are visiting that you are interested in learning more about that sorority or that you have liked everything you have heard so far.

I came from a real small chapter (chapter total when I was in school was ~65) If a girl came through rush that I knew wasnt interested in going my sorority then the selection process would assure that the uninterested rushee would not take the place of an interested rushee.

In other words, don't act like you are too good to visit each sorority (even out of nerviousness) because yes the girls within the sorority talk but I also remember talking with my roommate at the time who was a girl from another sorority about rush (not specifics mind you) but about funny things that happened or just interesting rush stories.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST my brother (KA) told me before I went through rush . . ."it is not important that the sorority you get into be the "best" as long as you graduate from the "best". Of course I think I did (I am sure everyone believes they graduated from the best sorority.)< didn't totally understand what he meant until I got a little older.

FSUZeta · #85 01-11-2005, 09:17 PM

i visited when i went thru recruitment would've profitted from reading this thread. she was so unenthusiastic that it was not funny. she didn't even try to carry on a conversation with me and halfway thru the party said,"oh, i see someone i know over there. i'm going to say hello."and she did. i was left totally alone for the rest of the party(i don't blame the rest of the sorority, we were a big group and everyone was busy with a guest), but you can all imagine how i felt. i was close to tears.luckily, i went to the rest of the houses that day and had a wonderful time and by the end of the day was glad that i kept at it. my only regret is that i didn't get an invitation from them for their second party, because i was going to decline!!

my point to potential new members is, you may meet a rude person and she may be rude to you. do not take it personally. she did not know me,so how could it be personal? i was invited back to all the houses but that one
(16 out of 17 is not bad), got the maximum number of invites for the remainder of recruitment and ended up in the house i wanted, so she had the problem, not me!this same house(the one with the rude member) also dropped a friend of mine, who had her heart set on them, and she ended up dropping out of rush, only to pledge another sorority in the spring. this young woman ended up being homecoming queen our senior year. so sororities can make mistakes. don't let it ruin your life.

neonsparkles · #86 01-11-2005, 11:07 PM

Oh yeah I didn't mean to just ignore the mess and expect them to clean it up! That would be rude! You should offer to help if you make a mistake (which they will probably not let you do!) and then just move on.
Also, I know it has been said before, but no matter how disinterested you are in a group you should always give them the benefit of the doubt and at least be a gracious guest while in their home. I know many girls who went through rush with preconceived notions and then ended up falling in love with a house they did not think they would consider. If they hadn't given those girls a chance they might not have found the sorority that was right for them.
And also... ignore the rumors you hear from the other girls going through. Everyone is nervous and as rush week goes on people get more stressed and all sorts of crazy things are said! We probably heard really outlandish things about every group (and none of them ended up being true) so try to ignore all the talk that goes on.

KSUViolet06 · #87 01-13-2005, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by neonsparkles
We probably heard really outlandish things about every group (and none of them ended up being true) so try to ignore all the talk that goes on.

CO-SIGN!!!! I've heard sooo many outlandish FALSE things about EVERY sorority! Ignore them because they are most likely untrue.

adpiucf · #88 01-13-2005, 04:54 PM

My best advice during recruitment is to remember that the entire week is a series of FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

Avoid controversial topics. You're not here to debate the 2nd ammendment, abortion or gay marriage. You're looking to join a women's social/community service organization. During the recruitment parties, you want to be learning about the organization and the women who are members, and you'll want them to learn about what would make you an asset to their organization.

You wouldn't start talking about the atrocities of genocide in Sudan in the middle of an interview for a job as a math teacher. Don't do it during a sorority recruitment interview either.

It's not that these things aren't important or worthy of discussion. But recruitment is not the appropriate forum for such things. You're trying to get the people rushing you to click with you. By introducing controversial topics, you risk alienating the recruiter who may not agree with you. It's also just not the proper forum to talk about those things.

So, during recruitment parties, don't worry about saving Mother Earth. Make a good first impression. A sorority is about fitting in and working with a team.

Save ideas for hugging trees and painting rainbows for upcoming philanthropy events, encourage a social studies group in the chapter, encourage members to get involved with SGA and campus activities that support those views. But not at a recruitment party, where the focus should be on why you want to join a sorority and how the sorority and you can meet each other's needs.

/Did that come off as remarkably shallow and insensitive?

KSUViolet06 · #89 01-13-2005, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf

/Did that come off as remarkably shallow and insensitive?

I don't think so. I wouldn't discuss anything during recruitment that I wouldn't discuss in a job interview. I suggest leaving out such topics simply because everyone has an opinion about them and it's impossible to tell whether yours has rubbed the rusher the wrong way or made them feel uncomfortable.

neonsparkles · #90 01-13-2005, 05:09 PM

/B]/Did that come off as remarkably shallow and insensitive?[/B]

Not at all. At some parties you only have a few minutes to talk to girls, and you want to spend the time learning about the sorority and finding out information to see whether or not you are a good fit (and vice versa). If you are passionate about SGA and you know the girl rushing you is also on SGA you could talk about that for a second (because it is nice to have a common bond for the girl to remember you by) but the time is really about learning about the sorority, not why the war in Iraq qas a good/bad idea!

Besides there are plenty of other worthy topics for conversation (such as what sisterhood means to you and the ideals of your organization) and I would hardly call them shallow! They are things people are just as passionate about, and appropriate for the setting to discuss.