long distance relationships

[Boodleboy322]

Distance is to love as wind is to fire. If the love is strong like a strong wind then the fire will keep burning and grow but if it's weak the fire can turn off. I know this from personal experience during my military (ANG/Reserve) travels to the sandbox and leaving my spouse behind. Best of luck.

[When Doves Cry]

5 years and going!
First it was 4 hours (I was at Iowa & he at Purdue (We met at Iowa then he transferred))
Then it was 1 hour (I graduated & moved back home to the Chicago suburbs & he was still at Purdue)
Now it's 2.5 hours (I'm still home, but he graduated & got a job at Caterpillar in Peoria, IL)

[honeychile]

My DH & I were in a long distance relationship for five years prior to getting engaged, and ten more being engaged before getting married. This past year has been interesting!

Even though we talked 4-5 times a day, I never realized how many hours a day he worked! He leaves about 9am, and the earliest he's come back is 7pm. I've checked, it's honest work - seems to be the curse of the SID job (he's even typing as I write this!). I didn't realize that he didn't know how to budget or never kept a savings account, while he was amazed that I had a savings account since I was 8 years old.

It's little things like that which you miss in a long distance relationship, but if we had finished the premarital counseling like we were supposed to, they would have been covered.

One pastor friend of mine had a wonderful expression: You Gotta Wanna. If you want something badly enough, you will do whatever it takes to get it. Both DH & I are totally committed to this marriage, and have taken many steps towards maintaining it. Sure, something could come up in the future that changes this, but it won't be from the lack of trying!

In short, IMHO, a long distance relationship CAN work, but you really do gotta wanna!

[joliebelle]

Originally Posted by honeychile

My DH & I were in a long distance relationship for five years prior to getting engaged, and ten more being engaged before getting married. This past year has been interesting!

That's an awfully long engagement! We have a 4 year engagement (a little over 2.5 down so far) and it's killling me. I admire people who have patience

[Kappamd]

Fiance and I will have been together 8 years this February, the past 3.5 of which have been in an LDR. We'll finally be done with the whole LDR situation in May, and are getting married in June. I am literally counting down the days. Kudos to anyone who has been in/is in a long-distance relationship. It is TOUGH and honeychile is right - you really do have to want to make it work.

[joliebelle]

^^ Definitely agree with that. May is our 7 year anniversary and we've been long distance the whole time; we'll be getting married a few weeks after our 8 year. We're a lot closer now (Chicago to South Bend) than when I started this thread, but it never gets easier. I just cannot wait to finally be living with my fiance.

[dreamseeker]

I was in an LDR for 6 years before moving in with him. Honeychile said it better than I could. :-)