Retro Recruitment.....with a different ending

[AlwaysSAI]

Has anyone ever posted a retro recruitment thread with a not-so-happy ending?? I would love to post mine!! It's funny how even after all those tears and all this time I still remember every little detail.

[susan314]

I think it would be interesting to see the story. With many of these retro recruitment threads, a lot of us made mistakes yet things still ended up working out okay. It might unintentionally bruise the ego of PNMs who didn't do anything "wrong," but still didn't end up with a good recruitment experience.

Although sad, a story where things didn't work out in the end (at least as far as NPC recruitment goes) might bring some balance to everything. Also, you have found happiness in your current situation and that might be a positive lesson to PNMs. (Rather than hearing NPC members say "oh, you can still have fun in college even if recruitment goes bad," they can see from someone who has actually been through it.)

[dukemama]

I would definitely be interested in hearing your story...because I can relate.

[AlwaysSAI]

My freshman year at UNC-Greensboro I remember walking down College Ave. on the first day of classes in the fall of 2004 and all the sororities and fraternities had booths set up. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I didn't want to rush this semester because I wanted to get settled into college life and have myself established before I joined a sorority. I was sure I was going to rush the following semester.

Greek like isn't too competative at UNCG. Greek life was banned until the mid 1980s. We have 5 NPC sororities chartered on campus, all of whom participated in recruitment. They are:

Alpha Delta Pi
Phi Mu
Alpha Chi Omega
Chi Omega
Sigma Sigma Sigma

That spring informal recruitment was held by each organization. I attended every party for Chi Omega, two for Phi Mu, and one for Tri-Sigma. I never heard anything back, but I wasn't too disappointed. I really just went out to see what sororities were like. My sister, who went through formal recruitment at Western Carolina U and joined Alpha Gamma Delta told me that informal recruitment is a lot different than formal recruitment. So, I decided to go through formal recruitment the following fall. This, of course, gave me ample time to prepare to make the best possible impression on each organization.

I spent that entire summer preparing. I researched every organization on my campus. I knew where, and what year each organization was founded. I knew each one's mascot, open motto, colors, philanthropy, original founding principles. I seriously, knew it all. I researched the placement statistics for my campus and knew that there was a very small chance that I would not be placed somewhere. I even estimated that each pledge class would be 15-20 members large if 100 girls went through and finished recruitment. I read every book I could find on sororities and did ample online research to prepare myself for the process.

My whole goal in becoming a part of greek life was that I wanted to leave a legacy somewhere. I didn't want to be one of those kids that spent four years in college and then just left. I wanted to leave something behind. I wanted to be apart of something larger than myself. A sorority seemed like the way to go.

[LOVEinZTA]

Wow, the whole researching thing - that's me in a nutshell! haha I'm still in shock when we get a NM in the fall that says "Wait, one of your colors isn't pink?" and I have to explain the difference between our philanthropy and our colors. I could have listed off tons of info on all of the chapters at the school at which I rushed - it's just a little obsession of mine

[tld221]

Originally Posted by LOVEinZTA

Wow, the whole researching thing - that's me in a nutshell! haha I'm still in shock when we get a NM in the fall that says "Wait, one of your colors isn't pink?" and I have to explain the difference between our philanthropy and our colors. I could have listed off tons of info on all of the chapters at the school at which I rushed - it's just a little obsession of mine

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by LOVEinZTA

Wow, the whole researching thing - that's me in a nutshell! haha I'm still in shock when we get a NM in the fall that says "Wait, one of your colors isn't pink?" and I have to explain the difference between our philanthropy and our colors. I could have listed off tons of info on all of the chapters at the school at which I rushed - it's just a little obsession of mine

Zeta,
While all of the research I did sparked an interest in the history of orgs for me, that's not why I did it. I did it because I wanted to present the best side of myself and I wanted each organization to know that I was committed to the process even before joining. I wanted to stand out and impress the women of each chapter and I thought that coming in informed of the National organization's activities would give me a chance and the sisters a chance to really get to know me, instead of going through the normal "This is an intro to Alpha Chi" thing. I wanted to stand out and I thought that was the way to do it.

[KSUViolet06]

This was a pretty good recruitment thread. It deserves a bump.

[AlwaysSAI]

I've been reflecting a lot this summer on my college experiences and my various avenues to greek membership. I thought it may be an appropriate time to update my story.

Before I do that, since the whole premise of my story was that it has a different ending, I find it most appropriate that I preface the update with a disclaimer. My collegiate experiences as a greek (though different from NPC) were through SAI and PhiSP. Membership in those organizations provided me with friendships, rituals, leadership experience, bigs/lils, formals, service projects, etc. Pretty much anything an NPC chapter would do. Membership in these organizations should not be discounted and the time I shared with them does not dim because of my newly acquired association.

Any PNM who finds themselves in a situation similar to mine or in an NPC group they didn't love during recruitment should remember: What you put into something is what you get out of it. While re-reading my story, I noticed that I posted not feeling a close connection with my SAI sisters. By the time I graduated, I'd become a vital member of the chapter and very close with a girl from my pledge class. Two years after my initiation, I was awarded the Sword of Honor which is given to members who have demonstrated exemplary service to the chapter and university community. SAIs are some of my cherished friends to this day. I'm a very active SAI alumna and was recently interviewed and quoted in an article about alumnae development for our national magazine.

Whatever situation you find yourself in, stick it out or push through it. You'll find it or it will find you. Being rejected from an NPC sorority did not end me and it won't end you. Life will go on and you'll find whatever it is you're meant to be a part of, that I can promise you. And, when acceptance does meet your doorstep, you'll hold it's privileges dearer than anyone it came to easily.

I didn't realize how long that post got. I'll post the update....soon.

[victoriana]

I'm dying to know where AGD fits into all of this

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by victoriana

I'm dying to know where AGD fits into all of this

Post #7 might give you a clue

[victoriana]

Hmmm... she's a legacy through her sister, whose chapter she got really close with. Other than AI, I really have no idea. AlwaysSAI, don't leave me hanging! Your story is so awesome, I wanna hear the update

[AlwaysSAI]

My collegiate years were a blur after finding a place in two great organizations on campus.

The senior re-dedication for both my organizations was on the SAME DAY. Phi Sig came and went and I was unexpectedly unemotional. It was strange. The SAI ceremony was a different story. I started bawling while we were standing in the hallway in line to clasp in. It was harder than I thought it would be to leave behind a chapter I had watched grow and flourish.

I graduated (just tenths of a point away from "with honors") and accepted a job in this teeny-tiny country town. The job market for teachers was terrible when I graduated, so I took the first job that I was offered and moved two hours away.

I dove into alumnae activities with SAI. I found out there was a group of women working to re-charter the alumnae chapter in my area. Within weeks of joining, I was asked to take on a leadership role within the group and have taken the lead on our efforts to recruit alumnae. Sadly, Phi Sig doesn't have a large alumni presence.

I started my job the following fall and my sister started her graduate studies at her alma mater.

[AlwaysSAI]

Shortly before classes and chapter activities resumed in the fall, my sister asked me for a list of my college activities with SAI and Phi Sig. After about a week, my sister and I had the following conversation. (There's not really a reason for including this, I just thought it was funny.)

Twin: "AlwaysSAI, you haven't sent me that list yet! I need it."
Me: "I'm done with 07-08 and I'm working on 08-09."
Twin: "Wait, you're separating it by year?"
Me: "Yeah. And organization."
Twin: "Did you really do that much.....?
Me: I started listing what I did....
She interrupted me and said: "Wow. OK. Just finish it and send it to me."

About a week or so later, I completed the list and emailed it to her. It was at this point, that she told me that she was presenting a recommendation to her collegiate chapter that I be initiated as an alumnae member. I questioned her on this. I wasn't sure this should be happening. What she said to me, I'll never forget. "AlwaysSAI, you are meant to be an Alpha Gam. You have lived up to Alpha Gam's most sacred teachings through your service to SAI and Phi Sig." She later told me, "You have done more work for your organizations than I've seen many members of greek row do. The chapters on your campus may not have seen you fit for membership, but the AGDs on my campus love you. And AGD deserves a member like you."

Later that night, she told me that the vote was affirmative and that the recommendation now had to be voted on by another group.

Now, here I was sure it wouldn't go any further. The AGDs on my sister's campus had known me for years. Of course, they voted for me. Every time I visited, they lobbied me to transfer. But, another group? There was no way it would pass.

In early November, I opened my mailbox upon returning home from work. In it was an envelope addressed to me from Alpha Gamma Delta HQ. I immediately called my sister before I even stepped away from the mailbox. "Um, sis,..." I said hesitantly, "I got a letter from Alpha Gam today." She squealed with excitement, "OPEN IT!"

And, the letter read (in part):
The alumnae members of Alpha Gamma Delta have recommended you for alumnae membership in our Fraternity. International Council is happy to extend this invitation to you.

It was official. I was going to become a member of Alpha Gamma Delta. I had 500 questions for my sister. Do I need to attend a pledging ceremony? Do I get a membership manual? Will you help me learn the history? When do I take the membership exam?

To my disappointment, none of those things were required for alumnae initiates. But, I was determined to learn them anyway. I was being honored as an alumnae initiate--this is something that should not be taken lightly.

[victoriana]

What a beautiful ending to your story, I'm so happy that you shared this