You have animals, he/she is allergic

*winter* · #1 12-17-2013, 07:51 PM

Yes...the Jewish guy from the other thread? Allergic to cats. And I have 6 who are by my side 24/7.

Ugh- dating. If it's not one thing, it's another.

Everything I own is covered with cat allergans, I'm sure. He wouldn't even be able to walk into my house. Which makes dating awkward.

Everything else about him is great- I am definetly going to go out with him and see how it goes. If he doesn't get anaphylactic.

Anyone ever been in this situation?

amIblue? · #2 12-17-2013, 08:39 PM

Yes. I am highly (life threateningly) allergic to cats, and it has never ever not once worked out when I dated a cat owner. I'm not saying it couldn't, but if the end game is a long term relationship, can you imagine living your life without a cat? Because you'd have to if cohabitation or marriage happens.

flirt5721 · #3 12-17-2013, 08:46 PM

I'm allergic to dog/cat/horse dander and we have 5 dogs. I have grown up with them and never knew I was allergic til a few years ago. We give the dogs bath, vacuum a lot, trained them not to get on the couch, and put them outside as long as possible.

I guess the best way to deal with the situation is talk about it and try to make it as comfortable for him as possible.

amIblue? · #4 12-17-2013, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flirt5721

I'm allergic to dog/cat/horse dander and we have 5 dogs. I have grown up with them and never knew I was allergic til a few years ago. We give the dogs bath, vacuum a lot, trained them not to get on the couch, and put them outside as long as possible.

I guess the best way to deal with the situation is talk about it and try to make it as comfortable for him as possible.

There is a wide range of allergic reactions, but since anaphylaxis was mentioned, I assumed she was talking about my kind of cat allergy. (speaking from personal experience, anaphylaxis sucks.) If its the kind of allergy where constant vacuuming and a Zyrtec make it manageable, that's a whole other ball of wax.

DrPhil · #5 12-17-2013, 08:53 PM

I hate cats and wouldn't date a man with cats. Most men of the African diaspora don't have cats so that was never an issue.

I love dogs except for small dogs. I believe that dogs shouldn't be permanent puppies. LOL. Anyway, I've dated men with dogs.

I say all of that to say that I wouldn't date a man whose body, car, or house smells like animals or have animal hair (or worse) covering them. Not only because it can make me sneeze and itch but because it makes me gag thinking about pets all over owners 24/7.

DubaiSis · #6 12-17-2013, 09:55 PM

I would address the allergy issue ASAP. It really could be a deal-breaker and better to find that out sooner than later. Since, as stated above, it might not be a big deal, you might as well find out. But I can't imagine being in a room with 5 cats. First, because I agree with DrPhil and second because I would be an itchy mess. I can tolerate most dogs by not allowing them to lick me or when I do pet them only do so with one hand and immediately go wash. And contrary to what people think, allergies are cumulative. He will not get used to it. He will only get more and more sick.

adpiucf · #7 12-17-2013, 10:55 PM

If a guy tells me it's him or the dog, the dog wins.

thetalady · #8 12-17-2013, 11:04 PM

Cat dander has a specific pH. A lot of people can be highly allergic to SOME cats, but not ALL cats. It makes no difference if it is a short haired cat or long haired cat. It depends on the pH of the cat's saliva. And of course, there are definitely people who are allergic to all cat dander, no matter the pH.

I am a professional pet sitter, so I am around many, many cats in my daily work. I also have several cats of my own. I have met 3 cats in my 20 year career that I was highly allergic to. I had to send the client to another pet sitter who was not sensitive to that cat.

Have you tried to see if your BF can tolerate being around your kitties?

amIblue? · #9 12-17-2013, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

If a guy tells me it's him or the dog, the dog wins.

Exactly! And can you imagine person A giving up a pet for person B? Every time they get in a disagreement: A says (or thinks) "I can't believe I gave up Fluffy or Fido for you."

DeltaBetaBaby · #10 12-17-2013, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue?

There is a wide range of allergic reactions, but since anaphylaxis was mentioned, I assumed she was talking about my kind of cat allergy. (speaking from personal experience, anaphylaxis sucks.) If its the kind of allergy where constant vacuuming and a Zyrtec make it manageable, that's a whole other ball of wax.

I crashed with a friend who had cats one night, and woke up around 4am barely breathing. Cats are a quick dealbreaker for me.

thetalady · #11 12-17-2013, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue?

Exactly! And can you imagine person A giving up a pet for person B? Every time they get in a disagreement: A says (or thinks) "I can't believe I gave up Fluffy or Fido for you."

HEE HEE HEE!! All I can hear in my head is Harry in SITC mocking Charlotte, saying "I gave up Christ for you!"

DrPhil · #12 12-17-2013, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue?

And can you imagine person A giving up a pet for person B?

Yes but not for someone you are merely dating.

Not every pet owner sees animals the same way. I like animals and particularly dogs but I ultimately see dogs the same way the law in many (most or all?) states seems them. Dogs are property--property that can be loved but property nonetheless. As with any property a dog can overstay its worth and welcome if an owner sees more costs than benefits. That includes if a dog requires more time, attention, and special consideration than the humans. That's why I don't own animals.

amIblue? · #13 12-17-2013, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I crashed with a friend who had cats one night, and woke up around 4am barely breathing. Cats are a quick dealbreaker for me.

To paraphrase Iota Guy, I feel you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady

HEE HEE HEE!! All I can hear in my head is Harry in SITC mocking Charlotte, saying "I gave up Christ for you!"

LOL!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Yes but not for someone you are merely dating.

Not every pet owner sees animals the same way. I like animals and particularly dogs but I ultimately see dogs the same way the law in many (most or all?) states seems them. Dogs are property--property that can be loved but property nonetheless. As with any property a dog can overstay its worth and welcome if an owner sees more costs than benefits. That includes if a dog requires more time, attention, and special consideration than the humans. That's why I don't own animals.

My comment was really in context of my prior comments relating to the goal of a long term relationship, and I have a feeling that anyone who owns six cats may not view them as property, but more like family. The fact that a thread was started on the topic at all gives credence to the OP seeing them as family. The fact that the OP has started two threads relating to the same guy gives me the inkling that she's interested in more than just casual dating. But I definitely agree with you that it's no big deal if two people are casually dating.

33girl · #14 12-18-2013, 12:36 AM

I'm going to sound like one of those 1950s movies and say that "keeping it casual" is really a pointless thing because you never know how your feelings will change, and you may end up in a difficult situation. Set your boundaries before you get there.

Pets/no pets are a dealbreaker, and if someone has zero trouble getting rid of their pet to placate you, that should be a dealbreaker too. The next lifetime commitment they make that they break may be to you.

DrPhil · #15 12-18-2013, 12:40 AM

Stephen King is brilliant with at least two movies that solidified how I feel about cats.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue?

My comment was really in context of my prior comments relating to the goal of a long term relationship, and I have a feeling that anyone who owns six cats may not view them as property, but more like family. The fact that a thread was started on the topic at all gives credence to the OP seeing them as family. The fact that the OP has started two threads relating to the same guy gives me the inkling that she's interested in more than just casual dating. But I definitely agree with you that it's no big deal if two people are casually dating.

Yeah I was just giving a disclaimer because I don't want people thinking they need to give away animals for the hot woman or man they met last week. I don't know about *winter*'s relationship but my point was that some people would give up their animals for a serious relationship/life partner. It depends on what your deal breakers are.

On a larger topic, I encourage people who spend a lot of time holding animals at work or at home to make sure they don't smell like animals. Sometimes people are so accustomed to something that they no longer notice it. I have a colleague who used to have cat fur in her hair, on her clothes, in her car, and on her office chair. I consider that gross and apparently so did her Life Partner so things had to change.