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  #1  
Old 03-31-2014, 07:39 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Thumbs up Rolling solo without being "alone" and "lonely"

I am a very social person, I like hanging out, but I have some introversion. I enjoy watching movies solo, going to the downtown district solo, and having dinner and drinks solo. I don't always wish to do these solo but on a long warm day like today, I took myself to the local hot spot and am treating myself to a seafood risotto and sangria. Heaven on Earth.

There is more research on people rolling solo by choice. Rolling solo doesn't mean you're alone and lonely. It doesn't mean you're not in a romantic relationship(s). It doesn't mean you don't have friends and people you could be hanging with.

GCers, do you ever roll solo?
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  #2  
Old 03-31-2014, 07:47 PM
AOII Angel AOII Angel is offline
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I love to do things by myself at times. When you are with others, you often have to compromise what you want to do. When you are solo, you can do exactly what YOU want to do. It's a refreshing change. I don't like being completely alone for long periods of time like I have been lately since my injury. Cooped up in a house with no human contact can get boring.
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  #3  
Old 03-31-2014, 07:52 PM
amIblue? amIblue? is offline
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I LOVE doing things by myself, and I have been that way my whole life. The most fun thing I ever did was to take a trip to NYC and explore the city all by myself. It takes a long time for loneliness to set in for me.
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  #4  
Old 03-31-2014, 07:57 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Unless I have work to do I don't like being at home solo for more than one day.

During the recent snow-in I was bored for almost 3 days. My significant other was snowed in a few miles away. We talked on the phone all night which was torture. He kept saying silly things like "my fireplace is lit and so am I (libations), wish you were here." About 2 days later he braved the ice and escaped his crib. Better him than me. I refused to drive until the local news stopped discussing ice accidents.

---/
Another thing about rolling solo is I sometimes am a silent observer. Sometimes I feel like talking to the people sitting at the bar with me but sometimes I don't. I don't feel like talking tonight. I just listen and chuckle. Today was a long and talkative day. Now I want to chill, eat, drink, and post on GC.

Last edited by DrPhil; 03-31-2014 at 08:20 PM.
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  #5  
Old 03-31-2014, 08:02 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amIblue? View Post
I LOVE doing things by myself, and I have been that way my whole life. The most fun thing I ever did was to take a trip to NYC and explore the city all by myself. It takes a long time for loneliness to set in for me.
I have a friend who spends most of her time traveling the world and backpacking across Europe solo. She will meet people there but travels solo. That terrifies us because we are concerned for her safety. We make sure she calls someone once a week.
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  #6  
Old 03-31-2014, 08:26 PM
maconmagnolia maconmagnolia is offline
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I LOVE being by myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend and amazing friends, but I love to do things on my own. Especially when I have certain things I want to do, like if I'm going to the mall to buy one thing. I don't wanna explore with others - I wanna get in, get out, on my own time. I'm counting down the days until I don't have to share a room anymore and get my own. I'm going to just lay down in bed and bask in being by myself.
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  #7  
Old 03-31-2014, 08:31 PM
Sciencewoman Sciencewoman is offline
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I find it very difficult to eat alone in a restaurant...I only do this when I absolutely have to. It just feels awkward to me, although I think it would be better if I had a laptop/tablet/book. But not much.
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  #8  
Old 03-31-2014, 08:39 PM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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All the time! I am told I am "pathologically private"; my mother told me when I was just a wee thing "you don't need anybody, do you?" Truly don't get lonely. I understand it, friends have talked about it; I just don't feel that feeling. Never bored, never short of things to do. People tire me out. I get energy from being alone.

Shrug. I have always been comfortable in my own skin. My friends are terrific, and I have a lot of social outlets. Sometimes I think I have too many social things on my plate. If I want to see a movie, or go to a ball game, or eat a particular food, or hear a particular singer in concert, I'm gonna do it.

Sometimes you can get an awesome seat when you roll solo.
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  #9  
Old 03-31-2014, 08:47 PM
navane navane is offline
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I love being alone as well. Sure, I'm a well-adjusted person with friends and hobbies; but, I tend to be more on the independent side. With my new job, I am finally able to afford a 1-bedroom apartment and I love having my own space. I also have no problem going to a museum or dinner alone. I could be alone for days and not bat an eye.

That said, I feel that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I don't have a serious romantic relationship and I sometimes wonder if having a man in my life would be a wonderful addition or a burden. Though, since I am content with how things are and I have friends, I don't tend to feel "lonely" too often.
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  #10  
Old 03-31-2014, 08:50 PM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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I don't usually like eating by myself, but having a drink at the bar isn't an issue.

I also enjoy watching movies by myself, both at home and at the theater. No discussing and compromising on what to watch!

A few years ago, I was working outside of Orlando, and I have a friend who lives in the area and actually works at Disney. My boss didn't want to stick around for the weekend, so she flew back home to return on Monday. I told my friend that I could meet up with her on Sunday, but I took Saturday for myself.

Best. idea. ever.

I went to MGM Studios all on my own. I went on the rides that I wanted to go on - including the Tower of Terror 5+ times - and I went on three times as many rides as I would have if I was with another person. When you're all by yourself, you're the seat filler! I was asked to skip to the front of the line so many times. And it was kind of entertaining for me to know that I was the one random stranger in some of those families' pictures
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Last edited by ASTalumna06; 03-31-2014 at 08:53 PM.
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  #11  
Old 03-31-2014, 08:59 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Anyone care to share why eating solo bothers you? Is it the need to be doing something like talking to someone, watching the restaurant TV, or on your phone or laptop?

I noticed that when I don't bring my phone with me or there is no restaurant TV in my vicinity, the bartender or server (if I don't sit at the bar) wants to talk more. LOL. I know I'm solo. It is intentional.
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  #12  
Old 03-31-2014, 09:07 PM
IrishLake IrishLake is offline
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I get lonely on occasion. My husband is gone far too much for work, and too much time around my offspring with no other adult interaction makes for a crazy Irish lady. Sometimes it's just me and the kids from a Friday morning until a Monday evening. With that said, I LOVE going out by myself. I love eating alone. No one mooching food off my plate. No one demanding my attention. I can eat my food while it's hot and without having to cut up a plate of someone elses food first. I also enjoy solo movies.

For the first 5 years of my career, I traveled a lot. I once spent 8 weeks living in a hotel in Philly. I explored the city alone and learned to love eating alone. Just me and a book, or the bartender and a TV. It was weird at first. Now I miss it. I maybe get to go out an enjoy a nice meal alone once every few months or so.
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  #13  
Old 03-31-2014, 09:24 PM
pinksequins pinksequins is offline
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Dining solo. I enjoy dining solo at restaurants with good food and atmosphere --- that seafood risotto and wine sounds like a winner. I love going out to eat with friends too and having great conversations. I also really like the European convention of dining with strangers -- it is clearly just a nice dinner conversation, nothing more. Sometimes I just want to people watch or converse with the waitstaff or simply collect my own thoughts or read or look at the ocean/landscape.
Dining alone can be restful or an adventure.

I only dislike eating bad food or being in a bad establishment. I feel awkward only if I am in a very parochial place or a bar. For example, you won't find me dining alone at a roadhouse.

I enjoy exploring alone, though I do like the sense of securityy of someone knowing my general whereabouts. I often wish to travel differently from my friends and family. For example, a good friend loves cruises. I. Do. Not. I love riding the train. Some of my family does not. I love walking; my cruise friend does not. In sum, if I wait until all of the stars are aligned, I won't be doing much more than the big sit.

Last edited by pinksequins; 03-31-2014 at 09:29 PM. Reason: typo
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  #14  
Old 03-31-2014, 09:44 PM
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honeychile honeychile is offline
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The one thing I won't do solo is go to a bar, married or not. I'm quite satisfied with my own company, plus I always have a book with me. My DH doesn't get home until VERY late at times, so I can either sulk at home, go out with friends, or go out by myself.

Being alone as opposed to being lonely is a choice. I choose to be happy.
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  #15  
Old 03-31-2014, 09:47 PM
jenidallas jenidallas is offline
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Alone and lonely are not the same thing.

I spend a lot of time alone - I live alone and I travel 200+ days a year, often by myself. I enjoy going to eat by myself sometimes (where I can eat at my own pace - lingering over my drink or wrapping up quickly to get to my next spot). But I wouldn't call myself lonely - I have a great social, volunteer, and professional life full of interesting people who I make conscious decisions to spend time with.

I think solo time makes me a more complete and fulfilled person.
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