Do you still attend formals?

annice22 · #1 03-28-2005, 07:56 PM

Alumni

Do you still attend your sorority/fraternity's formal/semi-formal?
My sorority is having formal next Saturday and I am really looking forward to attending. I can't wait to meet the new girls and older alumni.

FSS

#2 03-28-2005, 08:37 PM

The collegians always invite the alums to their Christmas Formal and Spring RoseBall and I've been to every one of them since becoming an alumna, whether it be as a chaperone or as a guest. We're even allowed to bring guests of our own too!!!

LyonLuv · #3 03-28-2005, 09:32 PM

Alumi aren't allowed to go to anything collegiate related after they graduate

It's really sad.

33girl · #4 03-29-2005, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LyonLuv
Alumi aren't allowed to go to anything collegiate related after they graduate It's really sad.

That doesn't sound right at all, and very counterproductive to the idea of sisterhood as a lifetime commitment. Have you checked with your national HQ on this?

#5 03-29-2005, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LyonLuv
Alumi aren't allowed to go to anything collegiate related after they graduate It's really sad.

Is this just for formals or are alums prohibited from helping out with recruitment also? Recruitment's collegiate-related.

Ditto what 33 said, you should really check your HQ's official policy. If that were true for AGD, I'd be devastated. It's like telling your members that sisterhood ends at graduation.

Taualumna · #6 03-29-2005, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LyonLuv
Alumi aren't allowed to go to anything collegiate related after they graduate It's really sad.

That sounds really weird. So your GLO won't allow alumnae living in house? There are currently three (I THINK it's three, but it could be two) alumnae living in Tau chapter right now. They all help out with the collegians in one way or another.

sairose · #7 03-29-2005, 12:48 AM

Yes, in fact alums are encouraged to come to ours. We always have alums at ours...at least 5 will be at our formal in April.

LyonLuv · #8 03-29-2005, 01:00 AM

Yeah, Alumni are not allowed at any sort of formal/semi formal or meetings. They aren't allowed to drink with us either. It's a national rule that we've checked and rechecked over and over because we would really love if we could be "sister" like with them, ya know? They are allowed at recruitment. I think the reason for them not being able to participate in so much at the collegiate level is so #1 the chapter can grow with it's new members and #2 they will be more involved in offical alumni stuff. *shrugs*

As for the house thing, we don't have a house so i have no clue. maybe another Phi Mu could answer that?

navane · #9 03-29-2005, 02:14 AM

I haven't been invited yet, but I would love to attend formal. I think that would be great fun!

.....Kelly

Glitter650 · #10 03-29-2005, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LyonLuv
Yeah, Alumni are not allowed at any sort of formal/semi formal or meetings. They aren't allowed to drink with us either. It's a national rule that we've checked and rechecked over and over because we would really love if we could be "sister" like with them, ya know? They are allowed at recruitment. I think the reason for them not being able to participate in so much at the collegiate level is so #1 the chapter can grow with it's new members and #2 they will be more involved in offical alumni stuff. *shrugs*

As for the house thing, we don't have a house so i have no clue. maybe another Phi Mu could answer that?

So like, your advisors can't even attend your meetings ??? That seems really odd to me. I will be going to my formal. They even give out out an award for most active alumnae, and the advisory board gives out a few awards to the actives, so it's kinda a nice event for everyone to get together and be recognized because it really takes actives and alum to make a chapter run smoothly.

litlbear1072 · #11 03-29-2005, 08:57 AM

I'm not sure what the rule is on this for Gamma Phi Beta but it seems odd that alums would not be allowed to attend so many collegiate events. I know there are plenty of threads about alumnae not being very involved with the collegiate chapters. Then here you have a great example of how many of us would love to participate and get to know the collegians on a bit more of a social level and they aren't allowed?

adpiucf · #12 03-29-2005, 10:17 AM

In my experience, unless invited alumnae do not attend social functions. Formals cost money, and unless X number of alumnae have been counted, then there is a cost the chapter did not anticipate.

Similiarly, unless an alumna has a report to give or has been invited to attend, only collegiate members and advisers attend chapter meeting.

In the past, there were challenges in my chapter with recent alumnae coming back to chapter meetings, recruitment, events, etc., and they caused issues. So to keep things running smoothly, there are designated events where alumnae and collegians mix, and events which are collegians (and advisers-only) with few exceptions.

texas*princess · #13 03-29-2005, 10:41 AM

My boyfriend's LXA chapter always invites their alumni to attend formal - no matter how old or young the alumni are. They are also allowed to bring guests. I personally like this b/c I love going w/ him to see our old friends & his old brothers.

Their chapter has a great sense of brotherhood... they welcome their alumni to attend a bunch of events. The chapter's alumni association is very strong and very involved in helping out the chapter (even though it is a chapter at a smaller school) and the guys love having their alumni over for homecoming and their spring formal. The thing I admire most about their chapter is that they always strive to keep their alumni involved.

My chapter on the other hand is the complete opposite as far as inviting alumnae. It could possibly be b/c I'm a new alum so I don't really know how things have worked or how they work on a national level, but in my experience, alums (except chapter advisors) were *not* allowed to attend formal, or even regular meetings during the "business" part of the meeting, and only allowed in as guests. Honestly, it caught me off guard, but like I said, I don't know if ADPi has any policies regarding alums and certain chapter events.

Another thing I liked about my boyfriend's LXA chapter is that they make sure to include their alumni for really important things like ritual by inviting them to attend. Even though my boyfriend and some of his brothers live far from the chapter now, if they can make the trip, they normally would. There was one alum that has probably been to their ritual at least 50 times with that one chapter. I've only seen mine a few times when I was in college. But like I said, I'm a newer alum, so I don't really know yet what the "guidelines" are for that with my home chapter. It just seems like alums are only invited to Homecoming & Founder's Day.

annice22 · #14 03-29-2005, 10:42 AM

My chapter's alumni relations may not be the best but the alumni can pretty much attend any event. Even though we are not because of various things.

That would really suck if I was not able to attend formal or anything that I was able to go to.

33girl · #15 03-29-2005, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
In my experience, unless invited alumnae do not attend social functions. Formals cost money, and unless X number of alumnae have been counted, then there is a cost the chapter did not anticipate.

Wouldn't they just let the chapter know if they were coming and pay for formal like everyone else? What's the difference? You pay the hotel (or wherever you're having it) and buy favors for whatever the amount of people is that are coming to the formal.

As far as drinking, that should have nothing to do with formal. Most formals now are under a third party vendor. It is their responsibility, not the sorority's. And as far as "drinking with" the chapter...theoretically the chapter shouldn't be drinking at all as a chapter, so if you're going to be breaking rules anyway, might as well invite the alums. **shrug**

I just think it's really sad that "risk management" takes precedence over making alums feel welcome.

As far as meetings are concerned, if there are SOME alums that are trying to run things or speaking out of turn in meetings...deal with them as individuals. Don't make all the alums feel unwanted and spurned.