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Sorority Recruitment Recruitment event and bid day ideas, membership retention, publicity, recruitment policies, etc.


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  #1  
Old 07-19-2018, 09:54 AM
Theta1234 Theta1234 is offline
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Moms on Bid Day

Ok, please help me understand what moms do on Bid Day. When I rushed this wasn’t a thing at my school. My daughter’s school is 9 hours away. Due to some weird circumstances, I will be there on Thurs-Sun and then again on Tues-Thurs (my sister an niece are flying in from Canada and they want to see her.). To be there at Bid Day, it would mean driving 9 hours home on Thurs and turning around on Fri to drive back. It also would mean missing out on the family reunion in the mountains with my sister’s family and everyone else who is flying in from across the country.

I’m torn. What role do moms really play? Will it be a big deal if I am not there? I keep telling myself that if her legacy bids her I will be there for initiation—a much bigger deal in my mind.

Ok, I am so behind the times here. How alone will my daughter be at an SEC school without her momma there on Bid Day? Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 07-19-2018, 10:28 AM
HQWest HQWest is offline
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Originally Posted by Theta1234 View Post
Ok, please help me understand what moms do on Bid Day. When I rushed this wasn’t a thing at my school. My daughter’s school is 9 hours away. Due to some weird circumstances, I will be there on Thurs-Sun and then again on Tues-Thurs (my sister an niece are flying in from Canada and they want to see her.). To be there at Bid Day, it would mean driving 9 hours home on Thurs and turning around on Fri to drive back. It also would mean missing out on the family reunion in the mountains with my sister’s family and everyone else who is flying in from across the country.

I’m torn. What role do moms really play? Will it be a big deal if I am not there? I keep telling myself that if her legacy bids her I will be there for initiation—a much bigger deal in my mind.

Ok, I am so behind the times here. How alone will my daughter be at an SEC school without her momma there on Bid Day? Thanks!
You might want to quietly ask your friends about which SEC school she is going to, because it does vary.

From what I have seen - Moms are there for moral support during the week. Depending on your LO this can be a thing on pref day. You know her better than any of us - but how would she feel if she did or did not love your legacy?

On Bid Day it is a big party. There might be a slide show, information about the chapter, pictures, presents, cake, and food. At some chapters - in particular those with lots of legacies, there might be a lot of moms. At some maybe only a dozen or so. No one should feel "left out" because everyone will have older girls there to make them feel welcome.

In the evening or the next day they would have a chapter retreat or meet and greet events with the other new members. There would not be any moms there.

I would think that it would be a much bigger deal to surprise her at initiation if she follows her legacy or to send her presents if she joins another group. That is just what I have observed.
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  #3  
Old 07-19-2018, 11:31 AM
clemsongirl clemsongirl is offline
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I can't speak to my mom being at bid day because I didn't attend an SEC school, but my mom surprised me at initiation and I burst into tears because she'd told me she wasn't coming and then popped up in the middle of it. It was easily one of the happiest moments of my life and much more special than her being there at bid day would have been. I hope if your daughter joins her legacy chapter you can do that for her!
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  #4  
Old 07-19-2018, 12:08 PM
AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Can't speak for any SEC stuff BUT I will speak to Initiation. Please, IF she does pledge Theta, be there for Initiation and you and I both know why :-) AAMOF I bet every mom here would say the same thing, regardless of the letters. Initiation is magical and memorable for all of us (that's my opinion).

I'm here for you. We all are. I love her spirit, based on your other posts. She would have fit right in at my chapter but I'm not from the SEC, I'm a CA girl living in an AZ world!
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  #5  
Old 07-19-2018, 01:30 PM
Theta1234 Theta1234 is offline
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HQ West, Thank you so much for your sweet words. I wrote out a long response, but something went wonky in the upload process and it is gone. LSS, I have come to peace with the fact that my daughter may not be a Theta. I had the freedom to choose my own tribe and she should have that as well. Additionally, I know it is a numbers game. When many of us went through rush (as it was called at the time) legacy status carried a lot of weight simply because there were not that many legacies. However, Greek life exploded during the 80s, 90s and 2000s so there are a bazillion legacies running around now. You can’t blame a chapter for preserving its culture rather than taking all its legacies.

That being said, AZTheta, I have literally been dreaming about initiation since the moment I found out I was having a daughter. Throughout her life there have been special pieces of Theta injected into every major moment of her life. Now, no one knows about them, but if she becomes a Theta, it will be so much fun after initiation to show her through the pictures that she truly is a life long Theta. Now, before you think I am really off my rocker—which is possible, but I prefer hammocks at the moment—I deliberately chose not to stack the deck in her favor for recruitment. I wrote her rec and asked a few people who really knew her to write Letters of Support. However, I chose to only ask alums that did not hold titles within Theta. That way she can truly say that the girls chose her, not that they were pressured into extending her a bid. In all honestly, in terms of “status” her recs and LOS for Kappa and Pi Phi came from some real heavy hitters.

This will be interesting. Thank you so much for your advice. I’ve tried to be a little vague on things so I could give a recruitment story—if my daughter keeps me updated.
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  #6  
Old 07-19-2018, 03:12 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Originally Posted by Theta1234 View Post
Ok, please help me understand what moms do on Bid Day. When I rushed this wasn’t a thing at my school. My daughter’s school is 9 hours away. Due to some weird circumstances, I will be there on Thurs-Sun and then again on Tues-Thurs (my sister an niece are flying in from Canada and they want to see her.). To be there at Bid Day, it would mean driving 9 hours home on Thurs and turning around on Fri to drive back. It also would mean missing out on the family reunion in the mountains with my sister’s family and everyone else who is flying in from across the country.

I’m torn. What role do moms really play? Will it be a big deal if I am not there? I keep telling myself that if her legacy bids her I will be there for initiation—a much bigger deal in my mind.

Ok, I am so behind the times here. How alone will my daughter be at an SEC school without her momma there on Bid Day? Thanks!
I think it depends on her school. I'm connected to Ole Miss so most moms (and dads) from Mississippi and many surrounding states will show up. I do know some parents who flew in for Bid Day (like a friend who did that at Alabama) but I think that's rare.

As for what Ole Miss does on Bid Day, the houses all have big parties with a theme. Parents and families have to wear "bracelet bands" to be within the "catchment area" where girls will run to their houses. Also, some schools (like Ole Miss) are big on gifts - the moms send gifts during the week as "support" for rush and then the top shops in Oxford make up "Bid Baskets" that parents send their daughters on Bid Day.

Last edited by NYCMS; 07-19-2018 at 09:11 PM.
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  #7  
Old 07-19-2018, 07:18 PM
AnchorAlumna AnchorAlumna is offline
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Hardly any moms were there in my day, but it's become a huge deal at Alabama and Ole Miss.
Personally, I think it's all kinds of stupid. You don't see your daughter but a few minutes - they're eager to be with their new friends and will be going off on retreat right away. If you live close enough, that's one thing, but people are buying plane tickets and hotel rooms.
The girls usually get some gifts from the sorority - shirts, bags, stuff - and the parents get a bill.
Even the "bid day packages" are ridiculous - $50 for junk with letters. I tell moms to save their money and buy a gift for a more meaningful time - initiation. And what if the kid decides she hates sorority life and quits? You're out that money.
All part of the recruitment week hysteria!
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  #8  
Old 07-19-2018, 07:55 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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[QUOTE=AnchorAlumna;2457939]Hardly any moms were there in my day, but it's become a huge deal at Alabama and Ole Miss.
Personally, I think it's all kinds of stupid. You don't see your daughter but a few minutes - they're eager to be with their new friends and will be going off on retreat right away. If you live close enough, that's one thing, but people are buying plane tickets and hotel rooms.
The girls usually get some gifts from the sorority - shirts, bags, stuff - and the parents get a bill.
Even the "bid day packages" are ridiculous - $50 for junk with letters. I tell moms to save their money and buy a gift for a more meaningful time - initiation. And what if the kid decides she hates sorority life and quits? You're out that money.
All part of the recruitment week hysteria![/QUOTE/]

Yes! When my daughter pledged ZTA, I purposely chose not to go. I wanted her to be with her new sisters and not feel obligated to spend time with me. I sent her some flowers.

I did attend initiation, and pinned my badge on her. I gave her a crown link bracelet that I had received at my initiation and took her and her big sisters( quota was lower her freshman year) out to lunch the next day.
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  #9  
Old 07-19-2018, 10:08 PM
Theta1234 Theta1234 is offline
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FSUZeta, I think we are on the same wavelength. I was thinking that a mom would just interrupt with the sister bonding. Since I will be there two days before bid day, I thought I would leave her three envelopes/packages. As I will be there on sisterhood day, I think I may have a feel for how things are going.

If she is still in the mix for Theta I will have a sweet note along with my favorite oversized letter sweatshirt that has been hidden in the drawer for many a year--she loves unique "vintage" things. If she does not go Theta, I will have another note congratulating her on being her own person and send a gift via the local greek store. If she decides not to bid--or she is dropped--I will have a third letter affirming who she is as a person. I figure this way she can know she is loved, but she won't be divided on that day.

I love all you grounded women--and men. Thank you for the advice. Now I need to go and dig through my jewelry box to see what special pieces I might have hidden in there...
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  #10  
Old 07-19-2018, 10:12 PM
ggforever ggforever is offline
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It totally depends upon the school. My daughter went to Ole Miss and I was shocked that entire families were there for bid day. I had no intention to attend but when we dropped her off, that is all the mom's talked about, so I did fly out for the big day. However, you see very little of your daughter. They are so excited to be with their new sisters. I work with another chapter in the SEC and very rarely do you see a mother there on bid day.
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  #11  
Old 07-19-2018, 11:39 PM
aephi alum aephi alum is offline
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Wow. Even though I've been active here for close to two decades (!) it still strikes me how different the SEC is from the Northeast. When I rushed (in the Northeast), there wasn't a mother in sight.

My school did have a special freshman parents' weekend after rush but before classes started, in addition to the normal parents' weekend in October. Most GLOs took the opportunity to have an event for the parents - for example, my sorority had a brunch and invited all the new members' parents.

If I had a daughter rushing at an SEC school so far from home ... I'd say, don't drive yourself nuts (literally and figuratively - 18 hours behind the wheel is no fun). Let her update you. If she joins Theta, great - make plans to be there for her initiation. If she joins another sorority, send her something nice to congratulate her, and take her out for dinner next time you visit her. If she does not end up joining a sorority, take her out for dinner anyway.

BTW, I was a bit confused about something you posted: "If she is still in the mix for Theta I will have a sweet note along with my favorite oversized letter sweatshirt". I'm under the understanding that only initiated sisters may wear letters? (AEPhi has the same rule.)
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  #12  
Old 07-20-2018, 01:02 AM
Theta1234 Theta1234 is offline
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BTW, I was a bit confused about something you posted: "If she is still in the mix for Theta I will have a sweet note along with my favorite oversized letter sweatshirt". I'm under the understanding that only initiated sisters may wear letters? (AEPhi has the same rule.)[/QUOTE]

You are correct! The sweatshirt is an inside joke between my daughter and I. Even though she couldn’t wear it, she would know the meaning and that way I could give her a piece of jewlery on initiation day.

I need to stop planning all of this out. Who knows what will happen...
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  #13  
Old 07-20-2018, 01:28 AM
navane navane is offline
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Also, you could attend your family reunion. Then, when/if she receives a bid, she can call in on Facetime or Skype and make the big announcement so that the whole family can cheer and celebrate with her.
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  #14  
Old 07-20-2018, 10:15 AM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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I'm with those of you who think the huge hoop-la and endless gifts at some SEC schools are over the top. Seems like all the sororities buy the same things for Bid Day - costumes, glitter, paint, etc. - from some company likely making a fortune off them. And then the themed parties? The pics I've seen from friends whose daughters pledged there that could rival anything Martha Stewart does!

I'm sure I sound like an old fogey but when I pledged (1978) we got a cute t-shirt and my first Big Sister had made me a sweet card with a special note and we did a cookout at the house; I think the following night (the weekly Formal Dinner) we had a ceremony where we received our "pledge ribbons" to wear. I would have died if my parents had shown up because it was "my day" to share with my sisters and as someone else wrote, the parents only see the girls for so little time before they go off with their new sisters.

I guess none of this is a surprise since nowadays girls at schools like Ole Miss have "designer dorm rooms" that have made national news...again, like something out of a design magazine. There's even a woman in a Mississippi town who specializes in doing them and she stays full busy every summer. My friend's daughter (from Colorado) who went to OM was in a bit of shock when she saw them, LOL.

All that is to say to Theta1234 I think you'll be fine not being there on Bid Day. Not all SEC schools go to the level that places like Alabama and Ole Miss do and even if TAMU does, I know plenty of girls at these other schools whose parents were not there.

Last edited by NYCMS; 07-20-2018 at 10:35 AM.
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  #15  
Old 07-23-2018, 11:17 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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Originally Posted by Theta1234 View Post
Ok, please help me understand what moms do on Bid Day. When I rushed this wasn’t a thing at my school. My daughter’s school is 9 hours away. Due to some weird circumstances, I will be there on Thurs-Sun and then again on Tues-Thurs (my sister an niece are flying in from Canada and they want to see her.). To be there at Bid Day, it would mean driving 9 hours home on Thurs and turning around on Fri to drive back. It also would mean missing out on the family reunion in the mountains with my sister’s family and everyone else who is flying in from across the country.

I’m torn. What role do moms really play? Will it be a big deal if I am not there? I keep telling myself that if her legacy bids her I will be there for initiation—a much bigger deal in my mind.

Ok, I am so behind the times here. How alone will my daughter be at an SEC school without her momma there on Bid Day? Thanks!
I’m quite familiar with your daughter’s campus (wink, wink!) and it is NOTHING like Ole Miss or other SEC schools. In my pledge class, maybe a few of the legacies’ moms were there just to give them a quick hug and take a picture but 99% of the moms will not be there. Go to your family reunion and pre-order a bid day basket from Greek Boutique in CS. They’ll have the bid list and will send her goodies to the house on Bid Day.

Initiation is a much bigger deal for legacies. You’ll want to be there for that, and also New Member Presentation.


Also, just as an aside, you might want to caution your nieces that DD May or may not be up for seeing them. If her week is going great, she might appreciate the company & distraction, but if it’s not, she might not be in the mood for socializing. Rush is emotional and every girl has a different experience.
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