Second Thoughts... - Page 2

Billy Optimist · #16 03-19-2001, 01:53 PM

this is kinda late, and since i'm not greek (yet!) maybe I don't have a linceance to talk, but I think it would be okay to have friends or aquaintences or whatever you call people that say whats up to you in other fraternties. I say whats up to people i don't even know sometimes. Someone please correct me if i am way off in left feild on this one, but thing of the whole greek system like an extended family. Your fraterty brothers are like your immediate family, and the others maybe like cousins, of depending and varying distance from your self. Just because you love your brothers doesn't mean you should not have respect or some feeling for cousins.

Bro2B · #17 03-21-2001, 11:39 AM

It's not just about respecting your "brothers and cousins" Billy. Ideally you should show every single person you encounter with respect, whether Greek or not, until they give you a reason not to.

This doesn't mean you say Hi to every single person you are walking past because that would be draining on you...

josh8o · #18 03-22-2001, 03:03 PM

Ok, here's the deal...
My spring break was good. I got some good advice from all of you (Thanks) and from some of my friends back home. I had decided to stay with KA and see what happens. I figured that if I still felt the same way in my gut after a little bit longer then I would quit. Then the night before I left to come back to school I found an old post from January in the Greek Life area titled "Kappa Alpha Order." Reading it gave me some shocking information.... I had no clue that people thought of KA as a raciest fraternity. I know that it is only at some of the schools, but it is very disturbing. The KA chapter at my school is nothing like this, therefore I chose to ignore it. Then on my flight back to school I noticed some old man look at my pledge pin, then look away.... Regardless of what he was thinking, it got me to thinking. By wearing a KA pin, and in the future letters, I would not only be representing the KA chapter at my school, but the KA organization as a whole. I do not want to represent a raciest fraternity in any way shape or form. I intend to put being in a fraternity on scholarship applications, and job applications in the future. I don't want someone to see KA on there who knows of the "problem KA's." At that point I knew that I needed to quit. I gave my pin back on Monday. I was sad at first-I was no longer in the Greek system. But I felt that the internal conflict and stress over what I should do was over. No regrets this time. I have decided to lay low and take the rest of the semester as it comes. In the fall I'll go through again, and maybe the next time I log on here I will be a Phi Psi!!!
Thanks everyone, it's been real!
Josh

AOX81 · #19 03-22-2001, 04:02 PM

Josh,

I hope everything works out for you!

Amy

somethinstupid · #20 04-08-2001, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by josh8o:
I just transferred to a new school this semester and decided to rush. I ended up getting bids from the top two fraternities I wanted them from, Kappa Alpha Order, and Phi Kappa Psi. Picking between the two was one of the hardest decisions I had to make while at a new school where I knew a total of zero people, and in a new city. I ended up picking KA. It has been four weeks since rush, and for the past weeks I have been having second thoughts. It started out every time I would see a Phi Psi on campus- I would feel guilty every time they would say "hi Josh," or ask how I was doing. Then I started getting "what ifs..." I would wonder what they were doing, how they were, what their pledge class is like. it was not until last week that I really started to regret not joining Phi Psi. I am home on spring break now, and taking this week away from school to figure out what I want, and what would be best for me.
*Here is where I need your help:
Is it normal to have second thoughts about the fraternity you join?

Usually not, but I did and two of my friends did.

Should I quit KA for Phi Psi?

What should I do... I really need some advice from other Greeks who do not know me or my school!!
Email me, or reply to my post!

KillarneyRose · #21 04-18-2001, 05:05 PM

Josh,
Ultimately you have to do what your heart tells you to do, but I think you should give KA a chance!

dzrose93 · #22 04-18-2001, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by josh8o:
Ok, here's the deal...
I noticed some old man look at my pledge pin, then look away.... Regardless of what he was thinking, it got me to thinking. By wearing a KA pin, and in the future letters, I would not only be representing the KA chapter at my school, but the KA organization as a whole. I do not want to represent a raciest fraternity in any way shape or form. I intend to put being in a fraternity on scholarship applications, and job applications in the future.

I'm sorry, but I think to drop out of KA because of what people MIGHT think is kind of sad. My brother is a KA, and is the most fair-minded person I know. I personally know dozens of KA's from several different chapters, and I have yet to see any of them as being racist.

The fact that you were torn between KA and another fraternity is one thing. But to drop KA because of a thread on GreekChat is another entirely. I believe that your mind was probably made up that you would rather be somewhere else and the racism issue gave you a reason to leave.

Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, but that's how I see it. No offense intended. It just really makes me mad whenever I hear people equate racism with Kappa Alpha. The fact that a famous Confederate soldier, Robert E. Lee, is honored as the fraternity's spiritual leader does not make every KA brother a racist.

***dzrose93 getting off her soapbox***

josh8o · #23 04-18-2001, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzrose93:
I'm sorry, but I think to drop out of KA because of what people MIGHT think is kind of sad. My brother is a KA, and is the most fair-minded person I know. I personally know dozens of KA's from several different chapters, and I have yet to see any of them as being racist.

The fact that you were torn between KA and another fraternity is one thing. But to drop KA because of a thread on GreekChat is another entirely. I believe that your mind was probably made up that you would rather be somewhere else and the racism issue gave you a reason to leave.

Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, but that's how I see it. No offense intended. It just really makes me mad whenever I hear people equate racism with Kappa Alpha. The fact that a famous Confederate soldier, Robert E. Lee, is honored as the fraternity's spiritual leader does not make every KA brother a racist.

***dzrose93 getting off her soapbox***

I did not quit KA because if the race issue... that was just a small factor, and at the time I found out about it, it became the last straw. I know what you mean about not all KA's being racist. I did not drop out because of what people "might" have thought. I did not want to represent an organization that is known in certain places in our country for being racist. Racism is something I feel very strongly about. I know that not all KA's are racist, and I’m sure your brother is a cool guy, but I can't ignore the fact that race is a problem with KA... I know that no frat is perfect, but having a rep like KA is enough to make anyone take notice. You have to admit that every time you meet a new KA the thought must cross your mind... wondering if they are racist.

dzrose93 · #24 04-19-2001, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by josh8o:

You have to admit that every time you meet a new KA the thought must cross your mind... wondering if they are racist.

Actually, no, that thought doesn't even enter my mind. I've never been less than impressed by the KA's I've met. The Southern Gentlemen idea is something that they take to heart and I respect them greatly for it.

The fact that there are African-American KA brothers, as well as many other minority members, is another reason that I find the racism stereotype so outrageous.

Stereotyping is a huge problem with Greek organizations, no matter what organization you're talking about. And I think it's wrong for people to automatically assume that Kappa Alpha Order condones racism just because of a few isolated incidents. That would be like me automatically assuming that XYZ Fraternity is nothing but a bunch a druggies just because 3 out of 200 chapters have been kicked off campus because of drugs in the past few years.

It's just an issue I feel really strongly about, as I'm sure you do, too. At any rate, it doesn't sound like you were happy in Kappa Alpha, so I'm glad that you left when you did. No one should ever feel forced to stay in a situation they are unhappy with, and it would probably have only ended up hurting you and the chapter in the long run had you stayed.

I hope you find what you are looking for in the other fraternity. Please keep all of us on GC posted!

Tom Earp · #25 04-19-2001, 05:16 PM

Hell yes there is Racisim out there!
But I don't want to tell Brother R. Jenkins or our new Associate Member that as they may think unkindly of us!
Our Patron Mrs L. who is the most Southern Lady I know absolutly Loves Brother Jenkins. The only time I give him Hell is when He does not get back to see Her!
I just figure Brother Jenkins does not have to work on His tan as hard as I do!
Damn does he have all of the luck!!!!

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Tom Earp LX Z#1
Pittsburg State U. (Kansas)