Interesting Lunch Today....Why actives should read...

[Eightisgreat]

My husband and I were having lunch today in Austin. We were seated by a group of girls from ABC (wearing their letters loud and proud) who were on what I am guessing was a break from work week. To say they were chatty was mild, but I was surprised how they were slamming their own leadership. The were going on and on about fines, and how "dumb" and "stupid" they were...etc. About how they didn't like the skit, the girls that showed up intoxicated today (and how they were angry those girls did not get in trouble...grain of salt here....no one knows what happens behind closed doors...., etc) They continued on about other house's fine structure (which I assume is just rumor...I certainly took it as such)

I guess I am just really surprised at the outwardness of the conversations in a public place, during UT move-in week. Certainly they are smart enough to know they could be surrounded by PNMs, Parents, Alums and other chapter actives. In my eyes, it made a group that my daughter has mentioned favorably, not look so great.

I know for me, had those girls represented my sorority, I would have spoken up. Certainly chapters stress that all eyes (and ears) are on them....two days before recruitment begins?????

[Ladybugmom]

Not good at all, especially since they had thier letters on.. I guess they think no one is listening to them or that all of the PNM's arent there yet..you are so right though..anyone could be listening!

[honeychile]

Please tell me that they weren't ADPis!! Our Pledge Mom hammered "The D in Delta is for Discretion!" into us on a daily basis!

[Eightisgreat]

They were not ADPis...and that will have to be last chapter I comment on or it will come out by elimination.... But you asked first.

[AlwaysSAI]

Discretion and airing one's gripes is an important skill to learn for any point in life. Is it important to air one's gripes? Sure. Is it smart to do it loudly in public right before a big presentation or sale pitch? NO.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by Eightisgreat

My husband and I were having lunch today in Austin. We were seated by a group of girls from ABC (wearing their letters loud and proud) who were on what I am guessing was a break from work week. To say they were chatty was mild, but I was surprised how they were slamming their own leadership. The were going on and on about fines, and how "dumb" and "stupid" they were...etc. About how they didn't like the skit, the girls that showed up intoxicated today (and how they were angry those girls did not get in trouble...grain of salt here....no one knows what happens behind closed doors...., etc) They continued on about other house's fine structure (which I assume is just rumor...I certainly took it as such)

I guess I am just really surprised at the outwardness of the conversations in a public place, during UT move-in week. Certainly they are smart enough to know they could be surrounded by PNMs, Parents, Alums and other chapter actives. In my eyes, it made a group that my daughter has mentioned favorably, not look so great.

I know for me, had those girls represented my sorority, I would have spoken up. Certainly chapters stress that all eyes (and ears) are on them....two days before recruitment begins?????

What's even worse is when a pnm's heli-mom takes to the intarwebz to further the gossip and cast shade on all the sororities at the University of Texas.

[katydidKD]

This is a recurring problem, at least in my chapter. People complaining in public about how they have to go to Chapter tonight, or even people not watching what they say when in letters (omg! so drunk last night!). People don't realize that people associate your entire group with you when you are wearing them...and even when you are not.

For instance, if you have a class three times a week, and always sit in the third chair from the right, and wear your letters often, people will not magically forget you are an XYZ they day you forgo letters. For some reason girls don't understand that they are always wearing their letters, and you should act as such.

[Eightisgreat]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

What's even worse is when a pnm's heli-mom takes to the intarwebz to further the gossip and cast shade on all the sororities at the University of Texas.

Barbie I respect everyone's opinion here. I seriously don't consider my post from the helicopter viewpoint. I was speaking as a alum who was a bit dumbfounded that a chapter at a competitive recruitment (or any chapter for that matter) has not been properly advised to use a bit of their brains in public when they have to know the place is crawling with PNMs, actives, alums and chapter advisors.

Now a word on parenting. I will parent my child the way I see fit. So far I have sent 4 to college and their college experiences, although varied, have produced productive, independent adults. I have never been a parent of a girl experiencing sorority recruitment. I have been the PNM, the active and the alum. I know a little about a bunch of stuff and much about some stuff. I raise my children with manners, proper etiquette, and respect. Am I guilt of hovering. I sure have been. I am also guilty of pushing them off the edge with no parachute. Every situation is play by play. So as choices are made to slam parent relationships (Which this particular post has NOTHING to do with) remember you have no idea what the play by play of every situation is. So walk in my shoes and I will love to stand by as you pass judgement. Watch me walk....you have no voice.

[madoug]

Well said, Eightisgreat.

[carnation]

Extremely well said!

[KDMafia]

During recruitment last year I heard one sorority member at the school union complaining about her chapter's grade requirements that had recently been raised as well as other basic requirements of the sorority. She was also talking disparingly about the PNMs in general. She was wearing letters and was sitting at a table surrounded by women who could easily have been going through recruitment. We warn PNMs that they should clean up their facebook and watch themselves around others, I don't see anything wrong with discussing that it works the same way for the sorority women as well.

[arrowlady]

Originally Posted by carnation

Extremely well said!

Very well said. I think eightisgreat raises a good point. Actives should be just as careful of what they say/do in public as PNMs.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

What's even worse is when a pnm's heli-mom takes to the intarwebz to further the gossip and cast shade on all the sororities at the University of Texas.

What's even worse is when someone is too scared to post on her username that identifies her school and letters.

You know, the username that might even make your post semi-relevant besides just being a failed attempt at snark.

[im5am]

As one mother to another (with bright successful children in their own right) I totally agree with everything you said! I was accused of being a "PNM heli mom" this time last year as well, but for whatever its worth, take these comments lightly! Most GCer's are very supportive and give great advice as I think you did in the original post above! The best of luck to your daughter, this is such an exciting time for the both of you!

[carnation]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

What's even worse is when someone is too scared to post on her username that identifies her school and letters.

You know, the username that might even make your post semi-relevant besides just being a failed attempt at snark.

Texas APhi?