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  #16  
Old 02-17-2003, 09:39 AM
White_Chocolate White_Chocolate is offline
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Don't worry, be happy.

I'm black. . .so what?
I have never even dated a black guy. . .big deal?
I'm attracted to Asians, Hispanic, and Caucasian guys. . .woo-hoo!
I think that it is important to 'do your thing'. It's not like you're going to marry the guy TOMORROW or even in a couple of months. When it starts getting serious, that's when you worry about telling your parents and stuff.
I can't say that my parents were excited with the boyfriends that I have had but they didn't make a big issue about it. They just stated what they thought was going to happen and said, 'but it's your life and if we tell you no. . .you'll sneak around and do it anyway.'

so, date this guy. and come back in about 4 months of dating him. . .because by then, SPRING BREAK, MARDI GRAS, FORMALS will have happened. . .you might have met someone else.

A couple og
  #17  
Old 02-17-2003, 05:50 PM
UF_PikePC98 UF_PikePC98 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by carnation
We want them to date--and marry--kind and caring men with strong values.


Kinda like me?
  #18  
Old 02-17-2003, 07:54 PM
AchtungBaby80 AchtungBaby80 is offline
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Wow...it sounds like most of your parents are pretty easygoing. If I were to date outside my race, especially a black person, my parents would disown me. They are extremely racist when it comes to family, and they would probably think it would make them "look bad" if I dated anyone other than a Caucasian guy. I think that's pretty sad, but they're my parents so I can't say anything. Thank goodness my boyfriend happens to be white, though...
  #19  
Old 02-18-2003, 02:44 AM
nucutiepie nucutiepie is offline
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Well, for me, the ironic thing is that my parents encountered a lot of opposition from THEIR parents when they were dating. My mom was supposed to marry an Italian Catholic, my father an Irish Catholic. Their joint Catholicism was pretty much the only reason their parents accepted the relationship at all!

I have dated Jewish boys in the past and my dad was pretty uneasy about that - heck, he even discourages me from dating boys who were raised outside of New England. Strangely enough he was okay with me dating pretty much whoever when I was in HS - but he and all of his siblings met their spouses in college, and suddenly I can't date people for the fun of the moment anymore... its weird
  #20  
Old 02-18-2003, 02:50 AM
Peaches-n-Cream Peaches-n-Cream is offline
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I have seen many interracial relationships in my family and among my friends. I've never had an interracial relationship because I've only been asked out by whites. When my cousin who is Irish and Italian American married an African man, her father objected and didn't even attend the wedding. Now twelve years and two children later, he not only has accepted the marriage, but embraced his son-in-law and their children. It took several years for him to come around. My sister dated a black man for nearly three years. My mother wasn't happy, but she has never been happy with any of the men in our lives. The primary problem that they had in their relationship really didn't have anything to do with 'race' per se. They had different goals and expectations which can cause any relationship to end. They are still the best of friends even though their romantic relationship has ended.

nucutiepie, have fun and enjoy yourself. Maybe this new friendship will blossom into a romance or maybe not. I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you.
  #21  
Old 02-18-2003, 02:54 AM
phisigduchesscv phisigduchesscv is offline
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Growing up in Los Angeles I was taught by my parents (and just from experience being among the white minority at school) that we're all just humans and it doesn't matter what race we are. My brother married the half-Japanese girl from next door and my family was okay with it.

Somewhere along the way though I knew my parents wouldn't want me to date a black man. I remember my mom talking about how a white woman can date a man of any other race and society doesn't care. Yet if a white and black person start to date society looks down on you and gives you problems. At the time I just let the comments blow over me since I tended to be more attracted to White or Asian men.

Imagine my worry though when I got to know this really nice black guy in my class and he started showing an interest in me. When I talked about him to my friends race never played an issue in it, it was just always Daryl this or that. In fact, many of my friends asked me after they met Daryl why I hadn't mentioned he was black not because they had a problem with it but because I just never mentioned it. To me it never played a part in our relationship he was just a really nice classmate that I started spending time with.

However I still remember coming home and telling my mom I have good news and bad news about this guy I'm going to start dating. I told her the good news is he's Lutheran and she said "he's black isn't he". Later on I heard her talking to one of my brothers about him and mom couldnt' even say he was black she just told my brother I had a new boyfriend and remember the movie "guess who's coming to dinner". Daddy didn't say much would just kind of give me this look though when I mentioned Daryl or he would say your 3 times 7 plus (however many years past 21 years old) and you can do what you want. I was so pissed off and hurt by my parents attitude since they had taught me that we are all alike and yet they were judging Daryl on his being black only.

I was truthful with Daryl about my parents attitude before I brought him home to meet mom and dad. My parents were always respectful to Daryl but it did take them a short while to warm up to him though. Once they really got to know him, saw he was treating me well and with respect, and wasn't the stereotypical gangbanger like you see in cities near us they really liked him. Maybe a little too much because now the problem is if Daryl and I have a disagreement they tend to side with him instead. My parents have said Daryl is like a son to them and they absolutely love him now.

As we always say when choosing a sorority you should follow your heart. If this guy is someone you could really get to like and could see yourself dating him and maybe becoming really serious with him then spend time with him getting to know him better. If you don't, then who knows you may be passing up your Mr. Right
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  #22  
Old 02-18-2003, 12:20 PM
smiley21 smiley21 is offline
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Timber
[B]White chicks will never go back once they have a piece of this CHOCOLATE THUNDER!

LOL!!

I am actually in a interracial relationship (i am black, the guy is white) and I think that I am the only one that is uneasy. I sometimes think that he wishes that he was with a beautiful blonde. He tells me that he forgets that I am black most of the time. He just isnt looking for that
As for my parents, my dad wouldnt bat an eye if I brought home a guy that was blue
My mom doesnt care either although she wonders sometimes if I have something against black guys cause I have only been out with white guys. of course its not true, it is just the way things happened.

Parents just need to get past color and look for happiness.
  #23  
Old 02-18-2003, 12:28 PM
sigmagrrl sigmagrrl is offline
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I'm African American and I've only ever been interested in Caucasian men. My mom is not only aware, she's always on the look out for BF's for me! I will never date a black man, I'm pretty sure of this. I don't have any interest. My last BF was Jewish and the guy I'm currently into is....you guessed it, Caucasian. Can't help what I like, and I never will!
  #24  
Old 02-18-2003, 01:20 PM
smiley21 smiley21 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by sigmagrrl
I'm African American and I've only ever been interested in Caucasian men. My mom is not only aware, she's always on the look out for BF's for me! I will never date a black man, I'm pretty sure of this. I don't have any interest. My last BF was Jewish and the guy I'm currently into is....you guessed it, Caucasian. Can't help what I like, and I never will!



Its good to know someone feels the same way. I dont think that I will date a black man either. It has nothing with predjuice or anything , I am just not interested. Who knows, maybe a beautiful black man will sweep me off my feet later on.
  #25  
Old 02-18-2003, 02:37 PM
NinjaPoodle NinjaPoodle is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by phisigduchesscv
As we always say when choosing a sorority you should follow your heart. If this guy is someone you could really get to like and could see yourself dating him and maybe becoming really serious with him then spend time with him getting to know him better. If you don't, then who knows you may be passing up your Mr. Right
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  #26  
Old 02-18-2003, 03:00 PM
ZTAMich ZTAMich is offline
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One of the girls I live with is dating a black guy and while she loves him very much has had some real problems with the relationship. Her family is very against interracial relationships, esp her father. Her mother knows her bf as only a friend and her dad has no idea at all. She was thinking of telling them the truth over Thankgiving break but found out her financial aid for school was falling through so she waited for that to get cleared up. Then over winter break her car broke down so she waited for that to clear up. She knows she will be disowned if they find out and is having a real hard time deciding if it is worth telling them.
  #27  
Old 02-18-2003, 03:07 PM
Dionysus Dionysus is offline
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My there are some racist motherfuckers (our parents).
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  #28  
Old 02-18-2003, 03:55 PM
smiley21 smiley21 is offline
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Originally posted by UF_PikePC98
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  #29  
Old 02-18-2003, 04:40 PM
pinkyphimu pinkyphimu is offline
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well, i just ended an inter-cultural relationship. i am italian and he is indian (as in from india). he moved here when he was 8. neither of us had issues due to our cultural differences. our biggest clash was he is a vegetarian and i am not. lol, he hates the smell of tuna and said that i could never have it in our house.

anyway, his family expected that he would have an arranged marriage. both of his older sisters did, so that was that. his younger brother is also in a relationship with an american woman. he told his parents about her and his mother cried. and still cries every day. they told him that they would disown him, although they have not yet. they have in the past made it clear to my ex that they would disown him. i kept telling him that if he and his brother did it together, there was no way his parents would cut them both off! unfortunately, as soon as his brother told his parents.....they guilted my ex even more. "we are so glad you would never do that to us..." puh-lease. how ridiculous. i am well educated, come from a good family, have my own money, and love this man more than just about anything, but in their eyes i am not good enough because i am not indian.
last weekend he called me to tell me that he is engaged to a woman that he met a week before who happens to live in india....and he won't see her again until the wedding.

he wasn't strong enough to tell his parents. he is miserable, but doesn't know how to get out. as i have told him a zillion times, someday your parents will die and you will be looking at some woman that you never cared about and that you were with just to make your parents happy.

parents suck. their generation has a very different view of inter-racial/ cultural relationships. things have changed and we are more accepting of these things. if you show your parents that the person you are with is good to you and for you, then they will change too.
  #30  
Old 02-18-2003, 04:41 PM
starang21 starang21 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by librasoul22
All of the black women were waiting with baited breath to see if they could EVER possibly attract the galant knight, UF Pike. Alas, sadly it is not meant to be.

Er..uh..

lol..

I think I speak for every woman with ANY African/black heritage when I say

THANK GOD!

that's probably what happens when you're sheltered in life. that's why some guys like them weak-minded women (chickens) so they can feel like the "man" in the relationship.
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