Love and APO

[pirate00]

Our beloved Fraternity has been often referred to as "the world's largest dating service". There is strong evidence for this in almost every chapter, as you will find many brothers dating, some even making it down the aisle together. I attribute this to the kind of people APO usually attracts: like-minded, caring and compassionate people who want to help make the world a better place in their own way. Have you, my brothers noticed this trend amongst brothers, whether in your chapter or in others?

[Attractive#7]

I've only seen one case where a male and a female are dating in our chapter...well make that two couples in our chapter. I don't think it's a big deal between us though. As a rule of thumb, I don't think it's always the best idea to do within the frat, but we all have exceptions every now and then.

Now that I think about it there was an older couple in our frat. And I know of a couple that broke up and now they are not on good terms.

[tbdumpsterdiver]

we've had several people date and even get married in my chapter....

[naraht]

I married a brother from another chapter. I was on staff and she was a Petitioner when we met. We fell in love while I was travelling with her from a chartering of a different chapter (Loyola) to a PGPPC for her PG.

Randy

[SprintPCS 1925]

Awwwwwwwwwww.......Love IS In The Air.

[MightyMouse_APO]

Interesting.......

I date a brother (female) in the fraternity and sometimes it can be a good thing and sometimes its not. The only hard thing about dating a brother is when the business interferes with our personal relationship. If you can differentiate the business from personal then you can have a healthy relationship being brothers within the fraternity

[JayBEE!!]

There are a host of problems to dating inside the fraternity at the undergraduate level.

A.) Business conducted can be onesided.

B.) If half the chapter is dating, they might not want to do anything on campus. I have heard of that happening before.

C.) Also, I 've seen the the president and the tresurer leave with all the money.

D.) I've heard of males going through the organization, and at a meeting that causes a new stress factor, which is having to see that individual with another brother.

E.) These relationship can influence and create unfair decisions.

F.) You can waist your time with Disingenuous interest. They can be after an individual, but will not work for your chapter.

G.) Two dimensional thinking. Your president can be manipulated even before they make it to the meetings.

H.) The social org dating service appearance from the students on campus.

This is my opinion and things you have to consider

[Catbuk]

Most of the chapters in my section have brothers dating brothers, and many of them getting married after graduation. (I've got one wedding in June and had 2 last year.) My chapter in particular had some basic policies on dating brothers:

1) Brothers were encouraged NOT to date pledges.
2) Brothers were encouraged NOT to date their littles.
3) You are to keep your personal relationship out of chapter meetings and decisions.

Over the years we've never really had any serious problems from brothers dating. I dated a brother as a pledge and later as an active. We broke up and still had to be on exec together, but we remembered that our personal problems do NOT belong in the chapter.

Policies reminding the brotherhood that they shouldn't let their personal relationship affect the chapter usually help to remind people about that.

There will always be those who see APhiO as a dating service, that can't be helped. It's the same as those who see going to the gym or to church as a dating service.

We are brothers because we have something in common. Some of the happiest marriages I know are between brothers, especially ones from the same chapter, because they know each other so well. They know their faults and their strengths, and they respect each other. So I say, to those who are dating brothers, CONGRADULATIONS; to those are out there looking for that special someone, you know that the brothers in the fraternity already have things in common with you and that you trust them. Why not start there?

[Sister Havana]

Oh, yes. It seemed like half my chapter was dating the other half! I never dated anyone in my chapter, though I did date a brother from a chapter in Michigan whom I met at regionals.

And my little is getting married this summer to a brother from Michigan Tech.

[JayBEE!!]

Originally posted by JayBEE!!
There are a host of problems to dating inside the fraternity at the undergraduate level.

A.) Business conducted can be onesided.

B.) If half the chapter is dating, they might not want to do anything on campus. I have heard of that happening before.

C.) Also, I 've seen the the president and the treasurer leave with all the money.

D.) I've heard of males going through the organization, and at a meeting that causes a new stress factor, which is having to see that individual with another brother.

E.) These relationship can influence and create unfair decisions.

F.) You can waist your time with Disingenuous interest. They can be after an individual, but will not work for your chapter.

G.) Two dimensional thinking. Your president can be manipulated even before they make it to the meetings.

H.) The social org dating service appearance from the students on campus.

This is my opinion and things you have to consider

Let me add
I.) Influencing Distraction. When occurances happen within the relationships, some people begin to schedule meetings and events where the other party as difficulty in attending.

J.) Dating Rules are adhered to. Rules can be created and because dating has happen in the past, or because that were thier first intentions in joing, you may not have anybody take them seriously, and you are left with circumstances beyond your control.

K.) Daters take the organization less seriously and more of a place to socialize.

L.) Pledges dating members can lead to hazing violations.

M.) The more your group appears as a dating service the more others will come just to date somebody, and not be serious about the fraternity. And when they fail to obtain their interest, they attempt to back out of their oath to the fraternity.

N.) Using the fraternity to hurt the individual that they broke up with.

[naraht]

The interesting thing is watching some of the social single-sex GLOs deal with the concept of dating in the chapter if there are two homosexuals in the chapter. Its only been recently that gays have felt comfortable coming out in social GLOs. By this, I'm not refering to the new gay oriented social GLOs, but the ones that have been around for a century or so...

I think Gays have been more comfortable coming out in APO, for two reasons, one, a brother who is uncomfortable isn't automatically living right down the hall and two a gay brother is one that isn't interested in the women of the chapter.

Randy

[JayBEE!!]

Originally posted by JayBEE!!
Let me add
I.) Influencing Distraction. When occurances happen within the relationships, some people begin to schedule meetings and events where the other party as difficulty in attending.

J.) Dating Rules are adhered to. Rules can be created and because dating has happen in the past, or because that were thier first intentions in joing, you may not have anybody take them seriously, and you are left with circumstances beyond your control.

K.) Daters take the organization less seriously and more of a place to socialize.

L.) Pledges dating members can lead to hazing violations.

M.) The more your group appears as a dating service the more others will come just to date somebody, and not be serious about the fraternity. And when they fail to obtain their interest, they attempt to back out of their oath to the fraternity.

N.) Using the fraternity to hurt the individual that they broke up with.

Let me add
O.) Male to male and female to female relationship tensions affect chapters operations.

P.) Internal relationships are frown upon in the corporate world because of the decreased in productivity that relationships create.

Q.) Bylaws, rules and pledging, become less stringent on a companion than someone not in a relationship, which is not fair and not honest.

[pirate00]

Its been a few years since this has thread been commented (or lamented on lol). I'm bumping it up for any new people who haven't added to this.

[Pingyang]

http://youtu.be/gWsWsKNqtdU

[naraht]

Most people meet and start dating through common interests and service is one of them...