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  #16  
Old 12-12-2022, 03:14 PM
shadokat shadokat is offline
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One thing I find super interesting about this whole thread is that in most chapters, women would just disaffiliate if people don't like each other, they're not happy, etc. The rate of disaffiliation is so much higher now than it was say 20 years ago. Why would women pay to be a part of an organization they don't like?

I commend you for wanting to make your chapter a better place. Until these GIRLS grow up and act like women, address their issues, and move past them, you'll likely not see too much change. You said your national is visiting in Spring 2023. Are they even aware of the situation? I'd make them aware if they're not. Hopefully they'll step up and visit sooner to help.

At some point, someone needs to have a come to Jesus conversation with the chapter and say look, if you hate it here, go. If you don't want to be a member, disaffiliate. That behavior spreads like wildfire when it's tolerated, and until it's gone, I fear you have quite an uphill battle on your hands.
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  #17  
Old 12-13-2022, 05:31 AM
cayk0 cayk0 is offline
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Originally Posted by navane View Post
cayk0, I also commend you for having a true heart for your sorority and for looking to find ways to move your organization forward in a positive fashion. Some of the others here have already offered some ideas. If by any chance yours is a chapter of Gamma Phi Beta, please PM me so that I can get you more direct help.
Thank you! Unfortunately (well…maybe fortunately due to the circumstances) I am not in Gamma Phi Beta, but much love to your organization!!
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  #18  
Old 12-13-2022, 06:01 AM
cayk0 cayk0 is offline
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Originally Posted by shadokat View Post
One thing I find super interesting about this whole thread is that in most chapters, women would just disaffiliate if people don't like each other, they're not happy, etc. The rate of disaffiliation is so much higher now than it was say 20 years ago. Why would women pay to be a part of an organization they don't like?

I commend you for wanting to make your chapter a better place. Until these GIRLS grow up and act like women, address their issues, and move past them, you'll likely not see too much change. You said your national is visiting in Spring 2023. Are they even aware of the situation? I'd make them aware if they're not. Hopefully they'll step up and visit sooner to help.

At some point, someone needs to have a come to Jesus conversation with the chapter and say look, if you hate it here, go. If you don't want to be a member, disaffiliate. That behavior spreads like wildfire when it's tolerated, and until it's gone, I fear you have quite an uphill battle on your hands.
I find myself getting more and more frustrated every day. I think you’re right, though; I can’t see an end to this until some serious changes are made from the ground up. I don’t know the full extent of what our nationals knows currently, but I will make it known soon, personally.

I would love to get our EBoard on board and stage a chapter-wide “intervention” to say “if you don’t like it, then get off your [@$$] and fix it.” The president is at least aware that we have an issue, but I feel like she seems apprehensive to put in the work to fix it; maybe because she’s afraid of backlash from the nasties, maybe because she thinks it requires way too massive of an overhaul, maybe because she doesn’t know where to start—whatever it is, she has made it clear in private and to all of us that something has got to give.

I understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day, but, you know, Rome wasn’t built by procrastinating and shuffling our feet. I think that, yes, we do need a massive overhaul, but the more time we spend twiddling our thumbs anxiously, the more damage and rot spreads through the chapter and the more restorative work we ultimately have to do. I wish it didn’t bother me as much as it does.

Switching topics, I worry that our internal problems are becoming a little more external. We don’t have a great reputation, and, no, I don’t just mean “weird” or “mean,” I mean we have a pretty poor perception for a variety of reasons (I will leave it at that for privacy’s sake…) and I think that a lack of support and partnership from the rest of the Greek community will hasten our demise (if it gets that far). We are a pretty isolated organization because of our reputation and I worry that this will also push more “moderate” (for lack of a better term) members away who joined a sorority in part due to the parties and relationships that usually come with being in a sorority. That, in addition to PNMs—people talk, Greekrank talks, YikYak talks, we don’t need any more members coming in, resenting an organization they’ve just joined. Advice here is welcomed warmly if anybody can think of anything!

Sorry to dump that wall of text here. It’s finals week and my brain needs a break from everything STEM right about now. Curse the person who invented chemistry. Thanks everybody.
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