How to deal with problems with a pledge sister

cr2817 · #1 11-08-2012, 12:59 AM

Hey everyone! I don't want to go into too much details about this where anyone can see, but if anyone has been in a bad situation with another girl in their sorority, please message me as I'm not sure which way to go next.
Thank you

AOII Angel · #2 11-08-2012, 07:46 AM

Talk to your big sis, pledge mom, president or someone in your chapter that is above you that you can trust. The internet is not the place to look for help in these matters. Sometimes, just going to the actual sister of concern and working things out is the grown up thing to do as well.

33girl · #3 11-08-2012, 12:49 PM

Talk to your pledge mom/new member educator/whatever you call her in your sorority. This is part of her job. Don't go to anyone else unless it is apparent she has a conflict of interests (i.e. the girl you're having problems w/ is the pledge mom's biological sister or something).

cr2817 · #4 11-08-2012, 03:57 PM

AOII ANGEL- I actually have spoken to both my big sister and the girl in question, and things got worse after speaking to her. I received some great advice, however, and like 33girl advised, I plan on talking to my pledge mom tonight.

Thank you both for your advice!

DubaiSis · #5 11-08-2012, 04:23 PM

And there are some things in life that just can't be fixed. Some girls are just bitchy and there's no work-around to that. If she's in the chapter, she's probably in until she decides not to be because most mean girl things aren't actually punishable offenses. In my chapter, one sister starting going out with another sister's (and one of her best friends') boyfriend behind her back, and then openly. Is that a phenomenally douchy thing to do? Yes. Is there anything the sorority can do about it? No. In that case, take to your separate corners and hope it will all fade away soon.

thetalady · #6 11-08-2012, 07:12 PM

Even in a sorority, you will probably not be friends with everybody, so don't expect that. Downright nastiness is another thing, though...

thetygerlily · #7 11-08-2012, 08:57 PM

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Your big sis, the new member education chair- those are the right people to talk to. You can also talk to the VP Standards (or equivalent who handles sisterhood & disciplinary issues).

Hang in there- you can't get along with everyone, and while that's easy to accept in theory it's much harder in reality. And you never know what could happen. There was one girl in my pledge class that I really didn't get along with. I never really knew why- we just didn't click. Fast forward to senior year. We went through a fairly stressful experience together and became very good friends. I even drove three hours to her baby shower earlier this year

I'm not saying this will happen with you- but surprises come around every corner!

Best of luck to you. I really do empathize and I hope you are able to enjoy all the good your sorority has to offer.

cr2817 · #8 11-10-2012, 03:24 PM

Again, thank you all for your input and suggestions! Like many of you said, I do not need to be the best of friends with every single girl in my sorority.
As it is, the girl is actually switching schools next semester, which I didn't know about until last night. Though I hope we can be civil, I think part of her hostility may have stemmed from her decision to transfer or not.

33girl · #9 11-11-2012, 10:54 AM

Something every single human should write out and paste on his/her bathroom mirror is (paraphrasing) that the way people treat us often has zero to do with us and everything to do with them and their personal struggles. (I try to tell myself this all the time but it doesn't always take.)

This time of the year (holidays approaching) is really, really hard for some people as well.

It sounds like you should be able to weather the storm.

cr2817 · #10 11-11-2012, 05:30 PM

33girl, I have gotten some amazing advice here, but what you just said is something that I should DEFINITELY try to keep in mind at all times. I try not to, but sometimes I take things a little too personally

Either way, even though I've been able to deal with my issue, absolutely amazing advice.

adpiucf · #11 11-11-2012, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Something every single human should write out and paste on his/her bathroom mirror is (paraphrasing) that the way people treat us often has zero to do with us and everything to do with them and their personal struggles. (I try to tell myself this all the time but it doesn't always take.)

This time of the year (holidays approaching) is really, really hard for some people as well.

It sounds like you should be able to weather the storm.

This is such great advice!