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Welcome to our newest member, znathanhulzeo24 |
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08-15-2012, 09:51 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 7
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Titchou....someday you will have kids and you will understand the difference between helicopter parenting and just plain parenting. I am not running her life, but I have to make sure that she understands the ramifications of her choices. No she cannot work, this is not her decision, but one that highly advised by the Dean of her major. Trust me, I worked 40 hours a week and finished my last 2 years of school in 1 1/2, on dean's list. Hard work doesn't scare her.
Sorry, but this is a "WE" decision. WE are paying the bills and SHE needs to be aware of the cost factor. We need to consider the needs of the family as a whole. This is difficult to do when the financial information is about impossible to find. No my D did not get his information prior to recruitment, no they did not hand it out at Preview, no we cannot find this info thru any channels. Her Rho Chi does not have it either. D has asked. There is no BS.
I do not want to set her up for heartbreak and regret by telling her that we will make it work, when we can't. We did the best that we could with the info that we had. Shame on UA Greek System for not making the financial information readily available. I know for a fact that we are not the only family in this situation. D's roommate and another girl that she met in her group all have the same issue's.
I sincerely appreciate everyone's helpful advice, it is so nice to know that people care about one lone student and a desperate mom. Those who wish to judge me I can only say that someday you will understand how incredibly difficult it is to be the mama. I will post and let you know how it all works out. I am confident that it will.
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08-15-2012, 09:57 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Old South
Posts: 2,935
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee
So if they are paying for a meal plan at the house, do they get their money back from the university for that meal plan? Or are they buying two meal plans?
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Students who pledge a sorority or fraternity are allowed to change meal plans to a smaller plan, since they will be eating most meals at the house. You can eliminate it completely, but it does fill in a few of the meals for which the house is closed.
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08-15-2012, 09:58 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 7
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Titchou & 33girl...So glad that my daughter's situation and my asking for help can be a source of amusement for some of you. How very sad that you think that you have the right to ridicule and laugh at someone who came to you sincerely asking for help and advice.
Again, some day you will grow up and understand how hateful you were to someone who only asked for advice. I am done here...
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08-15-2012, 10:11 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: What's round on the ends and high in the middle?
Posts: 3,047
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jll
Titchou....someday you will have kids and you will understand the difference between helicopter parenting and just plain parenting. I am not running her life, but I have to make sure that she understands the ramifications of her choices. No she cannot work, this is not her decision, but one that highly advised by the Dean of her major. Trust me, I worked 40 hours a week and finished my last 2 years of school in 1 1/2, on dean's list. Hard work doesn't scare her.
Sorry, but this is a "WE" decision. WE are paying the bills and SHE needs to be aware of the cost factor. We need to consider the needs of the family as a whole. This is difficult to do when the financial information is about impossible to find. No my D did not get his information prior to recruitment, no they did not hand it out at Preview, no we cannot find this info thru any channels. Her Rho Chi does not have it either. D has asked. There is no BS.
I will post and let you know how it all works out. I am confident that it will.
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I can respect all of this. My parents did nothing to help me grasp the concept of money when I started college. As a result, I still have $40,000 in student loans. Had I truly understood what it meant to take out all those loans, I would have changed things.
I wish her the best, jll. Please let us know how it goes.
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KAQ - 1870 With twin stars and kites above.
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08-15-2012, 11:00 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1
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Brand new to posting, but lurking for some time and something jumped at me as I was reading this thread. It sounds like you daughter has a very demanding major if even a small 4-10 hr a week job is strongly discouraged. Are you sure she has time for a sorority? It is not only a financial, but also time commitment. Does the Dean of her major condone sorority activities?
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08-15-2012, 11:22 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Sweet Home Indiana
Posts: 2,082
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldSEC
Brand new to posting, but lurking for some time and something jumped at me as I was reading this thread. It sounds like you daughter has a very demanding major if even a small 4-10 hr a week job is strongly discouraged. Are you sure she has time for a sorority? It is not only a financial, but also time commitment. Does the Dean of her major condone sorority activities?
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I have a relative who graduated from Purdue in one of their more demanding majors. The professors suggested that they not have jobs the first year. The cousin managed to work one weekend a month (8 hours on Saturday and 8 hours on Sunday) and still ended up with a 4.0 in pharmacy after two years of working one weekend a month. He just planned around it by staying in on Friday to study the weekend he worked, etc. Maybe something like that would work for her if it were related to her major, so that she would be getting career experience in the mean time. Also, don't under estimate how much she could save up during the summer to help pay for t-shirts, favors, etc.
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One Heart One Way since 1874
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08-15-2012, 11:36 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 15,390
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I feel like certain majors say those things to scare people or make them seem more elite somehow. Seriously. In January, I took a full time grad school load. I worked 40 hours a week. I parented two teenagers. Single parented them even. I held a volunteer position with my sorority. Yeah, I only got a 3.94 or something that term but so what? People do as much as they want to do.
In undergrad, my major warned against working and against sororities. I did both. I worked probably 24 hours a week, took classes, did 16 hours a week in fieldwork and was active in my sorority and other organizations too. Oh yes, and a full time boyfriend.
I would imagine that the differences in costs have to do with what they are including on their web site.
And, I have to say, there's no way I'd be able to afford a sorority for Hypo at that school. I'm glad it isn't that expensive around here or where she's going.
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08-15-2012, 11:38 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,552
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Let me say first, I sympathize with the OP.
Let me say second, I do not understand why you even let her go through rush if cost was such a heavy factor. Because, if it was, and you already knew it to be so, then I am assuming you would have heavily researched this before even starting.
I really feel for both you and your daughter. Financial pressure is the worst. But I put the responsibility on you to have found out all of this first and not set your daughter up for this drama/tension/uncertainty.
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08-15-2012, 11:43 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,552
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Just found this info on the Alabama Panhellenic FAQ page:
Total Average Fees (per semester):
Living In-House: $4,105.00 includes room, sorority meal plan and sorority dues
Living Out-of-House: $2,300.00 includes sorority meal plan, parlor fees and sorority dues
*One-time New Member Fee: $472.83 (average cost for fall semster)
So evidently, the info has been there all along.
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08-15-2012, 11:50 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: ILL-INI
Posts: 7,208
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gee_ess
Just found this info on the Alabama Panhellenic FAQ page:
Total Average Fees (per semester):
Living In-House: $4,105.00 includes room, sorority meal plan and sorority dues
Living Out-of-House: $2,300.00 includes sorority meal plan, parlor fees and sorority dues
*One-time New Member Fee: $472.83 (average cost for fall semster)
So evidently, the info has been there all along.
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Right, so the OP saw the average, figured out how she could handle it, and is now hearing that some of the chapters actually have much higher dues than what is listed on the website. If there are chapters that are really way higher than this, they should be listing them individually so people know.
It's really not fair to expect that everyone can a) afford up to $1200 more than the "average" at a moment's notice or b) obtain information via word-of-mouth.
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08-15-2012, 11:51 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 22
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Unfortunately that information is out of date and incorrect. Panhellenic needs to correct that page. D lives inhouse at $5200 a semester...we put $800 in Purchase fund account as well for t-shirts, zaps ect. We are not charged for date parties, dances or social events of any kind. There are hidden costs for Philanthropy events. D is a junior. When she pledged 2010 our out of house costs were app 2600. Those building new houses and old row houses will have higher house bills. I know for a fact some sororities who are building the new houses have passed the added billing only to those girls who will be living in...not to the entire group.
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08-15-2012, 11:58 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 705
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jll
Titchou & 33girl...So glad that my daughter's situation and my asking for help can be a source of amusement for some of you. How very sad that you think that you have the right to ridicule and laugh at someone who came to you sincerely asking for help and advice.
Again, some day you will grow up and understand how hateful you were to someone who only asked for advice. I am done here...
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Jll, I'm just heartbroken for you -- I'm shocked at the flippant ridicule as well. It is difficult enough to be a pnm's mother during recruitment, and I'm sure you didn't need or expect this treatment. What exemplary representatives of their respective GLOs -- who did a lot more to perpetuate sorority stereotypes than demonstrate the value of a sorority experience.
All the best to your daughter.
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08-16-2012, 12:13 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 739
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Most (though not all) chapters list expenses for 2012-13 in the PDF brochures on their individual profile pages, which I'm guessing have been online since the beginning of spring at least.
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08-16-2012, 12:30 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Back in the Heartland
Posts: 5,424
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I think it's very healthy to have this discussion. Unfortunately, she may not have the leeway to choose against one of the more expensive chapters. And I don't think there's a problem with her ranking with cost as a factor. Unfortunately, her ranks and her results won't necessarily match.
If she's having a good rush and she does have a certain level of control about her invitations, then great; she can use that as a factor. The problem is going to happen if she gets through to the end and your worst case scenario is what she gets.
But I really wouldn't let cost ruin the day. Sororities these days do offer payment plans so although the costs don't go away, they do get spread out. And let's not forget that sororities offer lots of scholarships. I think there are financial alternatives to you, so no need to panic just yet.
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"Traveling - It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller. ~ Ibn Battuta
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08-16-2012, 12:42 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 727
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You may see $2500 a semester and be thinking "great" and then find out half the stuff she either wants to do or is required to do isn't included and the real cost is more like $4000. You may see $4000 and think "crap" but that may include every single thing she would take part in with no additional funds being put out.
Obviously the info is out there and there are people who are sharing it. Doing the research and budgeting before recruitment is something that really needs to be done by every college student, who can share both the info and their plans to pay for it with their parents.
Fact is, it's now the middle of her recruitment and she does not have the luxury of choosing only to rush the more "affordable" groups (and I quotation it only because you don't know how affordable and included everything really is). There may be some tough decisions ahead that could have been avoided if research and financial planning had been done previous to recruitment.
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