Another shot?

IHeartSephora · #1 10-01-2009, 05:34 PM

So, this fall I went through formal recruitment as a sophomore. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I had an extremely open mind I ended up getting dropped from FR. A few weeks later one of my favorite groups had some COB events and despite the fact that I had great conversations with most of the girls I talked to and felt for sure that was the place I belonged, they did not extend a bid to me.

So, basically since I already have been rejected twice and will already be so far along in hours, is it worth giving informal in the spring a shot? Or will it just be setting me up for more disappointment?

perfectinpurple · #2 10-01-2009, 05:56 PM

I'm not sure how it is at your campus, but last year we gave a girl a bid in the spring who was a sophomore, and she's now a very involved and loved member of our chapter.

I would say give it another shot if you're invited again.

KSUViolet06 · #3 10-01-2009, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IHeartSephora

So, this fall I went through formal recruitment as a sophomore. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I had an extremely open mind I ended up getting dropped from FR. A few weeks later one of my favorite groups had some COB events and despite the fact that I had great conversations with most of the girls I talked to and felt for sure that was the place I belonged, they did not extend a bid to me.

I feel as if it just looks bad for me to try for informal in the spring, particularly since I will technically be considered a junior come spring. But, I can't shake the feeling that I belong in a sorority. Despite getting as involved as I can since getting dropped in formal, none of it makes me as happy as I was hanging out with the girls of the chapter I went to COB events for.

So, basically since I already have been rejected twice and will already be so far along in hours, is it worth giving informal in the spring a shot? Or will it just be setting me up for more disappointment?

Honestly, YOU are the only one who can determine if something is worth it.

However, just be prepared for the fact that things may not turn out the way you want, especially if these are chapters that may have dropped you before.

33girl · #4 10-01-2009, 08:55 PM

If they extended more than one or two bids through COB, I would skip it.

If they only extended one or two bids through COB and don't continue to keep in touch with you throughout the semester, I would skip it.

If the women keep calling you and inviting you to lunch or whatever with them and seem friendlier than usual on campus, go for it.

texas*princess · #5 10-01-2009, 09:26 PM

You need to decide if you think it's worth a shot. Like someone has said, be prepared for the fact that they won't bid you again.

I know you say you "can't shake the feeling that you belong in a sorority" but unfortunately Greek Life doesn't happen for everyone.

IHeartSephora · #6 10-12-2009, 02:05 AM

Thanks for the advice.

Thankfully, I still have a long while to mull over a decision to try for informal. I'm still undecided. I don't really want to appear desperate by ending up getting rejected three times. But, I'm really longing for the kind of sisterhood I see in these girls and want that kind of bond and the opportunities that come with being in a sorority. It's just not the same to be in clubs that consist of 4-6 other people who won't even smile back when you pass going to classes despite being friendly to them and are clubs that pretty much no one outside of them knows/cares about.

KSUViolet06 · #7 10-12-2009, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IHeartSephora

Thanks for the advice.

But, I'm really longing for the kind of sisterhood I see in these girls and want that kind of bond and the opportunities that come with being in a sorority. It's just not the same to be in clubs that consist of 4-6 other people who won't even smile back when you pass going to classes despite being friendly to them and are clubs that pretty much no one outside of them knows/cares about.

I have to ask this:

Do you have a sort of "tunnel vision" on Greek Life to the point that you aren't allowing other clubs to be a fun experience for you?

Alot of times, people will keep saying "but I want to be in a sorority" so much that NO OTHER group can be perceived as anything fun because it's not a sorority.

I know that you want to be Greek and of course English Club or something like that isn't a sorority, but it can still be a great experience and you can still form valuable relationships there.

I dunno, I was in several clubs outside of my sorority, and I found that those members were just as friendly to me as my sorority sisters were.

I understand that you want to be in a sorority, but to be honest, if that doesn't work out, I would hope that you seek other outlets for involvement. You only get one chance at college, and I want girls to make the best of it by not sitting around and lamenting not being in a sorority.

And really, even if you DO end up being in a sorority, I would suggest having some other campus involvement like a club.

kddani · #8 10-12-2009, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

And really, even if you DO end up being in a sorority, I would suggest having some other campus involvement like a club.

I think most sororities REQUIRE that you be involved in other activities outside of the sorority. I think our requirement was to be involved in at least two other groups on campus.

tld221 · #9 10-12-2009, 12:10 PM

Lane-swerving here, but I'd venture to guess as a junior, I'd hope OP wouldve used her time wisely in getting involved elsewhere, whether she was sill interested in rushing.

Its great to want to be greek, but coming back a third time with nothing new on your plate (aside from, maybe, a higher GPA or a new major/minor) doesn't give the house any more incentive to reconsider.

KSUViolet06 · #10 10-12-2009, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

Lane-swerving here, but I'd venture to guess as a junior, I'd hope OP wouldve used her time wisely in getting involved elsewhere, whether she was sill interested in rushing.

Its great to want to be greek, but coming back a third time with nothing new on your plate (aside from, maybe, a higher GPA or a new major/minor) doesn't give the house any more incentive to reconsider.

THIS.

When re-rushing, PNMs HAVE to ask themselves "what is different about me this time?"

Take a good look at everything: grades, overall presentation, campus activities, conversations, relationships with sorority members, etc.

If everything is basically the same as the last time you rushed, the result is likely to be the same.

And tld221 is right, you need to get involved whether you end up being Greek or not. When applying for grad school or other things "really, really wanting to be in a sorority" isn't a listable campus activity. Not to mention, you only go to college once and should make the best of it.

#11 10-12-2009, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

Its great to want to be greek, but coming back a third time with nothing new on your plate (aside from, maybe, a higher GPA or a new major/minor) doesn't give the house any more incentive to reconsider.

Ditto!

I came back with a new major emphasis, an amazing internship with an organization that a lot of people volunteer with at my school, membership in a few other campus organizations, and a fresh attitude.

Don't be afraid to go through a 3rd time, but get involved. If you don't get a bid, it's not the end of the world. If you go into recruitment with the attitude "A sorority would be awesome, but I already have such great friendships with __________ that it's not the end-all-be-all of college" then you'll be in a much better position mentally and emotionally to deal with however recruitment plays out.

bostongreek · #12 10-12-2009, 01:11 PM

I personally think that rushing three times looks very desperate and usually doesn't end up in a bid. After all, these are mostly the same girls that did not offer you one twice before. Yes, it sometimes works out, but that is the exception rather than the rule. Of course, if you think you can handle the heartache of potentially not receiving a bid, then absolutely go for it. But third time is not always the charm and it may not end up the way you would like it to.

IHeartSephora · #13 10-12-2009, 01:20 PM

I don't have "tunnel vision". My major doesn't have a club, but I am involved in my hall council, a community service organization, work at a job that's focus is benefiting the school, and have had some really amazing interesting internships. But the difference is that if I were to ask one of the members of one of the groups I'm involved in if they wanted to go eat lunch or study on a mutual subject we have with me, it doesn't matter how buddy-buddy we are during meetings and events and whatnot, they are not dedicated enough to want to spend time with members outside of the meetings which I am. So I am involved on campus. And actually want to be more so but other non-sorority activities I'm interested in are all about who you know in order to get accepted in and it's very difficult to get on say, Student Government, when Greeks overwhelm the vote and only vote in other Greeks.

IHeartSephora · #14 10-12-2009, 01:58 PM

Sorry the main part of that post I just realized was a little hectic. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am involved in other activities. It just sucks when you going out there to expand your group of friends and when you ask to hang out with someone outside of a meeting of say your community service group the reply is "I'm too busy. Anyways I'm only here because it looks good/my sorority is making me get involved/etc." And I just really want to get out there and form the kinds of connections I'm seeing with the girls in sororities at my school.

33girl · #15 10-12-2009, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IHeartSephora

And actually want to be more so but other non-sorority activities I'm interested in are all about who you know in order to get accepted in and it's very difficult to get on say, Student Government, when Greeks overwhelm the vote and only vote in other Greeks.

There are more non-Greeks than Greeks at almost every school in the country. Set up a facebook page and rally those people together.