That's so disheartening Leslie. It must have been a tough feeling to digest at that dinner.
I know I've been to some alumnae events where I felt like I was the only person in the room who felt out of place. But at one event, I was talking to some women, and I said "You know, I know we pledged at different chapters, but aren't we all here in support of the same ideals and values?". It was a pretty moment-changing statement. For the rest of that meeting, we talked about our experiences and what we were doing to continue our life in our sorority.
Now, the reason you may have felt out of place was because you were with women from the same chapter, so sharing experiences wasn't really possible, as they all had similar ones, while yours were different. I say stick with it. The more people you meet, the easier it will get, I PROMISE
And maybe you can get some recruits in the area yourself, making it a little easier on you.
Best of luck