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  #1  
Old 09-23-2020, 07:36 PM
jessyallison jessyallison is offline
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COB question - Is this a thing?

I'm sorry if this is long, but I'm just not sure what kind of advice to give my daughter. She is a sophomore at a medium-size state school and had an unsuccessful virtual rush this semester. She is not sure what went wrong, but she was released from all the chapters before pref round. She's been really sad about the whole situation because with COVID it is so hard to meet people and most of her friends either did not come back to campus this semester or are involved with their sororities. I told her not to dwell on this too much because we would never really know what happened and maybe the zoom format was just not optimal for her.

When the school decided to have virtual recruitment, they cut it down from 4 rounds to 3. So the cuts were harsh the first round. She found out later that most of the sororities did not make quota. Her Rho Gamma advised her that some of the groups would be doing COB because they did not make quota.

She has a good friend in one of the sororities that was doing COB and she let both the friend and her Rho Gamma know that she was insterested in COB, but the sorority sent a message through the Rho Gamma that the could not offer her a bid because they cut her in the first round and their national sorority has a rule against offering bids to anyone that they have ever cut during a previous round or recruitment. She was dissappointed but said that she did not want to give up hope because some of the other sororities would also be doing COB.

Now there is another sorority where several of her very close friends are sisters which announced that they would be doing COB. Her friends told her that they let the sister in charge of recruitment know that she was interested and that her name has been put on a list. This was over a week ago. One of the friends asked her today if anyone has contacted her and she said no. The friend said that maybe they also had a national rule about not extending bids during COB to girls who were cut earlier from recruitment. She's not sure what to do now. With COVID there are no official COB events, everything seems to be through word of mouth. She doesn't know if she should try to reach out directly to the sister in charge of recruitment to find out if she could be considered for COB or just let it go.

I'm not super familiar with COB rules - I rushed back in the 90s at a small college up north and I know that things are different now, but I never heard of this rule with my sorority, which is Delta Phi Epsilon. Is this a thing? That if you are cut from recruitment, you can never be offered a bid even the following semester / year?

I'm also just sad for her. I've always told her and her friends to have faith in the system and that there is a place for everyone. She went in with a super open mind and a great attitude, but it just didn't work out for her. My sorority experience was wonderful and she always hoped to be in a sorority too.
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  #2  
Old 09-23-2020, 07:43 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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I know that some chapters have a rule about this. She should call the Greek Life office and talk with the Sorority adviser. Often there is a central list and she will know whether or not there is and also which groups are doing COB...and what their schedules are.
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  #3  
Old 09-23-2020, 07:50 PM
Cheerio Cheerio is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jessyallison View Post
I'm sorry if this is long, but I'm just not sure what kind of advice to give my daughter. She is a sophomore at a medium-size state school and had an unsuccessful virtual rush this semester. She is not sure what went wrong, but she was released from all the chapters before pref round. She's been really sad about the whole situation because with COVID it is so hard to meet people and most of her friends either did not come back to campus this semester or are involved with their sororities. I told her not to dwell on this too much because we would never really know what happened and maybe the zoom format was just not optimal for her.

When the school decided to have virtual recruitment, they cut it down from 4 rounds to 3. So the cuts were harsh the first round. She found out later that most of the sororities did not make quota. Her Rho Gamma advised her that some of the groups would be doing COB because they did not make quota.

She has a good friend in one of the sororities that was doing COB and she let both the friend and her Rho Gamma know that she was insterested in COB, but the sorority sent a message through the Rho Gamma that the could not offer her a bid because they cut her in the first round and their national sorority has a rule against offering bids to anyone that they have ever cut during a previous round or recruitment. She was dissappointed but said that she did not want to give up hope because some of the other sororities would also be doing COB.

Now there is another sorority where several of her very close friends are sisters which announced that they would be doing COB. Her friends told her that they let the sister in charge of recruitment know that she was interested and that her name has been put on a list. This was over a week ago. One of the friends asked her today if anyone has contacted her and she said no. The friend said that maybe they also had a national rule about not extending bids during COB to girls who were cut earlier from recruitment. She's not sure what to do now. With COVID there are no official COB events, everything seems to be through word of mouth. She doesn't know if she should try to reach out directly to the sister in charge of recruitment to find out if she could be considered for COB or just let it go.

I'm not super familiar with COB rules - I rushed back in the 90s at a small college up north and I know that things are different now, but I never heard of this rule with my sorority, which is Delta Phi Epsilon. Is this a thing? That if you are cut from recruitment, you can never be offered a bid even the following semester / year?

I'm also just sad for her. I've always told her and her friends to have faith in the system and that there is a place for everyone. She went in with a super open mind and a great attitude, but it just didn't work out for her. My sorority experience was wonderful and she always hoped to be in a sorority too.
I'm not super familiar with the reason a pnm would be told she can't become a new member for any specific sorority if that specific sorority has a rule against offfering a bid to a student who has been previously cut during recruitment. That would be membership selection information, which ought to have stayed in-house and never told to your daughter no matter how disappointed she was with her recruitment result. Are you sure she's telling you the truth about her situation?
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  #4  
Old 09-23-2020, 08:00 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Every once in a while, this crops up. I don't know of any sororities that have that specific rule but I know some that have pledged girls they cut before and got some real jewels who had just been overlooked.

That rule would be self defeating with all the cuts that big or middle-sized sororities have to make! Often, they don't even know a lot of the girls they cut--which was the only reason they cut them. They could be wonderful members!
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  #5  
Old 09-23-2020, 08:04 PM
jessyallison jessyallison is offline
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Originally Posted by Cheerio View Post
I'm not super familiar with the reason a pnm would be told she can't become a new member for any specific sorority if that specific sorority has a rule against offfering a bid to a student who has been previously cut during recruitment. That would be membership selection information, which ought to have stayed in-house and never told to your daughter no matter how disappointed she was with her recruitment result. Are you sure she's telling you the truth about her situation?
I was surprised by this as well. This was told to her first by her friend in the sorority and then verified by her Rho Gamma. Her Rho Gamma wanted to make sure that the sorority knew that my daughter did not sign a bid card fora different sorority, which she did not since she did not make it to pref round. So her Rho Gamma spoke with the sister in charge of recruitment for the sorority and was told that per nationals they could not ever offer a bid to someone who had been previously cut. The Rho Gamma then relayed this infomation to my daughter.
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  #6  
Old 09-23-2020, 08:10 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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This might be an unwritten chapter rule that over time has morphed in the minds of its members into a national policy. EVERY national group has chapters that may have to - or want to - go back and bid girls they previously cut.

Long story short, she needs to just forget about these two groups and keep looking into the others that didnít make quota. Iím sure her friends meant well, but if they are sophomores too this is their first formal rush and they probably arenít acquainted with all the ins and outs and rules and politics. Please impress on her that what is right for them might not be right for her.
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  #7  
Old 09-23-2020, 08:46 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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You know what? It's highly unlikely that a national HQ would know that you bid a girl whom you cut last year. Nobody keeps a record of who they cut.
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  #8  
Old 09-23-2020, 09:05 PM
Sister Havana Sister Havana is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation View Post
Every once in a while, this crops up. I don't know of any sororities that have that specific rule but I know some that have pledged girls they cut before and got some real jewels who had just been overlooked.

That rule would be self defeating with all the cuts that big or middle-sized sororities have to make! Often, they don't even know a lot of the girls they cut--which was the only reason they cut them. They could be wonderful members!
All of this!
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Old 09-24-2020, 06:11 AM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Did your daughter contact the Panhellenic officer herself and ask to be included on the COB interest list? If not, she should do so, and if it doesn't work out for her this semester, then contact that office again in January. Rho Gammas, while I'm sure mean well, may not always understand the nuances of COB and may forget to pass on interested PNMs names to the office.
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Last edited by FSUZeta; 09-26-2020 at 07:13 AM.
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  #10  
Old 09-24-2020, 07:39 AM
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honeychile honeychile is offline
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Originally Posted by FSUZeta View Post
Did your daughter contact the Panhellenic officer herself and asked to be included on the COB interest list? If not, she should do so, and if it doesn't work out for her this semester, then contact that office again in January. Rho Gammas, while I'm sure mean well, may not always understand the nuances of COB and may forget to pass on interested PNMs names to the office.
This!
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Old 09-24-2020, 11:18 AM
flirt5721 flirt5721 is offline
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That's strange. Many PNMs that were cut during formal have been COBed and become great members to all chapter on the campus I advise. I have never heard of this rule and I know nationally that is not something for our chapters.

But definitely have your daughter contact the Greek Life office and let them know she is interested in COB. She can also be on the look out for COB events the chapters are hosting.
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  #12  
Old 09-25-2020, 08:55 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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There are multiple sororities on multiple campuses in my state who follow a “once cut, always cut” rule. Whether it’s an actual national policy or one these chapters have made “tradition” it definitely exists and many PNMs who withdraw their freshmen year hoping to get a bid the following year are surprised when they are cut after Open House their sophomore years.

As for what your DD should do, the best way to navigate COB is to let the campus Greek Life advisor / Panhellenic advisor know that she is interested in COB and to please share her contact info with any eligible chapters. Friends can be helpful but also sometimes not as much pull as you would think - especially if friends are sophomores. If the advisor will share which chapters are eligible for COB, it also is a nice idea to make sure she had a rec for each chapter. If she didn’t for formal, Recs are a great way to introduce a pnm to the chapter who may have been overlooked during rush.

And my #1 advice, always, for upperclassmen : keep your GPA up!!
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  #13  
Old 09-28-2020, 10:32 AM
BlueBayou BlueBayou is offline
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You don't mention grades. Frequently that is a major factor in round one cuts. Is she following all the sororities on Instagram? That is where my daughter's sorority (A few years old and just graduated their founding members- so they still COB each semester) posts their COB event info. I know many sororities are not as public about their COB events - but some are.
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