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  #1  
Old 07-27-2018, 11:27 AM
OldFLDDD OldFLDDD is offline
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Twins???

My daughter, who will be going through recruitment this fall (summer), has heard from various friends that "twins" are a thing with numerous houses these days--there are not enough willing big sisters to go around, so some take on two and call them "twins". Is this really a thing now?! In one friend's case, the big sister clearly favored the other twin and did things with her all the time/showered her with affection and didn't give my daughter's friend the time of day, and she eventually dropped out of her GLO. Hearing stories like this really freak my D out. I feel so bad for her friend that this happened--and I was honestly shocked that the "twin" thing even exists. In my day, so many people wanted to be Big Sisters that there were not enough pledges to go around and many (myself included) had to wait a year to get a little sis.
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Old 07-27-2018, 12:09 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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A lot of chapters are putting stiffer requirements on people who want to take littles - no debt, certain percentage of events attended, etc. The concept is good because theoretically women who are the most involved won’t blow off their littles and will set a good example. The downside is the occasional favortism you mentioned.

If that many women are ineligible to take littles, then the sorority/chapter should re-evaluate its requirements or reevaluate its members.

Another issue is that as with many things, the amount of $$ you spend is a factor. Some people go crazy showering their littles with gifts and if you look at that and can’t afford it, you might just say forget it. That’s when it’s time to be un-fun and standardize the gifts that are given. Again, if that many women are opting out of littles that twins IN THE SAME PLEDGE CLASS are a thing, something is wrong.
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Old 07-27-2018, 01:57 PM
GreekOne GreekOne is offline
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I think 33girl hit the nail on the head. From what I have seen, the cost associated with all the gifts is making fewer women want to take littles. It really is a shame that being a great mentor and friend is taking a back seat to buying baskets full of stuff.
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Old 07-27-2018, 02:16 PM
TweedleDee199 TweedleDee199 is offline
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I'm a twin. I took twins. One of my twins took twins. My chapter grew so much while I was there that was it was usually necessary. I've seen it go poorly, but mostly it wasn't a problem. Families exist to help you build connections within the chapter, and being shy as I was, I really appreciated having a twin relationship with someone in my pledge class.
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Old 07-27-2018, 02:46 PM
flirt5721 flirt5721 is offline
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I have seen where there are plenty of members willing to take on a little but are not in good standing at the time due to financial, academic, social, merit, or other reasons. The chapter I advise has become more strict in the requirements t be a big.

Sometimes I have also seen members decline a little due to the cost of gifts. It got to the point where the chapter has a set of specific gifts to give to their littles. Only those are to be presented during big/little week. If the big chooses to give other gifts they may do so after big little week.
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Old 07-27-2018, 03:28 PM
OldFLDDD OldFLDDD is offline
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Wow. This is all very enlightening. I'd never heard of it. I agree the the "showering of gifts" just seems unnecessary and I like the idea of a chapter having a set number/type of gifts so that nobody feels like others are being treated differently than they are. Just seems a little over the top to me. Back when I was pledging, the big sisters did little things here and there--some hit it off big-time with their big/little sisters, which I was envious of, and others did not, and then there were total deadbeats like mine who didn't even show up for my initiation! I would not have left my organization due to a slacker big sister, however.
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Old 07-27-2018, 03:52 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OldFLDDD View Post
Wow. This is all very enlightening. I'd never heard of it. I agree the the "showering of gifts" just seems unnecessary and I like the idea of a chapter having a set number/type of gifts so that nobody feels like others are being treated differently than they are. Just seems a little over the top to me. Back when I was pledging, the big sisters did little things here and there--some hit it off big-time with their big/little sisters, which I was envious of, and others did not, and then there were total deadbeats like mine who didn't even show up for my initiation! I would not have left my organization due to a slacker big sister, however.
I don't know about all schools, but sorority membership and activities (read: $$$ spent) at some places I'm familiar with are over the top IMHO. It starts with Bid Day where I've seen chapters put on parties that rival what Martha Stewart would do, plus the actives wearing costumers galore, etc. and parents sending "support gifts" during the week and Bid Day Baskets on Bid Day.

I know chapters with either brand new houses or newly renovated houses have higher dues so add that to all the showering of gifts, clothes for parties, etc. and you could have a hefty bill. I think this is possibly contributing to some high de-activation rates I've heard about at some chapters, especially for out-of-state girls whose parents are already paying higher tuition, etc.
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  #8  
Old 07-27-2018, 08:05 PM
phoenix16 phoenix16 is offline
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Twins are a very common thing in my chapter, at the school, and among friends at other schools. Most often they are in the same new member class because of the varying sizes of the classes that come through. Take out the women who are ineligible to be a big sister or choose not to (very few in this category), and the number of bigs is less than the number of littles. Of course, some years it's the reverse and some bigs go without. It really depends on the year. We take an informal class every year, even if we had a large formal class. This especially can skew the numbers. Occasionally there will be a set of twins from different classes, but it's not as common.

As far as the favoritism goes, I know that for our chapter you have to accept twins. They aren't just randomly assigned. This helps prevent cases where a woman can't afford two littles at a time or does not want two littles.
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  #9  
Old 07-27-2018, 08:44 PM
DiWantstoTravel DiWantstoTravel is offline
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My daughter had twins and it worked out well, but I think it requires some active management and oversight from the chapter. This was not a surprise; due to the large number of girls going thru recruitment the chapter projected that there would be 4-5 sets of twin little sisters. These were not randomly assigned either. She did call me once and was upset that she couldn't afford to shower them with as many gifts. I suggested she focus on the experiences - study breaks at Sonic, the best places on campus to do things, etc. Her twin littles were good friends also and from what I saw at parent's day & on social media they all enjoyed the relationship.

I don't mean to suggest these are always good experiences, just that they aren't automatically bad.
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  #10  
Old 07-27-2018, 11:24 PM
APhi2KD APhi2KD is offline
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My daughter’s twin just arrived for the weekend! <3

It has worked out great for them, although I don’t think anyone starts out thinking they want to be a twin. But as the clues came in, my daughter was texted by her twin and they became pretty sure and got excited because they both got the big they wanted.

Their big was a senior and has gone alum already after their first year, but they have a family bond and are going to be making crafts for their future littles this weekend.

It’s also been wonderful because they’re SO different they would not have normally connected, but they did and love each other. They are doing stuff with my dd’s friend group tonight and her twin’s group tomorrow.

And everything my dd gets for her little (she’s been collecting stuff for months) she gets two of, or yin/yang things in case she gets twins.

It can actually be a lot of fun!!

Edited to add: she’s not going over the top—she just sees a cute frame, tiny phrase book, cup with her letters, etc and gets it. Then it won’t hit her all at once and the last-minute things will be geared toward her little’s actually personality. She’s not at a wealthy school, anyway, and overboard would stand out.
If you want to see overboard/why some can’t afford it, hit Pinterest.

Last edited by APhi2KD; 07-27-2018 at 11:34 PM. Reason: Addition
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  #11  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:04 PM
AGDee AGDee is offline
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I had twins back in 1985. Nothing new here. We had 15 members and took 19 new members. A few of us had to take twins. Interestingly, one of my twins and I hit it off immediately and were close right away. But the other twin ended up breaking her leg and having to leave school that term. She returned the next term. She and I never really clicked that year but ended up as roommates the next year. She ended up being my closest friend ever- my maid of honor (twice) and still my "go to person" to this day. I'm in touch with the other twin, but we are not nearly as close.
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  #12  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:42 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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I think thereís a big difference between having twins because there are flat out more pledges than sisters, and having twins because too many sisters donít want to take littles due to expense, or arenít permitted to take littles because they donít meet the requirements.
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  #13  
Old 07-28-2018, 03:41 PM
KSUViolet06 KSUViolet06 is offline
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I have been out of school for a long time. I know twin sets who are literally best friends now, at 10+ years post-college.
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