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Old 09-04-2017, 11:06 AM
elicampbell elicampbell is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 202
This is way out of my lane, please stay with me. You were given a bid to a group that wanted you. Yes, THEY WANTED YOU. This group saw something in you that the others did not see. They can see you as a valuable member. Others have told you this, you have two choices, stay or go. If you stay, thrive where you are planted.

When dirt was new, I went through Rush. I wanted to be a member of Phi Delta Theta, I was not given that opportunity. I was a grade risk for the chapter. Later I was given a bid to SigEP. They saw my qualities and guessed I would be a good member. Years Later I am an sort of active alumnus.
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Old 09-04-2017, 11:22 AM
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thetalady thetalady is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Big D
Posts: 2,654
Originally Posted by AZTheta View Post
You are constructing artificial barriers to developing great friendships.
Just completely spot on advice, and I'm not just saying that! I really hope the OP is reading all of these pearls of wisdom.
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Old 09-04-2017, 08:47 PM
dvs-dz dvs-dz is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 151
Years ago, I joined my second choice. Yes, it hurt not to get my first choice, but I put my big girl pants on and enjoyed the sisterhood that chose me.

It was a good decision. I just came back from my annual reunion with 5 of my pledge sisters (and very best, closest friends). We have been getting together every year since we graduated. Not bad, considering we met 40 years ago.
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Old 09-05-2017, 12:09 AM
ASTalumna06 ASTalumna06 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Oahu, Hawaii
Posts: 5,727
Interesting timing. One of my sorority sisters just shared this quote on Facebook:

"It's easy to join a sorority. It's not easy to stay. We need to stop minimizing our expectations of our members. Like all relationships, if it is going to have meaning, it is going to take work." - Mari Ann Callais
I believe in the values of friendship and fidelity to purpose

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Old 09-05-2017, 01:21 PM
luv n tpa luv n tpa is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 310
Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 View Post
Interesting timing. One of my sorority sisters just shared this quote on Facebook:

"It's easy to join a sorority. It's not easy to stay. We need to stop minimizing our expectations of our members. Like all relationships, if it is going to have meaning, it is going to take work." - Mari Ann Callais
You can always count on MAC for great words of wisdom.
* theta phi alpha *
nothing great is ever achieved
without much enduring
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Old 09-05-2017, 01:44 PM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 85
I joined my only choice. I rushed back when there were five rounds (and pre-RFM so no guaranteed bids or even guaranteed invitations to "Open House") and for the first three rounds, I had a perfect rush going. The fourth round, I went from 6 (?) invitations down to 1 and it just rocked my world. I didn't mourn the loss of one chapter like OP but all of them. The chapter I had left was strong and a "contender" (in my naive little pnm brain) but I didn't have my heart set on it, but with a perfect rush up to that point, it had never occurred to me that I wouldn't be choosing which sorority I wanted.

Luckily I finished the week and got a bid after all. But I still wasn't sure on Bid Day nor for the whole first year really. My big sis was a junior and that didn't help make friends in my pledge class where almost every other girl's big was a sophomore and they would hang out in groups together. I went ahead and initiated because 1) sophomores didn't stand a chance at re-rushing at my campus and 2) I knew DG was well regarded both on campus and nationally. Yes, it never occurs to PNM's that even new members in "selective" chapters feel unsure and like they don't quite fit in.

So what changed? I made a last minute decision to apply to live in the house as a sophomore. It.Changed.Everything. When you live, sleep, get ready, leave for class, watch tv, etc with 50ish sorority sisters, you just make friends. At the urging of some of the seniors, I ended up running for an office and later went onto our exec board my junior year. By my senior year, I was the "go to" member to counsel anyone who was considering resigning. I never considered resigning myself because my parents strongly believed in the lifetime membership benefits but I definitely was the poster child for going from "wallflower" to "super DG."

Hang in there, OP! It may feel like everyone already has a group but many are just "faking it until they make it." My advice is to sign up for everything you can within your chapter (intramurals, volunteer work, painting banners for homecoming, lunch at the house, a low-level officer position, etc) even if you don't know how to paint or play dodgeball. Just GO! And be friendly and positive once you're there. Eventually you'll find your place. Chapters are pretty good at identifying the types of girls who will be successful members so take comfort in knowing the older girls in your chapter think you're 110% going to make a great member!
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Old 09-11-2017, 01:57 PM
Tom Earp Tom Earp is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Kansas City, Kansas USA
Posts: 22,898
Golly gee whiz, did not get favorite choice. Being a bit sarcastic here of course, but there was a group who really wanted you which to me is important!

Not every GLO is good on all campuses but strong on some. Some as Nationals are bigger and older than some.

Question, is the GLO that offered a bid a good group of girls? Did you enjoy being with them? Are they a good National?

While I am guy, the local I started in 1965, 7 of the of the original (16) guys were from other GLOs, but did not work out so, they came to find a new group. Today, we have the best GPA some years running, the largest house building, more active than any other GLO on campus, strong in campus activities and leadership. We also have a very strong Alumni group who gather for many events through out the year either on campus or where we live. Each game has a gathering of Alumni with a tailgate at the Stadiam (?) with a BBQ on real big grills.

Hey, you really find out that this is the path you should follow! The key would be if you are happy!

LX Z # 1
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Old 09-12-2017, 11:34 PM
kitekat kitekat is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
Not my lane, but Try not approaching this sorority the same way my 75 year old father approaches eating sushi. If you've decided that you don't like it before you really experience it, that'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is my favorite piece of advice on this forum yet
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