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  #1  
Old 09-10-2017, 05:00 PM
Lilymaddy Lilymaddy is offline
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What to do after being dropped by every house?

I am a freshman at a big state school where Greek life is not very competitive (roughly 13% of undergrads are involved). I decided to rush, even though it was a little out of my comfort zone. There are 12 and we had the potential to get invited back by up to eight chapters for second rounds. The morning of second rounds I got a call from my rho gamma sayig I didn't get invited back by any houses. I understand recruitment is tough, but I'm a little confused as to why I was immediately dropped by every house and didn't even have a chance to continue on in the process. I really felt like I had some good conversations with many of the women at many of the houses. I thought for sure at least a few would see a potential match. I thought I dressed super cute and acted true to myself... I didn't have any recs, but they're not that important at my school so I didn't think they would be a huge deal, especially since I wasn't looking to specifically get into one of the more competitive chapters on my campus. I avoided talking about the 5 "b's" (although one girl asked me where my glasses were from and I answered, so I guess I violated the no talking about brands rule). So my questions are: what could have gone wrong? Should I even bother trying with spring recruitment or COB if none of the houses wanted me this first time? Thanks!

Quick information:
GPA: 3.9, national merit finalist
Service Hours: 200+
Extra-Curriculars: Research, music (7 instruments), photography, volunteering, working 2 jobs


Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 09-10-2017, 05:07 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Obviously recs are needed there. And I know for a fact that some groups require them and with almost half the NPC groups on your campus,the odds that about half of those require them is very good. If you haven't talked with your GreekAdviser about what might have happened, I'd strongly suggest that you do.
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  #3  
Old 09-10-2017, 05:13 PM
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IndianaSigKap IndianaSigKap is offline
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First of all OP, I want you to know that I am impressed with your positive attitude given the circumstance. I want to echo the advice you received above about recs. It's still not too late to get them. I know that I have written recs for COB in a few situations. Talk with your Greek Advisor and find out which, if any, chapters might still be below campus total after recruitment. Seek recs for those chapters.

Ask you teachers from high school, your friends' parents, your parents' friends, people in your community, etc and find some recs for the chapters on your campus. You have the GPA, you seem to be the type of person who will get involved on your campus as you did in high school.

Best wishes you to you!
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  #4  
Old 09-10-2017, 05:45 PM
DubaiSis DubaiSis is offline
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Think back on your conversations. Were they really good? Did you have trouble warming up to them? Were you visibly nervous? It's ok to be nervous and sometimes unavoidable but with the way rush works the chapters need to cut down to a certain number and they may just not have had room to give you the benefit of the doubt.

Then, talk to the Greek Life office. There may be opportunities for Continuous Open Bidding still this fall. But more importantly than that, work at becoming friends with sorority women. Don't be creepy or stalkery but join study groups, get in clubs, be friendly with the women you encounter in your day to day life, do stuff with the gals on your dorm floor. When opportunities open up in the future, those are the women who will be your best bet.

Look on the NPC Recruitment & Chapter Listing: Fall 2017-Spring 2018 thread. If all of the chapters show pledge class numbers, did all of them make quota? The one/s that didn't may still have spots to fill this fall. And whether you would be an option for them would depend on why you were cut. If you just weren't high enough on their list, they may be glad to have you back now. If you were actually cut, then trying again isn't really going to help much. But nobody is going to be able to tell you in which category you fell.

Keep your chin up, keep that attitude positive, work on your social skills, and give it another shot, either right away, in the spring or next fall.
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  #5  
Old 09-10-2017, 07:26 PM
ladybug12 ladybug12 is offline
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OK, I will give this thread a bite.

Something does not add up. Freshman with great grades and community service hours. Although rushing is out of her comfort zone.

Released after first round by all 12 NPC sororities. Very unusual. My instinct is that maybe conversations were not decent as Lilymaddy says or there are social media issues. I am not being judegmental...it is just VERY rare for a smart, service minded PNM with good social skills to be released by every group after the first round.
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  #6  
Old 09-10-2017, 07:37 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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It is very odd....there is probably more to the story but I'm going to go with the no recs as the issue for now....
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  #7  
Old 09-10-2017, 09:05 PM
DiWantstoTravel DiWantstoTravel is offline
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Recs are more important than you think, even if Greek Life says they are "not required" of PNMs. For some groups, maybe for a majority of the ones on your campus, there may be so many young women signed up for recruitment that this is the easiest first cut. Don't be fooled by thinking the Greek system at your school is not competitive. When you have that many chapters on a campus it is competitive, even if it's not at SEC level competition.

If you are a freshman, COB either now or in the Spring is your best option. You are obviously intelligent and a scholar, so use your research skills and read through the stickied threads about all the vagaries of recruitment.

If you are in your school's Honor's College you will have some chances to meet women in Greek orgs in smaller, more natural settings. Also, you may find that sorority women in your classes seem to run in packs. Try to find settings where friendships can develop naturally rather than trying to insert yourself into an existing group.

Last edited by DiWantstoTravel; 09-10-2017 at 10:34 PM. Reason: grammar/spelling correction
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  #8  
Old 09-10-2017, 10:29 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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There's no such thing as rush at a big state school (I assume this means University of _______ or ________ State University) that isn't competitive. There just isn't.
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  #9  
Old 09-11-2017, 09:08 AM
PearlGirl13 PearlGirl13 is offline
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LilyMaddy,

I'm sorry you had such a disappointing recruitment and impressed that you are seeking feedback and quickly regrouping!

Early cuts are typically either due to grades (sounds like you are good there) or first impressions. First impressions are typically impacted by either conversations and/or appearance so let's think about those two.

Conversations - you are seeking a "Goldilocks" level of conversation. Not too much chatter and not too little. Have a few interesting questions ready to go in case there is a lull. If the sister asks you a question follow up with an answer that provides some more information so it doesn't end there.
Ex: Her - What is your major? You - Biology, but I'm not sure yet if I'm interested in veterinary medicine or research. I loved volunteering at the pet rescue this summer!

Practice this sort of thing so you get good at keeping the conversation moving!

Appearance: You definitely don't have to be a 5'7", 115 lb blonde Barbie, but you do need to look put together! Make sure your clothes are flattering and altered to fit your body. Hem those pants and sleeves if needed. Buy the best size for you. Choose outfits that are consistent with what other women are wearing but still reflect your style. You are shooting for nothing too shabby, boring or crazy. Again - ask some friends for input if you are unsure!

Good luck!
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  #10  
Old 09-11-2017, 09:33 AM
TXDG TXDG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PearlGirl13 View Post
LilyMaddy,

I'm sorry you had such a disappointing recruitment and impressed that you are seeking feedback and quickly regrouping!

Early cuts are typically either due to grades (sounds like you are good there) or first impressions. First impressions are typically impacted by either conversations and/or appearance so let's think about those two.

Conversations - you are seeking a "Goldilocks" level of conversation. Not too much chatter and not too little. Have a few interesting questions ready to go in case there is a lull. If the sister asks you a question follow up with an answer that provides some more information so it doesn't end there.
Ex: Her - What is your major? You - Biology, but I'm not sure yet if I'm interested in veterinary medicine or research. I loved volunteering at the pet rescue this summer!

Practice this sort of thing so you get good at keeping the conversation moving!

Appearance: You definitely don't have to be a 5'7", 115 lb blonde Barbie, but you do need to look put together! Make sure your clothes are flattering and altered to fit your body. Hem those pants and sleeves if needed. Buy the best size for you. Choose outfits that are consistent with what other women are wearing but still reflect your style. You are shooting for nothing too shabby, boring or crazy. Again - ask some friends for input if you are unsure!

Good luck!
The other major factors in early cuts are recs and reputation. OP naively made the correlation that only 13% of the campus being Greek meant recruitment was uncompetitive. There still could have been 1000+ pnms registered for recruitment. Grades and not having a rec are the easiest two things to release women for in early rounds and those pnms being released for grades or no rec were probably on the release list before they even walked into the chapter for Open House. Chapters know a ballpark 1st round release number based on the number of pnms registered and their historical returns and typically have that first release list draft ready before recruitment begins.

Then there is reputation. In the age of social media, it's easy for chapters to "research" pnms on Instagram, SnapChat, etc. I think OP should take a hard look at the image she is projecting on social media to ensure it's how she wants to be seen.

It is pretty rare for a 4.0 pnm to be released by all chapters after Open House so something big went terribly wrong in her situation.
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  #11  
Old 09-11-2017, 04:51 PM
Cheerio Cheerio is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilymaddy View Post
I am a freshman at a big state school where Greek life is not very competitive (roughly 13% of undergrads are involved). I decided to rush, even though it was a little out of my comfort zone. There are 12 and we had the potential to get invited back by up to eight chapters for second rounds. The morning of second rounds I got a call from my rho gamma sayig I didn't get invited back by any houses. I understand recruitment is tough, but I'm a little confused as to why I was immediately dropped by every house and didn't even have a chance to continue on in the process. I really felt like I had some good conversations with many of the women at many of the houses. I thought for sure at least a few would see a potential match. I thought I dressed super cute and acted true to myself... I didn't have any recs, but they're not that important at my school so I didn't think they would be a huge deal, especially since I wasn't looking to specifically get into one of the more competitive chapters on my campus. I avoided talking about the 5 "b's" (although one girl asked me where my glasses were from and I answered, so I guess I violated the no talking about brands rule). So my questions are: what could have gone wrong? Should I even bother trying with spring recruitment or COB if none of the houses wanted me this first time? Thanks!

Quick information:
GPA: 3.9, national merit finalist
Service Hours: 200+
Extra-Curriculars: Research, music (7 instruments), photography, volunteering, working 2 jobs



Thanks!
Lilymaddy, while we do not know you or your campus you have been given good advice above.

I notice you may be working two jobs while attending college. Might that heavily interfere with your first semester adjustment to college life?

Are you also on a campus far away from home, where you may more easily become homesick?

Sometimes first recruitment convos can reflect your concerns about college more than you realize and give pause to the sorority women involved. They do not want to be a cause of your poor educational performance by adding the burden of sorority involvement to what they consider vulnerable students.

Please do not hesitate to re-rush in the future after your school life is more routine you have undertaken more self-evaluation as described in all our GC advice here.
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  #12  
Old 09-11-2017, 05:12 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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When I saw that you work 2 jobs a red flag popped up which made me wonder if it did for the sororities. I wondered if they were afraid that you might have too many obligations.
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  #13  
Old 09-11-2017, 05:12 PM
navane navane is offline
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If there were 12 chapters at your school and 13% of students are Greek, then it sounds like your campus has a pretty decent-sized recruitment. It may or may not be seen as competitive; but, I'd still venture to say that you might have underestimated the importance of recommendations. For example, a lot of Panhellenic websites won't specifically say that recs are required; but, then some come right out and list the names of the chapters, their addresses and links to the sorority recommendation forms.

Since you sound like you've done a lot of volunteering and research, I bet you know a lot sorority women through school, church, sports, neighbors, etc. Find those sorority women and see if they can write a rec for you next time. Recs are great because they are able to highlight all of your great accomplishments in the letter.

Also, if you have any mitigating factors, like say you have a huge, noticeable scar on your leg from a car accident or something, the rec writer can mention how you overcame the situation to be a successful student. Or, if you're typically kind of shy, your rec writer can mention that you're a bit quiet, but have a really sweet personality and good heart. Get it? That way you might not have to announce, "I tore my leg in a car accident" or "I'm sorry...I"m not sure what to say, I'm shy" at every round.

BUT, you still have to put in the effort, as others have mentioned, to come across as polished and conversational. You did say that going through recruitment was out of your comfort zone and so your demeanor may have reflected that.

Take this year to get involved on campus and make lots of friends. You can always try again during continuous open bidding in the spring (if slots are available) or again next fall. Good luck!
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  #14  
Old 09-11-2017, 06:10 PM
Lilymaddy Lilymaddy is offline
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Smile

Thank you everyone who has responded and given me feedback. A few extra details:

Yes, my social media is completely clean. I've never even attended a party.
I worked two jobs in high school but won't be working two jobs in college.
Knowing I can be shy, I watched a lot of advice videos and really put myself out there and tried to always have a smile on my face. Even though I'm shy, I've worked in customer service for a couple of years so I'd like to think I am a decent conversationalist. I guess it probably did come down to recs. I was afraid to ask people in my life for recs because I knew they'd judge me (especially my mom, whom I did not tell I was rushing until after I had registered) for being interested in greek life.

The outfit suggestions for the day were shorts and a t-shirt, jeans and a tank top, or a casual dress. Here's what I wore:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/wit-wisd...lusive/4021192

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lush-cho...r=VIOLET%20ICE

Anyway, thanks again everyone.
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  #15  
Old 09-11-2017, 06:46 PM
Titchou Titchou is offline
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Judge you??? For networking for a rec? Why on earth would you think that? If they were Greek they'd be thrilled! I love being asked to do them!!!! What an honor to be asked.

Have you been to the Greek adviser yet?
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