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  #16  
Old 09-08-2017, 05:00 PM
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AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMom2 View Post
Can you defer sorority membership after you have been through rush and accepted a bid? She is going to call us tonight after she finishes some of her homework to talk about all of this. She really was getting excited about her sorority after step show auditions, so I hate to see her give it up, especially if this is just an unusually busy week with the sorority.
Probably NOT a good idea, mom.

Sounds like your daughter may need to develop time management and independence skills.

Maybe she needs to drop calculus.
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  #17  
Old 09-08-2017, 05:36 PM
FSUZeta FSUZeta is offline
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Originally Posted by thetalady View Post
I don't understand why this optional step show is even on the table. it is WAYYYY down the list of priorities and will take up a lot of her time. I understand it is fun, she was excited to be chosen, etc. Doesn't sound like she has the time for it right now. It is time for her to start learning to prioritize what is important.
Yes! The step show will consume A LOT of time. It's not mandatory, and is something she will have three more years to participate in. She should drop it.

As to can membership be deferred-not that I am aware of. And if this campus is a big Greek campus, this year might be her best bet for sorority membership.

Daughter can't drop calculus-it's a 5 hour class and she is taking 15 hours, so she would be at 10 hours, which would disqualify her for sorority membership.
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  #18  
Old 09-08-2017, 07:54 PM
*winter* *winter* is offline
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As for calculus, having tutoring really helped me. It narrowed down my focus and helped me save a lot of time trying to explain it to myself while studying, if that makes sense. The school provided ours for free and she was excellent.
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  #19  
Old 09-08-2017, 08:05 PM
QueenD QueenD is offline
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Originally Posted by FSUZeta View Post
Yes! The step show will consume A LOT of time. It's not mandatory, and is something she will have three more years to participate in. She should drop it.

As to can membership be deferred-not that I am aware of. And if this campus is a big Greek campus, this year might be her best bet for sorority membership.

Daughter can't drop calculus-it's a 5 hour class and she is taking 15 hours, so she would be at 10 hours, which would disqualify her for sorority membership.
FSUZeta, I'd be careful about making blanket statements on how many hous a student must have to qualify for sorority membership. This varies by organization and campus. I know multiple orgs where dropped below 12 hours would not necessarily disqualify someone from participating. That said, I do think it would be better for the NM in question to consider dropping Step team if something has to give instead of dropping calc since getting behind on math can throw your whole academic plan off in many majors.
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  #20  
Old 09-08-2017, 09:09 PM
jolene jolene is offline
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Originally Posted by QueenD View Post
FSUZeta, I'd be careful about making blanket statements on how many hous a student must have to qualify for sorority membership. This varies by organization and campus. I know multiple orgs where dropped below 12 hours would not necessarily disqualify someone from participating. That said, I do think it would be better for the NM in question to consider dropping Step team if something has to give instead of dropping calc since getting behind on math can throw your whole academic plan off in many majors.
This. There were some semesters I only took 10 hours because the other class I may have needed wasn't offered that semester.
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  #21  
Old 09-09-2017, 10:31 AM
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AZTheta AZTheta is offline
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Some NPC sororities may have no spelled out or specific requirement for the number of hours any member has to take to be an active.

True story: once upon a time, at least two actives in an NPC sorority (not saying which one so don't assume it's mine, you guys know I have a lot of NPC friends) dropped all but one class. And remained active. But not for long. Because you still have to make grades with one class, you know. And when you do that for a couple of semesters, while you're partying and generally out of control, things catch up with you. And things caught up with both of them. From both the University and their NPC sorority.

Too bad so sad.
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  #22  
Old 09-09-2017, 11:46 AM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Like others here, I highly recommend that your daughter does not drop out - I think that would be a decision she would later regret. I'm not an expert but I've not heard of a sorority that allowed "deferred membership".

Time to cut back on what's not required (dance thing), get a tutor and learn time management. Many girls struggle their first semester, even those without such demanding classes as calculus.

And not sure re-rushing as a sophomore would be successful, especially if she's at a Greek intensive school. Plus some sororities have a "once cut, always cut" policy so she'd be automatically cut by any houses that cut her the first time she went through rush.
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  #23  
Old 09-09-2017, 05:12 PM
HappyMom2 HappyMom2 is offline
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Thanks everyone. I only asked about deferring membership because someone in one of the responses recommended it. I hadn't heard of that before, but hoped that was an option. She is very independent and good at time management, but if the time isn't there, it isn't. She can only study at night and on the weekend due to her job during the day. And the weekends so far have been busy with sorority activities. I don't want to see her have to give it up, but she is there to get a degree and hopefully get into a good graduate program. Yes, she can give up step show and maybe that will help. I hope so!
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  #24  
Old 09-09-2017, 06:30 PM
PhilTau PhilTau is offline
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Originally Posted by HappyMom2 View Post
I don't want to see her have to give it up, but she is there to get a degree and hopefully get into a good graduate program.
I think I may be the one that mentioned deferring - assuming your daughter attends a school with a more laid-back Greek system where she could just drop and join later. I thought it was something worth mentioning.

"[H]opefully get into a good graduate program." And again, we don't know exactly what you mean by this. Does she aspire to get into a PhD/fellowship program at a major university? Or get an MBA at Anywhere U? If her goal is closer to the former, to be competitive, most people with such a goal must sacrifice any outside activity that interferes with either their grades or their ability spend the time to ingratiate themselves with the professors in their major. Undergraduate grades are everything -- everyone competing for such academic opportunities has them. If they don't have them, they simply do not compete.

I do not wish to see your daughter give up her sorority and hope that she does not. Nevertheless, one of the biggest hurdles people encounter early in college is the fact they are held to adult standards that, from a purely academic standpoint, are very unforgiving and, in some instances, life altering.
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