D&R Random

[AlwaysSAI]

Dear Mr. 40 Days,

We broke up when I was still in college.....almost 4 years ago, I believe. Why is it that you still text me??? For years you have randomly texted me, "I love you", "I miss you", "I'm sorry" to which I never, ever, ever respond. EVER. When we dated you were.....31 (I think), so now you're what, 35 or 36. After I asked you to leave me alone and you didn't catch the hint, my thought was that if I ignored you and ignored you and ignored you--you were old enough to catch the hint.

So, last night, you decided it is a good idea to send me text message after text message begging me to talk to you. And then, when I don't respond you call me TWICE and leave me TWO voice mails. Seriously, dude. Grow up and get over it. You wanted to end it and now it's over (and has been for quite some time) so deal with the consequences. Seriously.

And anyway, I was busy spending time with my boyfriend to talk to you. Did it ever cross your mind that you might be interrupting something?! Seriously.

Seriously,
AlwaysSAI

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Iota Man

I wouldn't be surprised if you were for real, though LOL.

lol
Well, kind of. I just said that, because based on the first post about him, I could just tell he was lacking confidence, that's all (but that's my opinion, though). I mean, every woman has their own preferences when it comes to guys, but guys that lack confidence (to me) are a turn off because they're passive, and passive guys are not just passive with pursuing women, they're passive with everything else, too. I just don't respect guys like that, and I just can't desire a man I don't respect. To each its own, though.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

lol
Well, kind of. I just said that, because based on the first post about him, I could just tell he was lacking confidence, that's all (but that's my opinion, though). I mean, every woman has their own preferences when it comes to guys, but guys that lack confidence (to me) are a turn off because they're passive, and passive guys are not just passive with pursuing women, they're passive with everything else, too. I just don't respect guys like that, and I just can't desire a man I don't respect. To each its own, though.

He definitely lacks confidence and it is grating on my nerves.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

He definitely lacks confidence and it is grating on my nerves.

Hahaha Dee, you can't do a man always screaming "LOVE ME, LOVE ME, LOVE ME!!!"

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I didn't respond to that last text of his last night for several reasons:
a) he knew I was at a wedding so why was he sending me texts? This bothered me.
b) I didn't know how to respond to that last one.

This morning, I sent a text that said-

"That last one was just wrong on so many levels!"

He proceeded to apologize for making me mad. I told him I wasn't mad, but that was gross. He apologized again and said he was just trying to be funny. I said I had hoped that he was trying to be funny. He apologized AGAIN and again and again.. overkill!

He sounds like a corny loser!

I don't like insecure men. In my experience, insecurity comes out in the form of cockiness. It also comes in the form of using big words excessively and incorrectly, and bragging about things that are pointless. I got some real doozies from online dudes:

"I am receiving my B.A. in technology from one of New Jersey's best universities."

WHAT IS THIS, A RESUME COVER LETTER? To make matters lamer, he was definitely going to DeVry's Newark campus or some nonsense like that. Plus, he was 38.

My response:

"Isn't Princeton lovely in the spring?" (Yes, I'm an asshole. Don't act like you didn't know.)

I learned to code my profile as not to attract that demographic, and then I just learned to disable my profile.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

He definitely lacks confidence and it is grating on my nerves.

A man knows what he wants when he sees it, and if he is confident in the skin that he is in, he will pursue it. And he will do this by being himself, without the unnecessary, dumb, childish games (one liners), and "booger" comparisons. If he is getting on your nerves, you should stop responding to his text messages, file him away, and move on to the next man -hopefully one who is secure with himself. Easy peasy, Dee.

[Iota Man]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I am definitely not into games or lines. I think this guy is trying to be funny and, at first, he was... but he's worn out the joke.

I was fuckn with you. But for real, where are you finding these dudes you've been kickin with? So far, all of them have been lame as hell.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

lol
Well, kind of. I just said that, because based on the first post about him, I could just tell he was lacking confidence, that's all (but that's my opinion, though). I mean, every woman has their own preferences when it comes to guys, but guys that lack confidence (to me) are a turn off because they're passive, and passive guys are not just passive with pursuing women, they're passive with everything else, too. I just don't respect guys like that, and I just can't desire a man I don't respect. To each its own, though.

I feel you. Me and my girl had a conversation about this early when we were just dating. I think most females look for a dude who's confident and secure with himself. Everybody has some insecurities, that just comes from being human, but I feel what you're saying.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

And he will do this by being himself, without the unnecessary, dumb, childish games (one liners), and "booger" comparisons.

LOL this is some funny ass shit. Cheerful is hard on a dude, goddamn, LOL.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Iota Man

I was fuckn with you. But for real, where are you finding these dudes you've been kickin with? So far, all of them have been lame as hell.


I feel you. Me and my girl had a conversation about this early when we were just dating. I think most females look for a dude who's confident and secure with himself. Everybody has some insecurities, that just comes from being human, but I feel what you're saying.


LOL this is some funny ass shit. Cheerful is hard on a dude, goddamn, LOL.

This one is from Plenty of Fish. So is the Printer Guy, who, by the way, is much more appropriate in his interactions. He is not sending texts every hour, but is touching base. He sent a text today just asking how I am and reminding me that he wants to meet in person when my schedule allows it. I haven't posted much about him because the interactions aren't "entertaining" for a thread, but he seems very normal. He very directly said that he wants to get to know me because he admires that I have direction in my life and know what I want.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

"I am receiving my B.A. in technology from one of New Jersey's best universities."

WHAT IS THIS, A RESUME COVER LETTER? To make matters lamer, he was definitely going to DeVry's Newark campus or some nonsense like that. Plus, he was 38.

My response:

"Isn't Princeton lovely in the spring?" (Yes, I'm an asshole. Don't act like you didn't know.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers to DeVry, Class of February.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Iota Man

I feel you. Me and my girl had a conversation about this early when we were just dating. I think most females look for a dude who's confident and secure with himself. Everybody has some insecurities, that just comes from being human, but I feel what you're saying.

I agree, everyone is insecure about something. But, I can only speak for me, I can't speak for other women. I just believe that as a couple, the two of you (in general) should be secure in one another. I mean, it's just that I wouldn't feel secure with a man who's passive and lacking confidence. I didn't have a father like that, so therefore, I'm not going to choose a partner like that, either.

Originally Posted by Iota Man

LOL this is some funny ass shit. Cheerful is hard on a dude, goddamn, LOL.

lol
I'm not, really. I'm actually very easy going. It's just that everyone has their own standards. I mean, I just think that if you (in general) find yourself with someone who is not in agreement with you (in general), then it's only going to be the beginning of difficulty for both of you. You're only going to consider that person a hindrance rather than a help, and who wants that?

[Iota Man]

Originally Posted by AGDee

This one is from Plenty of Fish. So is the Printer Guy, who, by the way, is much more appropriate in his interactions. He is not sending texts every hour, but is touching base. He sent a text today just asking how I am and reminding me that he wants to meet in person when my schedule allows it. I haven't posted much about him because the interactions aren't "entertaining" for a thread, but he seems very normal. He very directly said that he wants to get to know me because he admires that I have direction in my life and know what I want.

Same site that hooked me up with Brandi. Just based on your posts though, you don't really seem to know what you want. You seem to find every excuse in the book why you can't fuck with a half-way decent dude. This Printer dude seems to be cool just off this little info you posted about him. If you have time to have chit chatting texts sessions with a weird dude who picks his nose, HC you can't chill for 5 minutes over some coffee with Printer dude, who seems to be decent and normal? I'm beginning to think you like the attention from these dudes you post about, but are too scared to fuck with them. It's almost as if some really foul shit happened to you in your past from dudes that makes you scared to get involved with them. What really just fucked me up, though, is all this time I thought you were younger than me. I just turned 30 a few months. You're 47 years old and date dudes as if you're in your early 20s. For real. I would think at your age, you would have this dating shit figured out by now, just based on experience alone. It seems logical that you would know what type of dudes to avoid based on your past experiences. I think you just like the attention.

[AGDee]

I know exactly what I'm looking for and I cut them loose when I discover that they are not it. I've been married, have kids who are almost grown and I don't need to waste my time with men who aren't what I'm looking for. I have every intention of meeting up with Printer Guy but he brought it up on Wednesday and I had a meeting that night, another meeting Thursday night, a wedding Friday night and four graduation parties yesterday. It was an unusually busy weekend. We'll meet next weekend. I only have one grad party next Saturday, after I drop my son off for his backpacking trip.

I don't respond to most of Quiet Guy's text messages. I find it annoying that he is texting as often as he is.. first thing in the morning, during work, when he knows I'm at a wedding and grad parties, etc. He started out ok the first couple days of talking and has gotten out of control with it the last two days. These are the things that come out after a week of talking. I decided on cheesy one liner day (Friday) that I wasn't going to meet him in person. Yesterday, while I was at grad parties, he was texting all day and I didn't respond.

There are so many screwed up guys my age on PoF and OKC that I screen them really carefully before meeting in person. I do know what I don't want but you go on and on about how I cut guys loose for the wrong reasons...lol. I am looking for something different than a lot of you are looking for. I don't need to find someone to start a family with, etc. If I don't find someone who is my type, it won't really matter. I will still have a full, happy life without meeting someone.

[XAntoftheSkyX]

So Starfish and I will not be getting back together, pretty much forever.

[cheerfulgreek]

^^^You two broke up? Xant I'm sorry.

[XAntoftheSkyX]

^ The idea was with her busy this summer through winter with things, and with me gone this summer we thought we should take a break and get back together come December. Apparently plans had changed.