My Mean Girls Recruitment (which wasn't mean at all!)

[happygreek5]

Let me just start this off by saying that I had a GREAT recruitment experience! Although it was stressful and insane, I would recommend that if you're a high school student/incoming freshman reading this and are even considering rushing, just go through the experience! Even if I hadn't ended up deciding to join a sorority, I think it's more than worth it to at least check out Greek life--after hearing from my non-greek friends, those who considered rushing but chose not to (either wanted to wait until next year, weren't available rush week, etc.) really regret the decision. That being said, here's my Mean Girls recruitment story (because it's one of the funniest movies ever )

In high school I never thought much about rushing at all. I'm a first generation college student, so obviously nobody in my family had gone greek. I knew some older girls that had rushed at various schools, and I had seen some of their experience through Facebook--they always seemed like that were having a great time! I hadn't really talked to them too much about it though. I didn't know much at all about Greek life until senior year of high school when I came to visit the school I was going to and met a bunch of girls at a fraternity party, nearly all of them from the same sorority. We hit it off and they encouraged me to think about rushing the following year, so I told them I'd consider it. I kind of put it to the back of my mind, but I saw the same girls at other functions throughout the year (I had a close friend in a fraternity on campus) and they kept talking to me about how I should go through formal recruitment. I was intrigued, and I liked the atmosphere of the Greek community that I had seen so far, so I told them I would probably rush (though I still wasn't sure).

When I finally got to campus I met lots of new people, but it was a weird experience for me-- I had the same main group of friends for years, and although I'm a very social person, I started off feeling alone. I love to meet new people, but it was weird for me to be basically alone on campus (I'm from out of state). I missed having a tight-knit group to rely on. When I first got to campus, I tentatively took the flyers and pamphlets from the cheery Rho Chis on campus. However, by the time sign-ups became available, I had firmly decided that I at least wanted to go through recruitment and see if I found my niche. I had become pretty close with my roommate, and she was on the fence about signing up for recruitment just like I had been. However, she eventually submitted an application after I convinced her it was worth a look. Another good friend I made from classes was excited to sign up as well, and I was so happy to see that when we met up with our Rho Chis, we were in the same group! By the time recruitment weekend came around, I was nervous but I felt as prepared as I could be, and I was starting to get excited. I had done a lot of research about symbols, colors, philanthropies, and reputations--rookie mistake haha. Since I wasn't close with many people that were in sororities, I didn't want to be completely uninformed, so I decided to try to put feelers out on my own about what to expect. Here's my absolutely horrible Janice Ian lunchroom breakdown of the 8 houses:

Regina
3 WORDS: PRETTY, RICH, FAKE
This house was the one that came to mind when I thought of recruitment, because it was the only house where I really knew girls. From what i had heard, they were the most "cookie cutter" sorority on campus-- beautiful, rich, and seemingly popular but could be very stuck up. I was also told that they recruited heavily based on looks, and that made me a little uncomfortable. However, the handful of girls I knew had all seemed fun and outgoing, and I felt like they were thought of as one of the best houses on campus--a lot of girls were excited about going there. I also liked all the things about them that I shouldn't have been too concerned about--their colors, their symbol, etc.

Janice
3 WORDS: AWKWARD, UNATTRACTIVE, UPTIGHT
I wasn't really enthused about this house. I knew a girl from my high school that was in a chapter at a different school, and she was gorgeous but extremely mean. Also, on my campus they were thought of as the worst house. However, I thought it seemed like their reputation was based on catty things, and I wanted to see for myself.

Karen
3 WORDS: WILD/PROMISCUOUS, CATTY, PRETTY
I knew one girl from this house, and she was really nice. I had heard from a number of people that these girls used to have an "easy" reputation and were turning their image around, but supposedly they didn't have a strong sisterhood and were seen fighting in public frequently. That freaked me out a bit, but I figured that could just be rumors and I wanted to know more.

Damien
3 WORDS: OFF THE RADAR
Honestly I couldn't find out very much about this house. People didn't really talk about it much, I didn't see many people wearing their letters, I didn't hear of a good or bad reputation. The girls were decent-looking, somewhat involved, and relatively nice. I didn't know much at all.

Cady
3 WORDS: DIVERSE, SWEET, FUN
This house was pretty new to campus--it had only been colonized a few years back, so it seemed like they didn't really have a stereotype yet, but nobody really had anything negative to say about them except that they were new. All I kept hearing about them was that they were making a big impression, but I didn't know if it was good or bad. I was interested to find out more about this house, but I wasn't sure if I would like the fact that they didn't have a strong "tradition" on our campus. I was really intrigued by this house, and a lot of people were excited to go there.

GRETCHEN
3 WORDS: HIGH-ACHIEVING, INVOLVED, NICE
A lot of people made the argument that this house was the best on campus--it had a long history there, they had popular philanthropy events, and their sisters were the leaders of many major organizations. I really hoped that I fit into this house based on what I had heard from others!

Aaron
3 WORDS: CHILL, FUN, GOOFY
This house was kind of the oddball of recruitment--there were all kinds of mixed feelings about it. It was a small chapter with the reputation of being a party house--the girls didn't really seem to care too much about anything. They were always in trouble with panhellenic for not following various rules, but they seemed to be really laid-back, always having a good time, had a pretty strong sisterhood, and fraternity guys treated most of them like "one of the bros." I wasn't sure how I felt about this house, but I was interested to meet them.

Kevin G
3 WORDS: NEW, NEW, NEW
This house was brand-new on my campus, and they would only be a part of formal recruitment for one round. We were told that we should keep this option in mind, but it was encouraged that we continue with formal recruitment and if we still felt strongly about that house we could drop formal recruitment at the end and go through their informal recruitment at a later time. Considering that, I didn't really give this house much thought at first.



To follow up these pre-conceived notions I had about the houses, I want to honestly say that trying to go into recruitment with ideas in my head was the stupidest thing. After being involved with Greek life, it is easy to see that all of the sororities on my campus have great things to offer and are great in different ways, and DO NOT fit those stereotypes. There are people in every house that could fit each reputation I originally had in my head, and outside perspective of a house isn't nearly as important as the bonds between the sisters within them. Luckily I realized that part pretty soon after recruitment started and I went through with a really open mind. I felt bad for being at all worried about "reputation" when that's not normally me at all, and I would encourage future PNMs to be open-minded as well. I know it can be hard when there's opinions being thrown at you from all sides, but none of that temporary catty stuff really matters when you're choosing a sisterhood you want to be a part of for life.

ALL THAT BEING SAID....

ROUND 1

[happygreek5]

Round 1: Philanthropy

My school had 3 recruitment rounds (Philanthropy, Tours, Pref), and the first round was split into two days (4 one day, 4 the next), then you narrowed round two down to 5 houses, and pref was 2 houses.

I was disappointed to realize that the first round of recruitment interfered with one of my classes, and my Rho Chi informed me that I would have to miss two parties. The parties I was missing were Karen and Damien, and although I was glad that neither of those were among my my preconceived "favorites," I was disappointed to have to miss any opportunities. Also, since I would be missing the first two parties, I felt like I would seem awkward in comparison to the other rushees in my group that would have been to parties already by the time I got there. But my first house was Cady, and I was really excited about that one. I nervously took my place in the alphabetically ordered line when I finally arrived, and tried to get any information I could from the other girls in my group about how the parties worked. I was confused and overwhelmed when it was time to make our way inside, but I was so excited!

Cady
Being my first house, I had no idea what to expect. A really pretty sweet girl met me at the door and led me to the chapter room, and I remember thinking the house was decorated beautifully but set up a little strangely. I was pretty nervous, because I was the only one there who hadn't done this before, but I immediately began to feel comfortable. I ended up talking to 4 or 5 different girls, and they were all so nice and cute--some I connected with more than others, especially a friendly junior with whom I shared a lot of similar interests. They were all so enthusiastic about their philanthropy, but not creepily over-eager, and I connected with the cause on a personal level, so that was cool. Overall I felt comfortable there, and left smiling. However, I didn't have anything to compare it to yet, so I wasn't sure if I was just excited to finally be experiencing recruitment.

Kevin G
This was only other house that I visited the first day, and it was an informal presentation/social with members from other chapters of the organization. The organization sounded really cool, and I didn't totally rule it out, because being a charter member of a group would be an interesting experience. However, I wasn't sure I wanted to join a group that wasn't established on campus yet.

[happygreek5]

Round 1: Philanthropy (Part 2)

The next day, I was told I would be visiting Aaron Janice Regina and Gretchen. I was especially excited for the last two, and ended up with the following notes:
Aaron
I had a mixed experience here. I went in pretty excited, and the first girl I talked to was extremely nervous, but funny and kept conversation going. She accidentally started talking about partying, though, and then she got really awkward and quiet after that like she didn't want to say the wrong thing. Someone came over to transition with her and she got really flustered because the partying comment was the last thing she'd said, so she didn't know what to tell them we talked about. The rest of the conversations went okay, but no great connection, and they had more rushees than rushers so the PNM I was paired with kept talking over me. I left feeling pretty disappointed.

Janice
This house was much better than I expected. They were a big part of what made me forget about the silly stereotypes that I had heard from other PNMs/upperclassmen. Everyone I talked to was very sweet and genuine, and I felt bad that other people judged them poorly based on superficial things. I had great and meaningful conversations, and left feeling happy.

Regina
This was the house I had been really looking forward to. Their house was gorgeous on the outside and inside, and all the girls were so polished and pretty. I didn't like that the party was very loud and I felt like I had to shout at the girls, and they kneeled in front of us while we sat which I found awkward. The girls I talked to used a similar high-pitched voice/laugh, and they didn't tell me anything at all about their philanthropy. But I had pretty fun conversations with 2 of the girls I talked to there, and they seemed so confident! I left feeling like I had found a favorite so far.

Gretchen
I don't even remember much about this party because I was so tired by the time I got there, but nothing stood out in my mind. Their house was ok. Their philanthropy didn't really strike a chord with me, although they did seem passionate about it which I liked. All 4 of the sisters I talked to were very nice from what I remember, and I was excited about a particular connection I shared with one of them. But something just didn't click for me. I couldn't put my finger on it at all, and I had been really looking forward to meeting these girls, so I thought maybe it was just everyone being tired that caused a negative experience.

When it came time to rank my choices, I decided I wanted to at least list the houses I missed in my top 5 so that I could have a chance to go there if they extended an invitation. My rankings were, in order:
Regina
Cady
Janice
Karen
Damien

Gretchen
Aaron

I wanted to give Gretchen another chance, but I moreso wanted to have the possibility of seeing the two houses I missed in round 1 so I would know I explored all my options. I was so anxious to know where I would be invited back to for round 2!

(Sorry to break up the posts! I promise I'l post again in a bit)

[happygreek5]

Round 2: Tours

The next day my Rho Chi told me which houses had invited me back:
Janice
Aaron
Cady
Regina
Gretchen

I was so relieved to see Regina and Cady in particular, because those had been my two favorites. I was a little disappointed neither Karen or Damien gave me a chance, but with so many girls going through rush it was completely understandable that they didn't waste an invite on someone they never met. I met up with my friend in my Rho Chi group, and she was disappointed to have been cut from Cady which had been her favorite. She was excited to go back to Aaron and Regina, though, and my roommate was happy to be going back to Cady and Regina as well. I was hoping that we would all like Regina since that was the one we still had in common.

Regina
I was happy to be headed here first, and the full tour of the house was not a disappointment. It was gorgeous and huge, and I was mesmerized by the adorable decor. The girls I talked to that day were both bubbly, and kept conversation going. A few of the older girls seemed very disinterested, though, and when I finally saw one of the girls who encouraged me to rush the year before, she gave me a kind of fake, brief greeting and pronounced my name wrong. I was a little stunned, but the other girls I talked with were very friendly. I had been told that sometimes older sorority members in particular get sick of the long recruitment days, so I tried to chalk it up to it being early and them having stayed up late voting. I didn't want to seem over-eager, so I tried to hold back from gushing about the house or my excitement to be there, and I left feeling like I really could be a Regina. I was head over heels.

Aaron
I really enjoyed the atmosphere in the house during this round, and I felt it reflected the sisterhood well, but I just didn't click with anyone. I was paired with another PNM once again, and she was really excited about this house. Since didn't really feel a connection with anyone there, I let her take the lead in conversation. I didn't dislike the house, but I didn't make a huge effort--I could just feel it wasn't right for me.

Cady
I was excited to be back at this house, because the first day had turned into a blur after all the other parties I'd been to, and I wanted to see if I still felt a connection here. I was happy to find that I did! Everyone was down to earth and genuine. I had one awkward conversation, but the girl was really nice. I was extremely happy that the girl I connected with the most on the first day stopped by to give me a hug and chat for a minute, even though I wasn't in her rotation. It made me feel good that she remembered me and made a point to say hi. The girls were as diverse as I'd been told, but seemed to have a solid sisterhood. Things weren't quite as structured here as they were at other places, but I figured it was because they were still pretty new, and I liked that things felt laid-back. I thought I could see myself there.

Gretchen
This house was really disappointing to me. I felt bad, because once again I have no idea why I didn't feel a connection there--everyone was sweet and welcoming, and all of the information about their accomplishments and sisterhood and functions was impressive... but I just knew this was not the place for me, and would be low on my list.

Janice
I wasn't as impressed with this house in the 2nd round as I was in the 1st. The girls were so sweet and genuine once again, but the girl I spent most of my time with did not know what to say to me. She was really trying but there would be huge long gaps in conversation where it seemed she was searching for something rehearsed to say. I felt bad because she really made an effort, but it made for an overall awkward experience. I still liked the house, but I knew it wouldn't make my top two when I had to rank again.

I submitted my rankings that night feeling pretty confident--Regina and Cady were my clear choices for pref round--but for some reason I could not get Regina out of my head--their house and polished image had made an impact on me. I knew I would be happy at either of those two houses, but something about Regina had me mesmerized. I submitted my rankings:
Regina
Cady

Janice
Aaron
Gretchen

[FSUZeta]

sounds like your recruitment was going well.

[FleurGirl]

Can't wait to read the rest!

[barbino]

This sounds good - I like your writing.

[Tulip86]

Love it so far.

But I sure hope you remembered to wear pink on Wednesday...

[Sciencewoman]

Looking forward to reading more!

[happygreek5]

Round 3: Pref

Before we left for this round, I asked my roommate how her ranks had been. She said she had Cady as number 1 and Regina as number 2. I asked her why she chose the way that she did and she said that she felt like her conversations at Cady had been more sincere. I kind of waved that point away, because I was still thinking about the gorgeous house and people from Regina. I went up to my Rho Chi smiling and excited to receive my invitations for the day. She looked a little nervous, and I immediately got anxious. My invitations were:

Cady
Janice

I just stared at her for a second and then stared at my feet, willing myself not to cry. It was my first big rejection, and it was from a house I was sure I had a connection with. Those were the girls that had first tried to talk me into rushing, and they rejected me! My Rho Chi knew how much I had liked Regina ), and she immediately gave me a hug. She seemed genuinely disappointed for me, but was very comforting and reminded me that I really liked Cady too, and that I shouldn't take Regina's rejection too personally. I was still heartbroken, but I took her advice and tried to get excited for my pref parties.

Janice
This party did not do much to help cheer me up. Because it was superficially labeled the worst house on campus, a lot of the girls who ended up at their preference round were not happy to be there and were acting pretty rude, and that just made me sad. Even though I wasn't sure it was the best fit for me, the girls at this house were so nice. However, the pref ceremony creeped me out a little. Also, I got preffed by the same girl who I had really awkward conversation with 2nd round, and pref day wasn't any better. She was nice, and other girls I had met previously came by to say hello, but I found myself anxious to leave. I felt terrible when the girl said "hope to see you tomorrow!" when I was leaving. I just couldn't see myself there.

Cady
When I got to the front door, I didn't realize that I had been fully expecting to be met by the friendly junior I had talked to all week until she was standing there beaming at me. She gave me a huge hug and said she was so glad I was back, and we sat had the best conversation I had through all of rush. She asked different questions than the typical ones I had been asked all week, and we were genuinely laughing the whole time. I could tell she wasn't just trying to make a good impression on me either. We talked to a few other girls, and then headed to the ceremony. The pref ceremony was completely different than the first one I went to. It was beautiful and although I could tell the sisters were a little nervous, I didn't question that it was all from the heart. I remember turning to the girl who preffed me and saying "this is what I've been looking for!" because I realized how silly I had been to have ever wanted a different house. Yes, a certain image is nice. But as pretty and polished as Regina was, I saw that it wasn't what a sorority is about at all. It's a sisterhood. I could see the Cady girls as my sisters, and I knew they were being themselves. Looking back at my conversations and the attitudes of Regina's members, they were wonderful girls with a great sisterhood, but I don't think it would have been a good/natural fit for me personally. I had tried to talk myself into it because of superficial things, but those aren't what will matter down the road once college is over--it's the bonds you make with people who like you for who you are (that sounds so corny, but it's true!!!).

I left Cady feeling happy and hopeful. I was a little nervous still--what if I was talking myself into having a connection like I did at Regina? But I didn't think so.
When it came time to fill out my final rankings, I didn't know exactly what to do. I obviously wanted to pledge Cady, and didn't feel in my heart like I should accept a bid from Janice, but I had been told by my Rho Chi that suiciding is a terrible idea because it prevents you from being eligible for COB and things like that. The more I thought about it though, I knew I had to go with my gut. My friend told me was going to suicide Aaron but didn't feel like she'd made very good connections there, and was honestly hoping to continue Kevin G's informal recruitment. Although I was very much hoping for a Cady bid, I figured that if I didn't get one I would also like to check out Kevin G, and I wouldn't be able to do that if I had to reject Janice's bid...so the choice seemed clear.











I suicided Cady.
I was happy to hear that my roommate put Cady as her final first choice with no hesitation.

Now all that was left to do was wait... would I get the "no bid" call?
My stomach was in knots all the next day and I kept staring at my phone willing it not to ring......







But then it did.....












Because my roommate wanted to know if she could borrow a pair of my shoes for BID DAY.
5:00 came and went, and I knew that meant I RECEIVED A BID FROM CADY!!




I didn't believe it at one point during rush, but I ended up where I was meant to be. My roommate ended up being a Cady as well, along with a few other friends! Bid day was one of the best days I have had, and I am so blessed to be a member of such an amazing organization. My sisters are such beautiful, genuine, wonderful people and I am glad to be one of them. And the girl who preffed me ended up being my big! I am so glad I went through recruitment, and my experience so far has been so fetch

[FSUZeta]

What a great story and such a happy ending. Congratulations!

[OPhiAGinger]

Originally Posted by happygreek5

....suiciding is a terrible idea because it prevents you from being eligible for COB and things like that.... My friend told me was going to suicide Aaron ..., and was honestly hoping to continue Kevin G's informal recruitment.

So, although suiciding one house makes you ineligible for COB, you're still eligible to pursue a colonization? Interesting. I would guess that when a colony is waiting to start their recruitment that the suicide rate (so to speak) spikes. Has anybody experienced that at their campus?

To the OP, where did your friend-who-suicided-Aaron wind up?

[Tulip86]

Congratulations! Do you mind sharing what sorority Cady is?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

So, although suiciding one house makes you ineligible for COB, you're still eligible to pursue a colonization? Interesting. I would guess that when a colony is waiting to start their recruitment that the suicide rate (so to speak) spikes. Has anybody experienced that at their campus?

To the OP, where did your friend-who-suicided-Aaron wind up?

No. Unless there is a campus rule that contradicts the MOI recommendations, women who suicide are eligible for COB (and colony recruitment). They are not eligible for snap bids.

[happygreek5]

I'm not sure why it worked that way or if we were misinformed, but that's what we were told when we asked about it. Since declining a bid makes you ineligible for a year, we were told you wouldn't be allowed to pledge the new colony if we were offered a bid and didn't accept it. And Cady is better known as....

In bonds of wine and silver blue...

PI BETA PHI

***** Also, if anyone has any idea what school I am from, please keep it to yourself!! Not that it's a huge deal, because I don't have bad opinions of other chapters and would hope nobody was offended by my misguided first impressions... but I don't want to step on any toes regardless!