Quote:
Originally Posted by bevinpiphi
We still got positive recs for terrible women from members. The person writing the rec only knew what the woman presented, and didn't know that underneath she was a verbally abusive, manipulative narcissist. Or didn't know that the woman did a pretty good job of hiding her cocaine habit...until she didn't. Or that another was dealing ecstasy under the table. On the surface, especially to alums, these women would look great...but not once you dug deeper. Some of them we may not have offered bids to without the positive recs, but all of them became standards nightmares.
Recommendation letters are a sticky thing, with no right answer, and not universally helpful (or unhelpful - I no rec'd my brother's cheating, controlling ex with zero regrets over it - and then she ended up expelled from the university in her 2nd semester)
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Exactly. It could go either way. Because many of these women are getting recs to simply check a checkbox. We actually encourage it, telling them to tap into their local panhellenic group or to ask anyone and everyone they've ever known in their entire lives if they are a sorority member or know a sorority member who can get them a rec. So perhaps they got their seventh grade English teacher who's an ABC to write them a rec, but hey, that PNM has changed quite a bit since seventh grade. And when considering some young women aim to have two recs to every sorority at schools with 15+ chapters, it stands to reason that some of those are of the "I got my friend's stepsister's aunt to write this" variety.
