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Old 04-03-2019, 01:24 PM
AnchorAlumna AnchorAlumna is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Old South
Posts: 2,935
I've done recs and our local alumnae panhellenic for many, many years, so I thought I was well prepared when daughter went through. In addition to the recs via the alum panhellenic, i also called friends in various sororities and asked them if they would write a rec for her.
I always thought the moms who'd stay the week were just creepy, so I didn't go, didn't even make plans for bid day.
But when she was dropped after pref, I devoutly wished I had been there to let her cry on my shoulder and to hug her and tell her it would all work out.
But...24 hours later she was fin;, I was the one still devastated!
It all did work out, she got a COB bid to her preferred group. But she was never as involved in her sorority as I was in mine. She never served as an officer, and the only little sister she got didn't show up after bid day. Her closest friends in the sorority resigned in their sophomore and junior years.
So...I don't think handling her recs was "helicopter parenting." It was something I had done for others for many years and that I could easily do. They were my friends, not hers.
It's great for the girls themselves to make the calls and requests, but I always encourage moms to lend a hand. It's a struggle enough when they're that age, so all the better if there's something mom and daughter can work on together.
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