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Old 12-16-2006, 07:42 PM
7thSonofOsiris 7thSonofOsiris is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Posts: 131
Of lessons learned...

After reading this article, I am both happy to know that thoughts like it are shared amongst blk women, and I am happy to see the varied responses to it. Referencing the last part of my opening statement first, we must learn to duly appreciate the differences in each other's opinion driven responses, because blk women come just as varied as those repsonses. Oh yes, foundationally, blk women may have 98% of the same traits and intrinsic qualities, but, but it is each woman's specific journey, that makes her different from her sister.
You sisters are varied in background, exposure, theocratic belief, educational levels, earning levels, experiences with your fathers which ultimately affects each your experiences with the men you meet, and finally, each of you women have some slight variation in your life's fulfilling expectations.
In both pratice and theory, contemporary blk men love the strength that you sisters gain that comes from being independent, but, this spirit of independence must be coupled with that part of your genome, that part of you that insured that you would be born nurturers. We love knowing that we can, fight the world all day, and come home to that teammate who's presence and spirit will relax us, tend to us, and elevate us. We love the sister who has a sense of vision and focus, but, we want to know that we will be able to bring together, both our vision and her vision, without embarrassment in the direction of that vision, or without having to lower our confidence about that vision. Its the combining of these visions though, that will make you two a truly successful couple. Now, this doesn't mean that couples will not encounter their regular couple driven issues, but, those can be conquered, especially when compromise and communication are strong suits in your relationships.
Lastly, as I interact with my female friends and or relatives, and I listen as they go on about the business of discussing their men and relationships, or, even if they talk about fears and concerns when considering what their futures have in store in the area of love, I always say to them. First, look beyond what a man earns, but moreso, look at how he handles what he earns. Study his habits of stewardship and how he manages his money. Couple that with what he shares with you, is his vision for his life. I always say to them, secondly, look at how he interacts with the women who raised him and the women in his family. That will tell you something about how he was schooled to interact with women. Sometimes, men can be chameleons and hide their trues hearts, but, this putting on airs and hiding their truer selves can only last for a little while. We are way too simple creatures, if he's faking at who he wants you to believe that he is, trust me when I say that he won't have the endurance to do this for too long. I always say to them, thirdly, look at the conduct and habits of the men who raised him, especially the character of his father if there was a father present. This will show you the ways in which he was schooled to be a man. Lastly, I will advise sisters to always, always, look at the woman that you are now, and look at the woman that you desire to become, and ask yourselves, how attractive you are to "you". I was taught that, if you aren't attractive to yourself, then you for sure won't be attractive to anyone else. We men will fall in love with the "you", that you present to us. Make her above average, intelligent, confident, spiritual, loyal, trust worthy, visionary, passionate and fuse this with an understanding of Biblical order and text, and we men will give you all that we are.

Last edited by 7thSonofOsiris; 12-16-2006 at 08:01 PM.
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