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Old 06-20-2018, 01:02 PM
NYCMS NYCMS is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 281
Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
To play devils advocate (or maybe just devil):

Perhaps when it was mandatory that pledges showed up at everything - every meeting, every mixer, every sisterhood event - it made it easier for those shy ones to make friends. You didn’t have to worry about who would show up to something, because you knew who would - everyone! If you miss one event, you miss a chance to make friends and bond, and it snowballs from there. I know I did things as far as putting myself out there socially (in both my pledge times) that I wouldn’t have had the guts to do only months earlier, because I had to. I’m so glad I did!

Good point. And re: the earlier poster's post (the one with the quote), I wonder about a few other things.

1) At many schools, pledge classes are so large I think girls get lost...ironically you'd think the more girls, the easier to make friends, but sometimes it might be the reverse.
2) More students go out of state these days so imagine you're the one gal from Arizona in a pledge class in Kansas while most of your pledge class are Kansas girls who know each other already...almost like breaking into a clique.
3) Expectations. I think this is key - kids today are used to getting everything instantly (technology) so they unconsciously transfer that to making friends. Technology has skewed their social habits and expectations and that's changed how they view relationships to some degree, I think as they have expectations of things happening "instantly" and "easily." They makes friends via social media, yet they never meet in person - just chat online. They spend hours texting or Snapchat-ing their local friends. I've seen kids texting each other while sitting in the same room.

This is one reason why I think girls de-pledge so easily these days...when I was in school one never did that unless there was a super serious reason. Now I hear of girls who are nonchalant about it, "I just didn't feel it." Well, "feeling the love" takes time but many girls aren't used to having to give things time due to how technology makes everything so immediate. Oddly enough, we are more connected than ever via technology, but from a mental health perspective, we're more disconnected, hence the dramatically rising rates of depression, anxiety and suicide, among adolescents, college kids and young adults (and older). So many great kids out there, but so many that face real challenges, hence the "failure to thrive" young adult that we in behavioral health see all too often today.

Last edited by NYCMS; 06-20-2018 at 10:00 PM.
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