My freshman year, I was disdainful of the idea of joining a sorority - I was a "good girl" who purposely went to a Christian school to avoid the kind of wild partying I assumed went with the territory of Greek life. However, throughout the year, I met some wonderful girls in a particular sorority with a reputation for being the kind of girls I wanted to be friends with: "good girls." They were sweet, involved, social girls with the top campus GPA, and the only bad thing I ever heard anyone say about them was that they were "too nice."
As a somewhat introverted person, I craved deeper friendships, and I decided to join a sorority. But not just any sorority - this sorority. I saw recruitment as a mere formality - everyone I knew expected me to join this sorority. Though I ended up considering 2 others, XYZ was still where I thought I'd end up. My closest rush group friend told me after our first party there that she "just knew I'd be an XYZ." It wasn't even for popularity reasons - though they were well-respected on campus, they certainly weren't the "top" group. I really loved my time at their parties, laughed with the actives, and had deeper than surface level conversations.
And then, before pref - I was cut. I was completely shocked. I'm one of the most insecure people I know, and I felt personally rejected. Another friend in my group couldn't stop herself from bursting out, "They cut you? You're like the ultimate XYZ." Very helpful to hear
But thanks to an amazing Rho Chi, I picked myself off and headed to the parties I did have. I was nervous and reluctant but determined to have a happy ending, even if it wasn't the one I originally planned. I focused on the groups I did have, and received a bid to my (new) first choice.
Did I have what-if moments? Sure. For a little while, every time I met a new XYZ that I hit it off with, or had a moment of feeling left out of my pledge class, I wondered what happened, or what could have been. But I realized that, quite frankly, I was being a bit of an idiot with my attitude before rush, and any time I spent worrying about XYZ was time that I could have spent throwing myself headfirst into my new home and falling deeper in love with it.
And I did fall in love with it, after becoming super-involved and attending every event possible. (You can fall in love after having another group break your heart; you just might have to work at it. Don't be upset because you expected it to "just happen," it doesn't always work that way). I found I had become ridiculously judgmental - a girl's worth is not determined by whether or not she drinks. Over time, I realized that while the girls of XYZ and I shared a lot of similarities obvious to outside onlookers, there was something intangible that I shared with my sisters - a certain sense of humor, a component of our personalities - something that bound us together and made us fit despite being very different. I'll always call some XYZs friends, because we are similar - but I'll always call Thetas my sisters.
