[carlydaniel11]

Okay, so my first choice was ABC, and I was (still am) absolutely in love with them. While waiting out in front of the house for the girl to call my name, I was so excited to be back, and couldn’t wait to go inside. I got the same girl for prefs that I had for round 1, and she said she was so excited to see me again, and that she really wanted me for prefs. We had probably the best conversation I've ever had in my life, it felt like it was only 5 minutes long instead of 40, and I wanted to keep talking to her for hours. After both round 1 and prefs, she said to me, "I really enjoyed talking to you, I hope I get to see you soon." I honestly want her to be my big, we clicked so well. While they were singing their song during the prefs ceremony, I looked around the room and started to cry, because I felt like I could picture myself there for the rest of my life. And now onto my second choice, the one I got a bid from... XYZ. I was not really a fan of them at all, I repeatedly tried to drop them after round 2 and 3, but they kept asking me back. My round 1 girl was really cool, but she's also my friend's roommate (which I'm afraid is the only reason I liked her). My round 2 and 3 girls were really boring and I couldn't wait to get out of the house. The girl I had for round 3 was the same girl I had for prefs, and I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty disappointed. That conversation was just as boring as the last one. During their song, I felt weird, and that I didn't belong, and I couldn't wait to leave. And now comes Bid Day. The whole time I was waiting to find out, I was singing ABC's song in my head, and numerous people had told me they could picture me as an ABC, so I thought I had it in the bag. Then, I opened my envelope and my heart dropped... it said XYZ. I was so sad, I wanted to cry. I figured I should just try it out though, so I went to the Bid Day party expecting it to be fun, but nope, it was so boring! The whole time, I was just standing there thinking, “ok can I leave now?” Now I'm 2 weeks in, haven't made any new friends, and I don't really like either buddy that I have gotten. The only people I know in this chapter are 2 of my close friends from high school, and I'm scared that the only reason I got in is because I know them. I don't feel like I fit in here, I'm too girly, and I don't really have the same vibe/ interests as them. Also I'm a sophomore, so I haven't really made any friends with my pledge class because they’re all freshmen. And still to this day, if I hear anyone mention ABC or I see their letters, I just want to break down into tears because I love them so much. I kind of want to drop out and try again next year for ABC, but I'll be a junior by then, and will probably have a really small chance of getting a bid from anyone at all. But at the same time, I do want to be in a sorority, so I don't know if I should just get over it and power through, or if I should drop, because I'm not happy with it, and I feel like I don’t fit in. Please help me I don't know what to do!!!