[HoneyDip05]

I’m posting this here because I honestly do not know where else to ask this. I am a new member but I have been on this site countless times and found useful information in the past. I really don’t want to ask anyone I know in real life in case I end up having to take action. I’m hoping someone more experienced can help? Ideally members of Divine Nine/ NPHC orgs would respond (because I'm not sure if procedures are the same for NPC orgs) but I welcome ALL input. I'm having a hard time with this and I'm not sure if I am being irrational or if I am right to be as angry as I am.

TLDR- my college roommate was a renegade member of a D9 sorority in college and has now joined my D9 sorority as a grad member. Is there anything I can do to report her or have her expelled? Would she have to know if I am the one who reports her?

Long version: I pledged my sorority 15 years ago as an undergrad. My roommate and I went through the initial process, interest meeting, application etc. together. She ended up not making line and I did. It was devastating. I had not been interested in pledging before meeting her freshman year. She came from a family of sorors, though she is not a legacy, and her excitement and passion is what got me interested in the first place. After not making line, she always said she would go grad.

The next year, she ended up dating a guy who is also in a D9 frat who suggested she join the sorority that is affiliated with his. I was shocked that she agreed. I asked her what about her lifelong interest in my org. She said that she wanted to have a process and felt that as a grad member she would always feel that she missed out and didn’t earn it. Okay. Long story short, her line ended up caught up in some drama. They never got paperwork, were never initiated, and they were a renegade line. I guess technically she never joined the org officially but she was definitely known as a member of the org among the Greek community in our area. There are many people who can attest that she is a ghost.

Fast forward 13 years. We graduated and lost touch a few years after graduation. We are friends on social media but not in contact in real life. I’m on Facebook minding my business in a private sorors group and I SEE HER in the group. I’m SHOCKED and then I get pissed off honestly. We’ve been friends on FB all this time, I never saw her post anything about joining my org. I hit her up casually, like, um hey I don’t think you should be in the group? She tells me she was inducted into a grad chapter for my org 2 years ago! She moved back home, which is only a neighboring state away, and her cousin helped her get into a local grad chapter. I told her that since she joined another org in college that it was unethical for her to join mine. She had the nerve to tell me to pull up the paperwork?!!! OBVIOUSLY there is no paperwork because she is a GHOST! She said there is no ethical issue because she was never initiated into any Greek organization. The conversation got heated. She told me I would never find a picture of her with letters, making a hand sign, or any record of membership in the other org. She said as far as the other org is concerned she never existed. Apparently, her dumbass never even filled out an application for membership!!! She said they started pledging her line before beginning any official process- not even an application filed—and when they got investigated the chapter members kept pledging them and crossed the line. She said the only thing she officially did was attend an interest meeting and there’s no rule against that. Meanwhile, I vividly remember her pledging for several weeks and I even went to the party they had when their line crossed! I asked her if she is not embarrassed? She said no!! She doesn’t think it is any different from people who are denied membership in one org and pledge another or drop off line from one org and join another. She’s legit crazy!

As far as I am concerned she is not a member of my sorority and will never, ever be my soror. She is a member of another org. I think it is unethical and I think she should be expelled. It’s awkward because we have all the same friends from college. It would probably ruin relationships with all of our mutual friends if I report her. Since several people know it wouldn’t necessarily come down to me being the one who reported it. I can’t let this go. It is so disrespectful to my org and my founders. Is there anything I can do?