[aephi alum]

The worst wedding I ever attended was the wedding of a high school / college classmate of my husband's: "Aaron".

Aaron had been raised as a Conservative Jew. Once in college, he rebelled and became totally non-religious. Some time after college, he "got religion" and decided to become a practicing Orthodox Jew.

In Orthodox Judaism, it's common for a matchmaker to introduce a young man and a young woman who might be well matched. If they hit it off, they sometimes get married pretty quickly. So, Aaron had been introduced to this young woman, "Leah", and they set a wedding date six weeks (!) away.

They sent out wedding invitations instructing guests to email (!) their responses.

Before and during the wedding ceremony, men and women were separated (very common in Orthodox Judaism). Before the ceremony, I made my own way, chatting with other women guests, but my poor DH had to pray along with the groom and all the other men... He was less than thrilled.

The ceremony itself was beautiful. Then came the Reception From Hell.

The seating at the reception was totally haphazard. Everyone at my table was a high school friend of the groom's, except me (placed there as my DH's wife) and one random guy who was a coworker of the groom's. The one random guy looked absolutely miserable, seated with no one he knew. There were huge gaps in the seating arrangements, because everyone who didn't respond was evidently assumed to be coming.

There was dancing (men and women were again separated). At one point, a line of women danced onto the floor, rocking their arms as if cradling babies, while the band played a lullaby. Hint much?

All the kosher caterers in Boston are booked up years in advance, because there are so few of them. So the happy couple had arranged catering from the local kosher Chinese restaurant (!!). And as if that weren't bad enough -

THEY RAN OUT OF FOOD.

THEY FREAKING RAN OUT OF FOOD.

So they sent back to the restaurant for more food. After a nice long delay while the food was prepared, it was sent over, and by the time it arrived it was COLD.

And there was no cake, pareve or otherwise.

DH exchanges emails with Aaron from time to time (he and Leah have a baby) but I haven't spoken to him since.

Oh, and the thank-you card? Over a year late.