I am one of those girls who "got lost in the shuffle" at a large SEC school. I believed all those little half-truths about the sorority getting the recommendation, you just turning in your little information sheet, etc. I secured no recs based on this lie.
I think I had a worse experience for a couple different reasons.
1. I was the only person from my high school at that particular university. There were girls from my hometown, but they all went to the prestigious private school and looked at me exceedingly weird when I said I went to a public high school.
2. I was very young, though everyone says it shouldn't have anything to do with it. I was actually 16 when I rushed and turned 17 later that fall.
I had the grades. I had the involvement in activities. I had the community service. On paper, I looked good.
I went onward to rush with no preconceived notions about any of the sororities. At the particular school that I attended, there are 18 sororities. During the first round, we visited all the houses and I thought, despite the reputation of being from a public school, that I had made a good impression. Imagine my surprise received my invitations to round 2 and I only had *2* houses left. Talk about a gut check moment. My rho chi couldn't believe it. After all the other girls left to go get ready for their first party, she talked to me for a while. She advised me to go to the 2 parties, even though I was a wreck, and so I did. I came back the next day and those 2 houses had dropped me. My rho chi cried with me when I dropped out of rush. She said she didn't understand why they wouldn't like me and I, honestly, I have no idea to this day.
My point is this, yes, there are girls who go into rush saying, "If I don't get ABC, then I don't go anything." I wasn't one of those girls and, yet, I still had an unsuccessful rush. I would have been more than happy to just find *A* home. Yes, at some level, it does effect your self esteem, but you can choose to dwell on it or live your life.
I ended up transferring to a college that did not have sororities. I'm currently persuing alumna initiation, so maybe things do work out for the best. It just might take a while for them to work out.
