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Old 09-09-2008, 12:14 AM
EE-BO EE-BO is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PJS View Post
My question is this: It seems odd that girls for whom greek membership is so important, at schools where greek membership is so important, would rather belong to no group than to the right group. Are some of you familiar with these situations, and do these girls regret their decisions later in their college careers? Since most highly-sought-after houses probably don't do COB or bid many sophmores, I assume that many of the girls that drop never pledge a house. Thanks.
It does seem odd on the face of it, but keep in mind too that just being Greek at a competitive school is not enough for many. There was another thread here recently where someone referenced the "top six" sororities at Texas. In point of fact, from a social tier standpoint, there is a "top three" within that top six. Same goes for the fraternities- there is a top five, but also the great triumverate within that top five.

And it does not stop there- the best fraternity men from all chapters might get to be a Texas Cowboy or a Silver Spur. Typically 2 spots per chapter (some chapters anyway- not all are represented) are available each semester.

And then of course there are officerships within fraternities and sororities, plus- at some campuses- IFC roles are important as are Greek-wide philanthropy committee roles like Dance Marathon.

The point is, there is always another door- always another "level" of existence. And too often the importance- or even the existence- of such levels is more in the mind of the individual than in the reality of Greek life at large.

Sororities recruit members who they feel will fit in socially, who will be good housemates and who they feel will love and respect the sorority and the privacy of ritual. Sure some info leaks out, but the fact that accurate ritual details still remain largely private after 100+ years and in this internet age are a testament to the fact that sororities make good decisions when recruiting members.

These ladies know what they are doing. During formal rush, they do not have the time to fully meet and know EVERY PNM- but neither do the PNMs. So the experience of the active members is what gives them the edge in making a better decision.

I think if a PNM comes into preference and REALLY knows that she just wants her top choice, then she should put her money where her mouth is and suicide on her pref card. I have known ladies who did this and mismatched and were okay with it. And of course many do get the bid and all is good.

In terms of taking a bid from a place a person did not want originally- the success of that, in my experience, depends on the person's attitude. Those who have an open mind and appreciate the fact they are the newcomers to a complicated and well-planned process seem to find out things worked out well. Those who just decided any bid was better than none are typically unhappy since they had unrealistic expectations.

At competitive campuses, unrealistic expectations are born of the belief that belonging to a certain sorority can- in and of itself- bring one up socially in the world. Any sorority or fraternity offers a tremendous personal experience for enthusiastic members who embrace these organizations for what they are- a chance to find comraderie at that point in life when we leave home and abandon our comfort zone to go out into the great wide world for the first time.

Those who seek to join "top groups" for more selfish and social-climbing reasons have the wrong idea. And they learn the hard way because they fail to appreciate that sororities populated by socially prominent members are experts at weeding out the pretenders who want to belong for the wrong reasons.

At the end of the day, it is about being part of something larger than yourself and an organization that offers leadership opportunities that go beyond what your average GDI can ever experience.

The active members of a sorority are the stewards of that gift- and they do not grant access to it lightly. And PNMs should not treat it lightly either.

As far as I am concerned, any PNM should be grateful for and pursue any invitation they receive in the later rounds of rush. And if they REALLY don't like how it goes, they should drop that chapter when they pref- even if it means they suicide or drop altogether. Because if they cannot get over not getting what they want, settling for second best means they might be keeping a serious and eager rushee off the list by preffing a place they do not really want to be and bumping a great potential member down the list.
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