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I have enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts and opinions on this issue, because it is one that I have had to deal with and am sure to deal with many times again. My organization does not have a policy requiring chapters to call or send a letter or anything. And I like it that way. I am not a fan of the phone call, for several reasons:
1. As stated earlier in the thread, the PNM is an adult. The decision to participate in recruitment was hers to make alone, and she can legally do it without parental consent. Additionally, some PNMs might not want to admit that they have been released and would prefer to say or act like the decision was hers. That's her business. Not Mom's. There are privacy laws preventing Universities from divulging information to parents. Even though our sororities do not receive federal funds and are not always subject to the same laws, perhaps we should consider them as a guideline.
2. Even though several of you have commented that it SHOULD be this way, it will be the very rare phone call that Mom says, "OKTHXBYE." More likely the advisor or President will get questions about "why" and questions about whether or not it can be reversed and threats to call Executive Office. Stress that they don't need during recruitment. Questions that they can't answer because they are about MS.
3. While I believe that alumnae are necessary and valuable assets to our organizations (I'm one), I do not believe that they are entitled to know privileged membership selection information. Who is invited to parties or who is not is privileged membership selection information.
4. The educated alumna will not only encourage her daughter to make her own decisions and join the sorority that is right for her, she will also understand that perhaps her daughter is not right for her sorority. There is a reason that our organizations (well, mine at least) do not allow alumnae to participate in membership selection. Mine does not even allow alumnae to ATTEND MS unless they are an advisor or international officer. Alumnae have the privilege of recommending members, but they do not have the privilege of selecting them. So why should they have the privilege of know who was NOT selected?
NOTE: When an organization has a policy in place that requires the phone call, I believe that it should be made. In no way would I suggest that chapters go against an inter/national policy. I am debating the practice in general, not whether or not chapters should adhere to rules.
I am curious to hear a reason for the notification beyond "respect the alumna." Why is it necessary to hear it from the chapter (if you can't hear the reason why) as opposed to hearing it from the PNM?
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