[KABillyMac]

Lifesaver, I think you will appreciate this.

I tend to hang out with the same four guys from my chapter most of the time. My little brother, my big, and my grand big (for lack of better titles). We all come from the same side of the tracks. We all farmed, had about the same upbringing, etc.

There is a new bar in our town called "Bottoms Up". Now BU is not your run of the mill everyday bar. It has a patronage that is what even i would call redneck (yeah, you can imagine). This bar also contains a mechanical bull. The later being the object of desire for the four of us. Its a weekly event refered to as the "Ravage, Pillage, and Plunder Series" by the rest of our brothers. Go to BU, ride the bull, sing Poncho and Lefty on Kareoke, hustle some pool, and get smashed. ( I rode the bull on 6 this week. Thats the equivilent of driving your car into a laundry dryer on perma press).

We all just had got done watching WKU beat UK, so we were a little bit pissed. I was approached by a lady, to use the term loosely, who wanted me to dance with her. This woman was just as scarey as you could ever imagine a woman could be. She wasnt large, but she did have seventeen tatoos, was missing a whole row of teeth on the left side of her jaw, and had several scars and scratches on her body. After declining her invitation to dance by explaining to her that I could'nt dance my way out of a wet paper bag, I began to make small talk just to be polite. Our conversation started with her telling me that she just had gotten out of jail that night. Coincidentally, she had been imprisoned for terroristic threatening. Now folks, I aint scared of much of nothin, but just let me give you a sample of the conversation that this woman and I had.........

Me "Where did you get that gash in your arm"
Her "Kife Fight"
Me "Wow. Did you win?"
Her "Yup, he done gone and messed with my babies and told him i's gonna cut him from ear to ear"
Me "Looks like he got the drop on you"
Her "You outta see the side of his face"

Being the gentleman that I am, and feeling that I had been polite enough to have some sort of a coversation with her, I excused myself to the bull for one last ride. As soon as that woman asked me to dance, my table went from 3 guys to some sort of scene out of a ghost town. I found my brothers laughing hystarically at me from the corner of the bar.

Whats the moral of this story Billy? Well kids, I'll tell you. Had I not been polite to this woman, I'm sure that she would have made quick work out of me with a razor blade, she probably had one stuffed in her bra. Never be rude to a woman that has 17 tatoos and kife scars all over her body..............