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Old 03-03-2008, 03:32 PM
nittanyalum nittanyalum is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cardinal026 View Post
My fiance did - and they were very clear that they didn't feel that the wedding I envisioned was going to be adequate for their family and friends, and that now that they got to pay for it, it was important that they host an affair that would be "good enough" for their side.

The reason I say that its too late to back out is because he actually asked - if we said "thank you so much for your offer, but we feel that this is not quite what we had hoped for, and rather than have you spend so much money on an event that isn't really 'us,' we think we'd like to go to the courthouse afterall." His father said that it would be a huge slap in the face to MIL and him, and wasn't really up for debate - they have people already planning on coming.

It sounds like something out of a terrible $.99 novel, lol - at this point, I just want to hurry up and get it over with.
It's horrible that that is the way you feel about it now. And if you haven't been crystal clear that that is now how you look at your wedding day, you should. It's awful they would take that away from you and leave you feeling you just can't wait until it's over!

Would it be sort of a compromise if you and your fiance took off for Hawaii or Vegas or the courthouse and do whatever YOU want to actually get married and then let his parents throw you a big formal reception? People usually sit through the church stuff in order to get to the party. I doubt many would be THAT upset they skipped step 1 if they still get to eat and drink and have a good time for free.

At least that way you will have gotten married the way you wanted to and they still get to show off for their ritzy friends.

My mother-in-law was a jerk when we were planning our wedding too and insisted on throwing a morning-after brunch at the place she wanted us to have the wedding and/or reception (which I refused). I went along with her doing the brunch because it kept her out of my hair (kind of) regarding the wedding day itself (although she put it down every time she had a chance during the planning) and I really didn't care what happened after our day. Well everyone had such a killer time at our wedding and were so hungover the next day that very few even made it to her event. Just our immediate family and my husband's immediate family. She had her big fancy room with intricate centerpieces she spent hours on, tons of expensive food and drink, and about a dozen of us there. Meanwhile, everyone went on and on about how they'd never seen a lovelier ceremony than ours or had a better time at a wedding/reception especially. I held my tongue, though it was hard, because she and I both knew that I was right and that I had won. Heh heh.
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