Quote:
Originally Posted by KSUViolet06
This is definitely not supposed to happen, but unfortunately still does.
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It didn't happen to my daughter, but she heard other PNMs talking about one group saying some questionable things at pref. And I honestly don't know if it is really that the actives are trying to be manipulative or that they just don't think through what they may have said. Yes, maybe one or two girls really really wanted the PNM, but depending on how that group does their voting and Bid List, those particular actives had less say in the matter than they thought.
It's a very fine line between trying to make a PNM feel like she is/can be part of the group and outright telling her she has a spot. And sometimes in their excitement and emotional state (because we ALL know how emotional pref can get), the PNM may hear things differently than it was said.
JLCo - I'm not doubting your daughter's intelligence or memory skills here, but recruitment is an emotional mess. Yes, some groups dirty rush, but sometimes it is actually just a mis-communication rather than someone lying to her. The actives may have said things one way, and she heard or interpreted it incorrectly. I also get that you are upset with them, but unless your daughter is willing to go to Panhellenic with the information and go through that process, it's probably best to vent, then let it go. Especially if she's happy with her bid.
And as for the fight with the boyfriend, I know completely from my experiences with my daughter that I'm getting pretty much her side of the discussion only and when she's on an emotional rant, her viewpoint is often pretty skewed. Once she calms down, we usually get the full story and can help her see how to fix it. She's getting better with it, but she does not "fight well" with boyfriends. Maybe he wasn't upset at her not getting the specific group, but her reaction to it all. Maybe she wouldn't let it go and that irritated him. Or maybe he is a jerk and only cares about ranking. But perhaps let a few days pass and see if calmer emotions allow you to get more of that story.
